Women would prefer that all men's confidence were proportional to how attractive they found them. This essentially averages out to 80% of men having no confidence, being asexual and quiet, 15% of men being circumstantially confident depending on whether the woman likes them or is in the mood, and the top 5% of men always being confident, cocky, adventurous, etc.
I had a female friend who would say that men who complained about getting no attention from women only have themselves to blame because they never even try. However she would constantly complain about men she knew or celebrities she didn't find attractive having "unwarranted" confidence, and that she found it extremely grating when an ugly guy acted like he was cool or hot. She didn't even realize her hypocrisy until I pointed it out. To her, I imagine that her admonishing of unconfident men for not trying is just a way of projecting blame onto them rather than a consistent and reasoned criticism as to why they aren't romantically successful.
Saying that men would be more attractive if they were merely more confident is a double-bind. If a man accurately gauges that women don't generally find him attractive, and acts accordingly, and he complains of years of being lonely/not seen in any sexual light, he will be blamed for having no confidence, and that he never gives women the chance to see him in a sexual context. However if he were to act confidently in proportion to how he would like to be seen, he will be laughed at, excluded, considered "annoying", egotistical, creepy, etc.
The issue is, women LOVE men who are egotistical, cocky, confident, etc. but only if they're the kind of men who naturally provoke their sexual urges. Confidence is a misnomer in that case, it's rather "acting in a way that draws attention to yourself so more eyes are drawn to your naturally attractive qualities". A confident unattractive man will only draw attention to his unattractive qualities, so all "confidence" does is highlight where he comes up short.
I had a female friend who would say that men who complained about getting no attention from women only have themselves to blame because they never even try. However she would constantly complain about men she knew or celebrities she didn't find attractive having "unwarranted" confidence, and that she found it extremely grating when an ugly guy acted like he was cool or hot. She didn't even realize her hypocrisy until I pointed it out. To her, I imagine that her admonishing of unconfident men for not trying is just a way of projecting blame onto them rather than a consistent and reasoned criticism as to why they aren't romantically successful.
Saying that men would be more attractive if they were merely more confident is a double-bind. If a man accurately gauges that women don't generally find him attractive, and acts accordingly, and he complains of years of being lonely/not seen in any sexual light, he will be blamed for having no confidence, and that he never gives women the chance to see him in a sexual context. However if he were to act confidently in proportion to how he would like to be seen, he will be laughed at, excluded, considered "annoying", egotistical, creepy, etc.
The issue is, women LOVE men who are egotistical, cocky, confident, etc. but only if they're the kind of men who naturally provoke their sexual urges. Confidence is a misnomer in that case, it's rather "acting in a way that draws attention to yourself so more eyes are drawn to your naturally attractive qualities". A confident unattractive man will only draw attention to his unattractive qualities, so all "confidence" does is highlight where he comes up short.
