whenever i fantasize or when i watch porn (mostly solo cam stuff) in my mind i'm another person altogether, not even an idealized version of myself, as literally cannot fathom of a single life scenario where i end up having sex, even if i hit the lottery so i could betabuxx my body is so frail and deformed that the idea of me having sex is unappealing, i've also had terribly crooked teeth my whole life so i can't imagine kissing would feel very nice.
