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Serious I'm turning schizo as the days pass.

Sasukecel

Sasukecel

Living is torture.
★★★★
Joined
May 26, 2024
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It gets annoying complaining about the same thing, over and over again, and I should do something. But I can't get over the fact that I ruined my entire life with 1 mistake.

It wasn't even going on the call, because I could have gone on call with a different approach, and as a result not ruin my life. I could have left the call as soon as it became confrontational, the second he said "doesn't mean you have to get your fucking face cut open", I could have left the call there and then. I could have gone with a normal approach saying "I just want to hear your advice." I could have even gone with the surgery and when he said "You went on an incel website to get advice", I could have just said "I didn't know looksmax.org was an incel website. Ok, I'll talk to girls, bye" then leave the call. I've rewatched the same video hundreds of times, to the point where I've memorized the entire video by word. There were so many opportunities to leave the call, say something different, but I completely fucked it up, and as a result fucked up my life.

Before my life was still shit, true, but I would be in a lot more chill position. I wouldn't be a global public humiliation. I would just be an ugly kid, doing his university work, going to the gym, learning things on the side, doing some copes in my free time living a semi-normal life but that's not how things went so I'm turning schizo.

I think every single day for literal hours. I hate waking up in the morning. I developed a gore addiction. Yesterday, I was scrolling gore on reddit from 6 pm to 10 pm, then fell asleep afterwards. I can't recall a single moment of happiness since the video came out in July, and it's October. Everyday, I question why I didn't kill myself, and the reason why I came back and started making these posts is probably as another cope. I want the dopamine hit of getting responses because I now hide from the public, and I don't interact with my family. I think the reason why I like watching gore/shootings/stabbings/car crashes is because it's like an antidepressant, it calms my mind. I destroyed my entire life with a 5 minute call. It's hard to do anything productive at all whilst knowing I am a global public humiliation which gives me no motivation, meaning my goals will all fail. Living feels like psychological torture every single day, and as a result of the torture, I feel my personality changing from "jokey" to "edgy", "schizo", "misanthropic" but how can I not be if I'm a public humilation in front of millions and millions of people. I don't want to smile or be happy, I just want to live a serious and rage filled existence.
 
If you actually were, wouldn't you be unable to actually notice it?
 
notice how no one gives a shit about the video except you, writing 20 walls with text every day. people watch the vid and forget about it 2 mins later. watch some porn
 
i truly do empathize with you but at the same time why the fuck did you even go on there in the first place? all these redpill "coaches" are absolute scum
 
notice how no one gives a shit about the video except you, writing 20 walls with text every day. people watch the vid and forget about it 2 mins later. watch some porn
That's likely objectively true, but it still ruined my life, because I still am a public humilation. I'm probably turning crazy, I don't want to interact with my family, I want to hide from the public, I don't want to wake up in the morning, and every second of the day I think about how going on that livecall was the biggest mistake of my life.

I've rewatched that video so many times, I can say the start to the end word by word, because I memorized it. The views a week ago was 113k. 3 days ago, it was 114k. Now it's 115k. It fucks with my mind, the fact that more and more people are watching that video as the days go on. I am a global public humilation, living is psychological torture.
 
i truly do empathize with you but at the same time why the fuck did you even go on there in the first place? all these redpill "coaches" are absolute scum
I was coerced to go on by the members of the discord server.

In July, I got banned from .is, so I joined multiple websites and discord servers to pass the time. I started talking to the people in the Fitxfearless discord server, the next day, I was mass pinged by people saying "Go on call, go on call." I was a gullible autist, I complied. I went on the call, nervous as fuck, got publicly humilated, and that's how I'm in the situation I'm in now.
 
If you actually were, wouldn't you be unable to actually notice it?
I'm not fully crazy, but I know I'm turning more crazy as the time passes due to the signs

Yesterday, I watched gore for 4 hours in a row to calm myself down. I rewatched the Fitxfearless video so many times I've memorized it. I'm turning into a misantropic because I don't want family or friends. Every single day, all I can think about is how I ruined my life by going on that call. I don't smile anymore, I hide whenever I go in public.

If I told this to someone in real life, they would probably tell me to go to a therapist/psychiatrist, and I recognize that I share a lot of similarities with the people who go ER, but I'm not going to do any crimes. Every single day of living just feels like 24/7 psychological torture because I can't get over the fact that I was humilated for millions to see.
 
I'm not fully crazy, but I know I'm turning more crazy as the time passes due to the signs

Yesterday, I watched gore for 4 hours in a row to calm myself down. I rewatched the Fitxfearless video so many times I've memorized it. I'm turning into a misantropic because I don't want family or friends. Every single day, all I can think about is how I ruined my life by going on that call. I don't smile anymore, I hide whenever I go in public.

If I told this to someone in real life, they would probably tell me to go to a therapist/psychiatrist, and I recognize that I share a lot of similarities with the people who go ER, but I'm not going to do any crimes. Every single day of living just feels like 24/7 psychological torture because I can't get over the fact that I was humilated for millions to see.
You’ll just be locked up in a padded room and fed Jew pills. Let the hallucinations take over and lead you to your destiny
 
I got a porn addiction

The whole situation made me quit porn because my mind was so focused on how fucked my life was that I forgot to fap. I have a gore addiction because gore calms me down, if I watched porn, it would probably make me feel even worse
 
The whole situation made me quit porn because my mind was so focused on how fucked my life was that I forgot to fap. I have a gore addiction because gore calms me down, if I watched porn, it would probably make me feel even worse
I also addicted to sucicde videos on watch people die
 
I saw your fix vid on my Instagram reels yesterday. There was even a comment that mentioned your .is username
 
Living for me is psychological torture

You’ll just be locked up in a padded room and fed Jew pills. Let the hallucinations take over and lead you to your destiny
That's what I'm going to do. I'm not going to go to therapy. I'm going to accept the fact that I'm a global public humilation and refuse to go out in public. Everytime I'll go outside, I'll be undercover. I'll probably continue watching gore as a break, and I'll never be happy/laugh.

I'll hide from the public until my death. I want to be serious and militant. I know I'm going crazy, but I'll let myself go crazy, because it's the consequence of my unfair circumstances.
 
I saw your fix vid on my Instagram reels yesterday. There was even a comment that mentioned your .is username

That's to be expected because It's viral on all platforms, which is why I'll hide from the public

I also addicted to sucicde videos on watch people die
I used to watch GypsyCrusader clips on X
 
I just looked up the video since I no longer remembered it. It does have quite a few views, sure but I don't think it has the potential to ruin your life, unless you let it do so. If you get mentally stuck on the video, sure, it will continue affecting you.
Also, if you really got bullied in middle school, then that's the real problem. Bullying definitely is an issue that I also went through.
I hope your brother can perhaps help you in the future, plastic surgery is only a last resort for those who are legitimately deformed and you are not so it would be a waste of money in my opinion, especially if you barely interacted with girls. I have and it hasn't worked so far.
 
Being a schizo alone is not based lmao.You can be schizo (I think that those who aren’t schizos from there are somewhat fakecelish) but if you’re schizo alone and you don’t do anything with that, you’ll die unhappy so it doesn’t make sense.

You better join a neonazi group (if you’re white, sure) or grape foids idk but if you’re just angry, you’ll get sick and you’ll die more miserable than you are actually
 
Yes.They just exploit the energy and the resources of ugly, short, lonely men
Not necessarily all the time but it is true that a lot of pick-up advice is just shit
 
I have already become schizo.

I'm brutalized.
 
I just looked up the video since I no longer remembered it. It does have quite a few views, sure but I don't think it has the potential to ruin your life, unless you let it do so. If you get mentally stuck on the video, sure, it will continue affecting you.
Also, if you really got bullied in middle school, then that's the real problem. Bullying definitely is an issue that I also went through.
I hope your brother can perhaps help you in the future, plastic surgery is only a last resort for those who are legitimately deformed and you are not so it would be a waste of money in my opinion, especially if you barely interacted with girls. I have and it hasn't worked so far.
That's just the long form video. The shorts and reposts on youtube shorts, tiktok and instagram is 4 - 5 million views in total.

My life is already ruined, which is why I'm going to hide from the public, and everyone I know in real life views me as a global public humilation.
 
Being a schizo alone is not based lmao.You can be schizo (I think that those who aren’t schizos from there are somewhat fakecelish) but if you’re schizo alone and you don’t do anything with that, you’ll die unhappy so it doesn’t make sense.

You better join a neonazi group (if you’re white, sure) or grape foids idk but if you’re just angry, you’ll get sick and you’ll die more miserable than you are actually

I'm disadvantaged in every realm. I can't join a neo-nazi group because I'm a nigger. I don't want to grape or go ER because I don't want to commit crimes.

I will die unhappy because my life is ruined
 
You better join a neonazi group (if you’re white, sure) or grape foids idk but if you’re just angry, you’ll get sick and you’ll die more miserable than you are actually
Here we go again. Bringing up neonazies and graping is not really a wise thing if we are supposedly surrounded by agents, is it?
And besides, that is honestly just a deeper rabbit hole to get into, again, not wise.
 
That's just the long form video. The shorts and reposts on youtube shorts, tiktok and instagram is 4 - 5 million views in total.

My life is already ruined, which is why I'm going to hide from the public, and everyone I know in real life views me as a global public humilation.
Admittedly, you're right, I haven't looked at many of the shorts and whatnot. I'm not sure though if your looks stand out so much among blacks that you would be instantly recognized by a majority of people on some random streets.
 
That's likely objectively true, but it still ruined my life, because I still am a public humilation. I'm probably turning crazy, I don't want to interact with my family, I want to hide from the public, I don't want to wake up in the morning, and every second of the day I think about how going on that livecall was the biggest mistake of my life.

I've rewatched that video so many times, I can say the start to the end word by word, because I memorized it. The views a week ago was 113k. 3 days ago, it was 114k. Now it's 115k. It fucks with my mind, the fact that more and more people are watching that video as the days go on. I am a global public humilation, living is psychological torture.
it's not the video it's your mental health
 
What call? What the fuck is everyone talking about?
 
Watch FBI crime videos to underStand how they git Ebidence.
Joe Biden Smile GIF
 
What call? What the fuck is everyone talking about?
I publicly embarrassed myself in front of 4 - 5 million people by being coerced to go on a popular youtuber's livestream which he posted on all of the social media platform, then clip farming accounts reposted the video.

I'm now a public humilation, which feels like psychological torture and I know it's affecting me. I now refuse to go in public without being undercover.
 
I publicly embarrassed myself in front of 4 - 5 million people by being coerced to go on a popular youtuber's livestream which he posted on all of the social media platform, then clip farming accounts reposted the video.

I'm now a public humilation, which feels like psychological torture and I know it's affecting me. I now refuse to go in public without being undercover.
i see. At least now you know that was a mistake.

What were you thinking? What did u expect the outcome will be? Ofc its gona be negative for you.

Big mistake but you have nothing to do except forgetting about it and moving on.

Maybe ask yt and platforms to put it down since its some form of bullying?
 
That video on that channel you went on was fucking brutal i rarely feel empathy for people but i did for you tbh that Nigger tyrone is a fucking cunt
 
i see. At least now you know that was a mistake.

What were you thinking? What did u expect the outcome will be? Ofc its gona be negative for you.

Big mistake but you have nothing to do except forgetting about it and moving on.

Maybe ask yt and platforms to put it down since its some form of bullying?
The biggest mistake of my life.

It was a stupid decision, but I was 17, in summer break, coerced to go on by being mass pinged on discord to go on the call and a gullible idiot. I take accountability in which it's my fault, but I didn't know 5 minutes would ruin the entirety of my life.

Forgetting about it and moving on is similar to "just pretend you're not an incel because it's convenient." But reality is reality, I have to adapt so my plan is to go undercover and avoid the public for the rest of my life.
 
i truly do empathize with you but at the same time why the fuck did you even go on there in the first place? all these redpill "coaches" are absolute scum
He was young when he fell for it (and still is pretty young). Easier to be redpilled at a younger age than as you get older. Pretty sure we all had a redpill phase. I know I did, lol. I even got a lifelong gym injury because I was such a dumbass I fell for the gym cope that hard.
 
The biggest mistake of my life.

It was a stupid decision, but I was 17, in summer break, coerced to go on by being mass pinged on discord to go on the call and a gullible idiot. I take accountability in which it's my fault, but I didn't know 5 minutes would ruin the entirety of my life.

Forgetting about it and moving on is similar to "just pretend you're not an incel because it's convenient." But reality is reality, I have to adapt so my plan is to go undercover and avoid the public for the rest of my life.
Over for u inkel
 
He was young when he fell for it (and still is pretty young). Easier to be redpilled at a younger age than as you get older. Pretty sure we all had a redpill phase. I know I did, lol. I even got a lifelong gym injury because I was such a dumbass I fell for the gym cope that hard.
I was 17 when I went on the livecall, and I didn't acknowledge that there would be consequences of going on that call because I was a gullible dumbass.

When I was 16, I was redpilled, and I actually do believe the redpill works but there's a genetic prerequisite. You have to be at least 5/10 in looks, and NT. There's some normies who did self improvement and looksmaxxing and got results, but if you're an ugly, nonNT male, you just get mocked for it. That's why the blackpill is the truth. For some people, you can try hard and have it mean nothing. Others try hard and become successful. Potential comes down to genetics.
 
That video on that channel you went on was fucking brutal i rarely feel empathy for people but i did for you tbh that Nigger tyrone is a fucking cunt
Ruined my entire life, and now it will affect the entirety of my life.
 
I was 17 when I went on the livecall, and I didn't acknowledge that there would be consequences of going on that call because I was a gullible dumbass.

When I was 16, I was redpilled, and I actually do believe the redpill works but there's a genetic prerequisite. You have to be at least 5/10 in looks, and NT. There's some normies who did self improvement and looksmaxxing and got results, but if you're an ugly, nonNT male, you just get mocked for it. That's why the blackpill is the truth. For some people, you can try hard and have it mean nothing. Others try hard and become successful. Potential comes down to genetics.
Yeah, I don’t even hold it against you much since it’s easy to fall victim to scammers as a young and insanely desperate man. Plus you’re right that effort can sometimes work to a degree if you have the prerequisites
 
Over for u inkel
I'm not going to rope, but adapt.

I know that I'm a public humilation, I'm laughed at by all my classmates. I would be a dumbass to still try socialskillsmaxxing and getting their attention. So I'm still going to go to the gym, study, keep applying for Jobs, but for the rest of my life I'm going to be "hidden in real life, present online."

All of my old classmates saw the Fitxfearless video, so just don't interact with them. I'm an embarassment to the public, so go undercover in the public. That's the best way to "solve" this problem.
 
I'm not going to rope, but adapt.

I know that I'm a public humilation, I'm laughed at by all my classmates. I would be a dumbass to still try socialskillsmaxxing and getting their attention. So I'm still going to go to the gym, study, keep applying for Jobs, but for the rest of my life I'm going to be "hidden in real life, present online."

All of my old classmates saw the Fitxfearless video, so just don't interact with them. I'm an embarassment to the public, so go undercover in the public. That's the best way to "solve" this problem.
U need to change countries and identity and start over
 
U need to change countries and identity and start over
I want to hide from the public permanently.

It doesn't matter what Country I'm in, because the video still is up and viral. If I go to the USA, I'm still getting clowned on. The consequences of public humilation are permanent, so I'm going to avoid the public in general.
 

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