Over the past year or more, since I initially started tulpamaxxing(if I can call it that, given me creating a character who already exists because I didn't even initially realize what I was doing), I've had some pretty strange experiences. At first it was just subtle things, especially when I wasn't even aware of what I was doing, as in a slight worsening of my already present feeling of unreality, but now everyday I keep wondering when I'm going to wake up. It's as if by creating my own experiences, I've come to realize just how ridiculous and absurd my life really is, actually it's gotten to the point where the world that I intentionally created feels more genuine than the physical one.
Additionally I have to be more careful with what I choose to think about and focus on, disturbing ideas and things can manifest as intrusive thoughts which now disturb me far more than they otherwise would. Imagine trying to talk to your waifu with one of your bullies standing next to you, or some shit from a horror movie, not fun.
However everything else has worked quite well and it's very comforting to me overall.
Additionally I have to be more careful with what I choose to think about and focus on, disturbing ideas and things can manifest as intrusive thoughts which now disturb me far more than they otherwise would. Imagine trying to talk to your waifu with one of your bullies standing next to you, or some shit from a horror movie, not fun.
However everything else has worked quite well and it's very comforting to me overall.
