Ignore this, this is just a rant to express my feelings. I don't want to upset anyone, I'm just suffering. 1) I wasn't born to exist. That's how I've always felt. I wasn't born for something as cruel, futile, and torturous as the ability to exist. Human existence has always been a burden to me, a terrible and harmful burden that only causes me pain. It has always been a struggle to exist as a conscious being destined to suffer infinitely, with no limit to the agony I can feel. It's simply not for me. I should never have existed and, more than anything, I wish I had never existed. Only the peace that non-existence can bring attracts me. I wish to die, but simply not existing is true perfection. It would be an enormous relief to die, because this existence for which I was never destined only torments me, and I find it hellish that painless methods of suicide are not available to me. If I could die without pain, I would have left this existence for which I was never destined a long time ago; only death can bring me peace. In my case, I wouldn't want to exist under any circumstances, because what bothers me is existence itself. I simply wasn't born for it, and I find it tragic to have to exist when, instead, I could be at peace for all eternity. My existence is just meaningless suffering, without reason or purpose. I wasn't born to suffer, I was born only for the peace of eternal nothingness. I am autista and I am very ugly.
