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whole life story + how its being an incel

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SilentIncel202

Greycel
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the more i think about my life the more i realize it was wayy worse than i remember it , i was so innocent as a kid.


> got kicked out of my first school because i never sat in one place and always doodled sponge bob & doremon in my books.

joined a new school , the little i remember my mom & dad jus said i was naughty and dumb to the principal
they wanted me to go down one grade so i would pass . their though process at the time was i might have adhd or something (got tested i dont)
the teachers were supper kind , 1st grade was the only place where i have pleasant memories of . no one judges you.

i guess i passed but still sucked never listened much.

one of my main memories was getting lost in the admin wing during lunch break and somewhere in some sort of teacher training area.
> ( the school used to have a school + an certification prog for teachers)

i met the principle for the first time , she was so kind legit talked to me for 20 mins and sort of like a friend.
i sorta made like 3 friends that year ( i never had friends b4 for ctx )

and thats where the good stuff ends... now that i think about it and understood stuff evverything people told me sounds way worse

as usual the teachers were super kind , but these kid idk lets called him `x`. bullied the fuck out of me even once punched me in the face and made me bleed
after this point most kids called me a black monkey cus my skin was dark

i never really talked to anyone this year i jus played on my own, the only friends i managed to make was in my apartment layout with a few girls and most of parents prob thhought i was a fucking weirdo ( which i am i guess )

and then shit got more and more dark , no one really talked to me.

4th wasnt my worst year but it wasnt my best either. most kids in my class were girls ( i was the only guy ) ( by this point it had been a year i never talked to anyone apartment or school )

tho my grades did improve ( till 4th)
it seems according to my report card i got 100% in all subjects in 4th

they prob showed pity towards me and though i was an idiotic nerd ( prob was )

then 5th grade was prob my worst year i guess

the classes were much larger in size the teachers were wayy less kinder
i lost most of confidence and sorta gave up from here,
legit got bullied by guys and girls

my most ptsd moment was prob when a bunch of girls legit sorta acting like i carried some flu or treated me like some untouchable ( ofcourse i was the only guy with dark skin in my whole grade ) still haunts me to this day , by this point my grades were close to failing

6th was a bit better i guess i made my first set of real friends , i guess i had fun this year , ofcourse most people still talked so much shit about me and called me a black ass etc but i never really gave a shit after 5th about anything ,

then we moved places because of my mom`s job

left my school , and things become worse from bad

no one talked to me even i tried , everyone avoided me and though of me as inferior because of my ugly face and i sorta gained weight at this point because i never went out.

at this point i tried to kill myself thrice my trying to jump of my balany my mom saw me i jus laughed and acted like an immature kid and she still thinks i was an immature kid back then

worst part the guy who punched me back in 2nd left around 4th and found out he was in my new school he wasnt the bully he was back then but a saint by no means

my marks sucked ass most people prob felt sad for me if anything and guys legit pocked me in my bus with the whole ` you should use fair n lovely ` implying im a girl and im a black ass

then i sorta wanted to get into a relationship at this point just wanted a gf to talk iv never really been the horny kid or shit
never felt the urge other kids did maybe because im a loner or something

then i sorta jus existed for the next 3 years m****ting to porn
i grew jealous of seeing kids of lower grades living the childhood that i never got , getting into a semi serious relationship getting attention

i sort of wanted a gf in 9th and was prob the closest iv been most of my classmates at this point atleast had one
i met this girl on the last day of 9th was a bozo idiot loner ( just like me )
she cried all the time

sorta felt this connection liked her never told her i did because im not sure idk why i never even talked to her maybe its my fault i dont know i hate myself for it

and then i changed schools cus only till 10th

new school and i dont talk most guys think im high btw the way my face looks i dont really talk to anyone much except a few times one of the popular kid legit jus feels sad for me and talks to me looking my state

according to my mom she had to try 3 times to get a kid i guess there was a reason , i wasnt meant to be born i really do wish man i really wish

i jus hate my life thinking bout all the times my dad and mom shouted at me and called me good for nothing and useless having no friends no gfs no girls i cant even really see porn anymore all i see is jealousy of how nice the porn stars life must be .

maybe being innocent is much better i dont think i would have survived if i really understand what people though of me back in 5-1st

the black is fucking real im gonna be a brown ass ugly shit with a micro penis idiot who cant even jack of porn stars without being jealous of their life of having a shit ton of friends guys and money
 
Last edited:
Deleted member 42309

Deleted member 42309

Genetically Deformed.
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Are you a curry?
How old are you?
 
sub human

sub human

the wizard of loneliness
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Dude how fucking old are you wtf is this this public school drama have your balls even dropped yet :lul:
 
Intellau_Celistic

Intellau_Celistic

5'3 KHHV Mentalcel
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the more i think about my life the more i realize it was wayy worse than i remember it , i was so innocent as a kid.

Nothing new. Lacking validation for your problems, you simply repressed your history.

> got kicked out of my first school because i never sat in one place and always doodled sponge bob & doremon in my books.

I couldn't understand social cues well in my first elementary school.

Details


one of my main memories was getting lost in the admin wing during lunch break and somewhere in some sort of teacher training area.

This has always happened to me. I was sluggish.

after this point most kids called me a black monkey cus my skin was dark

In my second school, I was insulted by other children daily. They insulted my glasses, kicked me(I spoke to the principal over a certain boy named Vincent). I'd give my food to other children who hardly interacted with me. My "friend" started spending time with NTs, leaving me to stroll the playground alone. A young White male started hitting me and pushed me into the snow shortly before I switched to home-schooling(Our teacher pulled him off).

i never really talked to anyone this year i jus played on my own, the only friends i managed to make was in my apartment layout with a few girls and most of parents prob thhought i was a fucking weirdo ( which i am i guess )

and then shit got more and more dark , no one really talked to me.

4th wasnt my worst year but it wasnt my best either. most kids in my class were girls ( i was the only guy ) ( by this point it had been a year i never talked to anyone apartment or school )

There were children in my neighborhood, yet I couldn't socialize well with them. An older sibling of one of them started denigrating me as soon as I walked inside their home due to my anxious, autistic dissociation. They kicked me out, and I sat alone near my home.

I'll post more later.
 
Intellau_Celistic

Intellau_Celistic

5'3 KHHV Mentalcel
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then i sorta wanted to get into a relationship at this point just wanted a gf to talk iv never really been the horny kid or shit
never felt the urge other kids did maybe because im a loner or something

then i sorta jus existed for the next 3 years m****ting to porn
i grew jealous of seeing kids of lower grades living the childhood that i never got , getting into a semi serious relationship getting attention

i sort of wanted a gf in 9th and was prob the closest iv been most of my classmates at this point atleast had one
i met this girl on the last day of 9th was a bozo idiot loner ( just like me )
she cried all the time

sorta felt this connection liked her never told her i did because im not sure idk why i never even talked to her maybe its my fault i dont know i hate myself for it

and then i changed schools cus only till 10th

new school and i dont talk most guys think im high btw the way my face looks i dont really talk to anyone much except a few times one of the popular kid legit jus feels sad for me and talks to me looking my state

When I was fifteen in 2013, I was in a group therapy program:

Our story begins in 2013. Intellau was 15, and Shannon was 12. It's a story of inequality in group therapy.

I was an anxious fifteen-year-old with MDD and GAD. Each day, I was filled with crippling anxiety/"hazy depression" and would often start "shaking" on the way to group therapy. They gave me stress balls so I would stop fidgeting with my hands during therapy time. Still, the group psychologist considered me "NT" and often criticized me for my failure to make eye contact with other people in the room/failure to speak to other group youth(Social cue problems).


Shannon Rose Bosanac was a twelve-year-old with "social anxiety" and "depression". During group therapy, I was told to speak to Shannon, which was ignored because she preferred a taller, older boy over me and sat near him daily. The psychologists eventually switched Shannon to another group out of concern for her "progress"(They believed I was "negatively influencing" her by behaving in accordance with my illnesses); Shannon would mimic my neuro-atypical gestures to get attention.

Interesting given Shannon had little issue chatting with friends/associates outside of group therapy.

Note that I had no friends or associates outside of group therapy and yet was being asked to pander to a pretty White lass with shallow thinking. This was during a time when I was being verbally and physically abused by one of my parents for being unable to function like NTs.

I was extremely anxious in school despite receiving high test results, so I was unable to properly socialize with teachers and other students.


1653319917169


1653319956057


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according to my mom she had to try 3 times to get a kid i guess there was a reason , i wasnt meant to be born i really do wish man i really wish

i jus hate my life thinking bout all the times my dad and mom shouted at me and called me good for nothing and useless having no friends no gfs no girls i cant even really see porn anymore all i see is jealousy of how nice the porn stars life must be .

maybe being innocent is much better i dont think i would have survived if i really understand what people though of me back in 5-1st

the black is fucking real im gonna be a brown ass ugly shit with a micro penis idiot who cant even jack of porn stars without being jealous of their life of having a shit ton of friends guys and money

Let me show you my own:

Yes. Mother suffers from narcolepsy and would grab me if I woke her up by dropping items while fidgeting. This meant being grabbed very forcefully by the neck and having the item repeatedly shoved in my face to demonstrate the embarrassment she would have if someone saw me doing it.

My father would hit me if I didn't get dressed quickly enough. He also told me I was shameful for having so much anxiety.

My father would laugh at my fidgeting behavior when I was a young child.

 
InMemoriam

InMemoriam

SzPDcel
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Manifesto when sir?
 

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