I
idfklma
Banned
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- Joined
- Aug 1, 2023
- Posts
- 2,820
As i was on a night walk alone listening 2 music through my headphones i got 2 thinking - what if this is really it? What if it never "gets better" so to speak, what if i never ascend? Would I rather live the remaining 80 or however many years I have left alone? Or would I rather kill myself?
And I had to choose the former option. I dont want to die. Despite inceldom im relatively happy. Have I gone through suicidal periods that last a few days before? Yes. Does it get lonely? Sometimes. Do I cry about it? Sometimes, and I definitely will in the future. But I like crying. I prefer sadness to non existence. I enjoy melancholy. I like the comfort in being sad, and the joy of the release.
I do not wish to die. I still have my family. I have many things I enjoy doing. I dont want to never see the sun again. I dont never want to see the trees again. And knowing that one day I will have to look upon this world one last time makes me choke up.
View: https://youtu.be/wJXJQfR0oOw?si=M8WdtVFY2IdMMQQp
And I had to choose the former option. I dont want to die. Despite inceldom im relatively happy. Have I gone through suicidal periods that last a few days before? Yes. Does it get lonely? Sometimes. Do I cry about it? Sometimes, and I definitely will in the future. But I like crying. I prefer sadness to non existence. I enjoy melancholy. I like the comfort in being sad, and the joy of the release.
I do not wish to die. I still have my family. I have many things I enjoy doing. I dont want to never see the sun again. I dont never want to see the trees again. And knowing that one day I will have to look upon this world one last time makes me choke up.
View: https://youtu.be/wJXJQfR0oOw?si=M8WdtVFY2IdMMQQp