The Enforcer
Not fit to survive
★★★★★
- Joined
- Jul 25, 2021
- Posts
- 7,000
- Online time
- 3m
Should be routes for you if you're worried about academic stuff. Fuck school tbh. If you can find something that interests you, see if you can get some qualifications in that. At the very least it might be something to occupy yourself with. See what comes with it and whatnot.I am 5'7, I feel like my entire life is over just by that alone. I have basically no future since I was too autistic too get good grades in school. I struggle to get friends and the ones I do have I am always overshadowed, I feel like a loser even in my own friendgroup. I have no talents even if I put countless hours in, no matter how hard I try I can't even come up to an average level. I struggle a lot with jealousy, I get jealous extremely easily and it destroys my relationships with people, I can't even count the amount of people I have lost due to it. I try to cope with drugs and shit but it makes me feel shit as well. Nothing works, I just rot. I feel like I have no one to talk to about my problems, never, and when I do it just drives people away. I just want a best friend since I have never had one, well I have but the feelings have never been mutual with anyone. If people can't even like me enough to be their best friend I can't even begin to imagine a girl liking me. My life is over and I am a jealous loser.
I get jealousy. It's brutal. I dont know why people shame rejects or disaffected people for being jealous. It's understandable why one would be in such a fucked up situation. I'd do anything to have the life that regular people have. Drugs work fine for me, best things in existence for me, but I know they dont really seem to work for everyone. Hopefully you can find something that does though.
I'm much the same with all the friends/gf stuff. I know it'll never happen for me. Sadly I understand that making 1 friend isn't just that. People make out like it's just gaining the approval of one person but i never is. You have to also have the approval of (most of) that person social circle and friends too. If thats not the case then they're sadly not going to be very willing to spend their time on you. In my experience if there's a girl in that group at all, I've no chance. Even the friends I had years ago ended up being effectively banned from hanging out with me by their eventual girlfriends because they thought I "looked like a freak"... It's an absolute sabotage.





