do you have love shy symptoms like me?
Love-shyness is a hyponym of inceldom and a specific type of sometimes severe chronic shyness that impairs or prevents intimate relationships. It implies a degree...
incels.wiki
- He is a virgin.
- He rarely goes out socially with women more than just friends.
- He has no history of any emotionally close, meaningful relationships of a romantic and/or sexual nature with any member of the opposite sex.
- He has suffered and is continuing to suffer emotionally because of a lack of meaningful female companionship.
- He becomes extremely anxiety-ridden over so much as the mere thought of asserting himself vis-a-vis a woman in a casual, friendly way.
- He is strictly heterosexual in his romantic and erotic orientations.
Yes, yes, yes, yes, wot, yes.
“Indeed, if one were to predict among a large group of elementary school boys just exactly who is likely to go on to a life of chronic and painful love-shyness, there does not appear to be any better or more readily observable medical predictor than that of difficulties involving the nose.” (p. 366)
He then states that the ability to breathe through the nose is associated with the feeling of freedom. This is also important in school athletics. As a result, many love-shy children don’t breathe properly, and are left out from many team sports. Usually, this form of sinus congestion is genetic, and surgically treated.
Yes, I am a mouth breather, and my sinuses almost always feel completely congested, even when I'm not actually congested. Almost like the passageways or airways in my nose are swollen.
In Hans Eysenck's terms, they had a "melancholic" temperament.
Yes, and look no further than all the depressive suicidal black metal I listen to, or just the metal music in general that I listen to. "Melancholic" is a fair description.
A number of the men also had a difficult time being born and sometimes needed a c-section to be performed.
[4]
I do not believe this applied to me.
A minority of the younger love-shys had some feelings of optimism in getting their problems fixed while all of the older love-shys felt very pessimistic about their problems and also felt cynical about women and the world in general.
[4] The older men expressed more anger in their interviews while the younger men were calmer.
100% accurate assessment of me; I was a very hopeful youngster, and am a very cynical and bitter middle-aged adult.
Very few on either side delved into drugs or alcohol.
False. I use alcohol to cope daily, and use weed at least once weekly, also to cope. However, I did start late: my first alcoholic beverage I consumed at the age of 23, and I first consumed THC at the age of 29.
However, both had similar interests such as art and swimming.
Nope, I prefer science to art, and never actually learned how to swim.
The men had various degrees of sensitivity to things such as touch, taste, light, and other forms of stimuli. They tended to be more hypersensitive than the non-shy men.
100% accurate, but that's just a symptom of my Asperger's Syndrome. I used to get migraines all the time in grade school; I believe it was due to the fluorescent lighting.
Most of the love-shy men, but none of the non-shy men, reported never having
any friends; not even acquaintances. The vast majority of love-shy men reported being
bullied by children their own age due to their inhibitions and interests, while none of the non-shy men did, and love-shy men were less likely to fight back against bullies.
Eh, hit and miss. I have had no real friends; I have had "workplace friends," though very late in life; it first came about for me at the age of 25. I suppose technically they're acquaintances, but whatever. I was bullied, often for my interests, but just as often just for existing. And I did fight back against my bullies; I was always the one who got caught, and punished, while my bullies got away scot-free. The school administrators, and even my own parents, thought I was a "problem child."
Around half of the love-shy men reported being bullied or harassed as late as high school, while none of the non-shy men did.
Indeed, I was bullied all the way through Kindergarten to high school, and even my first two years of college.
Even as adults, the love-shy men reported remaining friendless and abused by other people.
Yes.
Love-shy men reported this lack of acceptance by others as causing them to feel excessively lonely and depressed.
Yes.
A huge portion of the men also suffered from physical abuse by their parents and often could not rely on them for emotional support. This also extended to their relatives and even as adults still could not rely on them for emotional support. It is possible that their parents' abuse and uncaring attitude to their son's emotions, desires and interests were responsible for part of their social inhibitions.
This is 100% accurate to me.
Don't have them, thank the fuck Christ.
Gilmartin's love-shy men were poorly-adjusted, as they were unhappy with their lives and high in rates of anxiety disorders, like social phobia, avoidant
personality disorder, body dysmorphic disorder,
[11] social anxiety disorder or other anxiety-related problems. He found that the love-shy men had considerably more violent fantasies, were very pessimistic and cynical about the world, were much more likely to believe that nobody cared about them, and were much more likely to have difficulties concentrating. He also found a tendency in some of the love-shy men to stare compulsively at women with whom they were infatuated
Most of the love-shy men reported experiencing frequent feelings of depression, loneliness and alienation. A small number of the men would often try to disassociate from reality through various means, including
addictions of various types or other kinds of escapist habits like excessive daydreaming or otherwise spending a lot of time in fantasy. Gilmartin noted that about 40% of the older love-shy men had seriously considered committing
suicide.
[1]
Nearly entirely true.
Gilmartin noted that the 100 older love-shy men studied were experiencing well above-average career instability. Even though almost all of these older love-shys had successfully completed higher education, their salaries were well below the US average. They were typically, if anything, underemployed and were working in minimum wage jobs such as taxi-driving and door-to-door canvassing. At the time of Gilmartin's research (1979–1982), 3.6% of college graduates in the USA were unemployed. Yet the older love-shy men had a disproportionate
unemployment rate of 16% because of their perceived bad past work experiences. As a result, all of the love-shy men were in the
lower middle class or lower.
[1]
I have indeed been suffering this, and have complained a lot lately on the forum about my inability to establish a career, despite my credentials, experience, and skills.
Among those who had obtained degrees in business, computer science, or engineering, the average was $21,163 ($54,600 in 2008 dollars).
During the rare instances I've actually managed to find employment in my field, this is surprisingly spot-on.
The older love-shy men all lived in apartments.
Nope, I live with my father. Though, if my mother was still alive, she probably would have dumped me into a halfway house somewhere in the ghetto, by now, as she threatened to do on many occasions.
According to Gilmartin, the love-shy tended to prefer vocal love ballads such as
Broadway theatre music, brassy jazz music, easy listening, film soundtracks and light classical music, but not traditional classical music. A few also mentioned having a strong liking for country and western. Rock music of almost every kind was disliked by the love-shy, but only on an aesthetic level, not on moral grounds. Gilmartin noted that surprisingly few of the love-shy men mentioned female singers.
Gilmartin concluded that the majority of love-shy men prefer music with emotional/escapist themes and rich, beautiful melody. As a result, love-shy males dislike music that is noisy, loud, dissonant or amelodic in their point of view. The non-shy men Gilmartin interviewed typically enjoyed rock music and would only buy rock albums. The music love-shys enjoyed was considered boring by most of the non-shy men.
This couldn't be more right, and more wrong, at the same time. I do enjoy listening to classical music, I have a fair few older jazz albums in my music collection that I listen to monthly, and I do enjoy country music, but the folksy kind, not the pop-country kind. But my favorite music by far, and the music I listen to most often by a significant margin, is metal music. And I do enjoy quite a bit of rock, too: namely, classic rock and 80's prog rock. Other subgenres of rock I despise, though, but not as much as rap.
I don't watch movies, nor do I watch TV, anymore, and haven't in years.
I guess take from all of that what you will.