Due to alleged financial problems that my family was going through, I was put in a rough kindergarten (joint between kindergarten level and 1st grade) and unfortunately without the proper development and due to my appearance (very short and ugly) the kids on the 1st grade bullied me, sometimes kicks to the legs and torso, but I've even been kicked in the teeth/lips, by kids who are taller than me (unsurprisingly so, since they're 1st graders). This marked the beginning of my financial cuckoldry.
The staff there said I was not prepared to go to 1st grade, but my parents, being impulsive, forced me in. From 1st to 6th grade, the money-related problems were evident. The food my parents gave me was the cheapest saturated fats/processed carbs poison they could find, so that FURTHER hindered my development, and I got in pre-obesity really fucking quickly. Wore absolutely horrible clothing (the clothing would not fit my body because it was all donated, and some of the donations like bright green and orange shorts caused the bullying to get worse). The health problems became very apparent here - couldn't sleep properly (giving me dark bags under the eyes), had scoliosis, and always hunched back. I also couldn't breathe properly, but nobody believed me, and my mom only took me to generalist doctors (my dad didn't give a single fuck). No money to go out with friends either (although they weren't really my friends anyway). Whenever other family members gave me a bit of money, my mom would steal that money.
Then 7th grade came, the same problems. There was this tall beautiful girl I met, and we got along neutrally, but when 8th and 9th grade came, that's when puberty hit (14 years old). I started looking at her silhouette sexually and I couldn't deal with it. She ended up dating the other boys in the class - more athletic, more attractive and of course wealthier. While this was happening my father sunk our family money in two ways: he cheated on my mother with prostitutes and married women - including married women with kids. This involved gifts to these women and (indirectly) their kids - @nouc these are my father's "questionable outlets" I mentioned in your thread a while ago. This resulted in me not having any money for activities, no money for clothes, good food, healthcare etc. I didn't even have a fucking bike. When he did it near my mother's birthday, my mother finally confronted him. Instead of apologizing, he threatened to kick her out. He also built houses that he was not able to sell, incurring debt.
Highschool was more of the same shit. I was always asked by my peers "why don't you know how to do X, why didn't you do Y? what the fuck is wrong with you". They didn't believe it was related to money, or coming from a dysfunctional family, so I took the full blame for everything.
In college, I picked STEM because I erroneously though people would be less superficial and appreciate my efforts. No. Nobody wanted to make group projects with me, even AFTER showing my competence in programming and software development in general. That situation only got sorted around the 3rd year of college, but by that time I was exhausted. Studies took their toll and I fell into the black hole of lack of sleep, antidepressants and ansiolitics, and had to go to therapy regularly for the first time in my life. I was forced by my parents to get the driving license.... this means I was driving under the influence of these medications (in addition to the undiagnosed health problems), with absolutely horrible side effects. I passed the driving exam on my 3rd time but to this day I'm not a good driver (In fact I don't drive for years now).
Later that year - 2015, I was 21 - I left my parents house to live in the dorms at university, because in addition to forcing me to drive, my parents were throwing my food away, stealing my money from the drawer when I was not present, and hiding my exercise equipment. But this time it was much worse, because the money was really from my own work - I was a researcher at uni, and I earned a monthly research grant. When I was done with MSc, I weighed 120kg. My father told me I was fat and that I should look in the mirror and be ashamed of the fact I was fat (even though he's morbidly obese himself). My mother asked me for money.
When I got my first job at the private sector, I was exploited to the bone. Was paid below market value, boss ignored the fact I had a masters degree (even said it in a mocking manner, that he didn't know, even though it was clearly stated in the CV). Second job I was exploited once again, gained a bit of weight but also enlisted to a gym so it kind of got controlled (went from 110kg to 65kg, then balanced it out to 75kg). 2020 was horrible, especially after the pandemic started - the corporate propaganda reached the stratosphere, we engineers were given management tasks without pay adjustment. I am now earning a better salary elsewhere, but I'm still aware of how horrible the IT industry is for my health, and I'm not getting the 5 years I've been exploited back.
So this means I was poor for a total of 29 years. I do not wish this outcome on even my worst enemy.
The staff there said I was not prepared to go to 1st grade, but my parents, being impulsive, forced me in. From 1st to 6th grade, the money-related problems were evident. The food my parents gave me was the cheapest saturated fats/processed carbs poison they could find, so that FURTHER hindered my development, and I got in pre-obesity really fucking quickly. Wore absolutely horrible clothing (the clothing would not fit my body because it was all donated, and some of the donations like bright green and orange shorts caused the bullying to get worse). The health problems became very apparent here - couldn't sleep properly (giving me dark bags under the eyes), had scoliosis, and always hunched back. I also couldn't breathe properly, but nobody believed me, and my mom only took me to generalist doctors (my dad didn't give a single fuck). No money to go out with friends either (although they weren't really my friends anyway). Whenever other family members gave me a bit of money, my mom would steal that money.
Then 7th grade came, the same problems. There was this tall beautiful girl I met, and we got along neutrally, but when 8th and 9th grade came, that's when puberty hit (14 years old). I started looking at her silhouette sexually and I couldn't deal with it. She ended up dating the other boys in the class - more athletic, more attractive and of course wealthier. While this was happening my father sunk our family money in two ways: he cheated on my mother with prostitutes and married women - including married women with kids. This involved gifts to these women and (indirectly) their kids - @nouc these are my father's "questionable outlets" I mentioned in your thread a while ago. This resulted in me not having any money for activities, no money for clothes, good food, healthcare etc. I didn't even have a fucking bike. When he did it near my mother's birthday, my mother finally confronted him. Instead of apologizing, he threatened to kick her out. He also built houses that he was not able to sell, incurring debt.
I did meet one of these other families. When I met them, I had no idea my father was involved with that family's matriarch, so I was in good terms with them.
One of the first things I noticed is that the boys and girls in this family were taller than me, despite us having more or less the same age. One thing I always wondered, is if my dad was looking for surrogate sons, because he also used to hang out with the sons of his friends (those sons also taller and more capable than me). He clearly couldn't bond with me due to my poor genetics and illnesses, so maybe that's what he resorted to. I cannot fully confirm this, and I'm not sure if I have the means to do it.
One of the first things I noticed is that the boys and girls in this family were taller than me, despite us having more or less the same age. One thing I always wondered, is if my dad was looking for surrogate sons, because he also used to hang out with the sons of his friends (those sons also taller and more capable than me). He clearly couldn't bond with me due to my poor genetics and illnesses, so maybe that's what he resorted to. I cannot fully confirm this, and I'm not sure if I have the means to do it.
Highschool was more of the same shit. I was always asked by my peers "why don't you know how to do X, why didn't you do Y? what the fuck is wrong with you". They didn't believe it was related to money, or coming from a dysfunctional family, so I took the full blame for everything.
In college, I picked STEM because I erroneously though people would be less superficial and appreciate my efforts. No. Nobody wanted to make group projects with me, even AFTER showing my competence in programming and software development in general. That situation only got sorted around the 3rd year of college, but by that time I was exhausted. Studies took their toll and I fell into the black hole of lack of sleep, antidepressants and ansiolitics, and had to go to therapy regularly for the first time in my life. I was forced by my parents to get the driving license.... this means I was driving under the influence of these medications (in addition to the undiagnosed health problems), with absolutely horrible side effects. I passed the driving exam on my 3rd time but to this day I'm not a good driver (In fact I don't drive for years now).
Later that year - 2015, I was 21 - I left my parents house to live in the dorms at university, because in addition to forcing me to drive, my parents were throwing my food away, stealing my money from the drawer when I was not present, and hiding my exercise equipment. But this time it was much worse, because the money was really from my own work - I was a researcher at uni, and I earned a monthly research grant. When I was done with MSc, I weighed 120kg. My father told me I was fat and that I should look in the mirror and be ashamed of the fact I was fat (even though he's morbidly obese himself). My mother asked me for money.
When I got my first job at the private sector, I was exploited to the bone. Was paid below market value, boss ignored the fact I had a masters degree (even said it in a mocking manner, that he didn't know, even though it was clearly stated in the CV). Second job I was exploited once again, gained a bit of weight but also enlisted to a gym so it kind of got controlled (went from 110kg to 65kg, then balanced it out to 75kg). 2020 was horrible, especially after the pandemic started - the corporate propaganda reached the stratosphere, we engineers were given management tasks without pay adjustment. I am now earning a better salary elsewhere, but I'm still aware of how horrible the IT industry is for my health, and I'm not getting the 5 years I've been exploited back.
So this means I was poor for a total of 29 years. I do not wish this outcome on even my worst enemy.
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