I'm always waking up in the night and going back to sleep, when i finally decide to wake up i'm still extremely tired. I woke up and i immediately felt lost no sense of purpose a complete lack of identity. OCD acting up in the worst way possible. I went to the gym yesterday there was this cute girl there I tried working out beside her and she didn't notice me like a ghost i don't exist to any of these people. not even a fucking glance. I went to masturbate in the shower but thoughts of my situation just started to overflowed me and i just fucking sat in the shower and started crying. It feels like the same shit every day and endless cycle nothing changes and nothing gets better, I can't even escape into video games cause i no longer find much joy from them, if i do it's only for brief moments. I'm so alone and i feel crushed under this shitty society. The Canadian government is threatening to shutdown my only outlet, the only people that are truly understanding of my situation under the guise of stopping hate. It's never felt as over for me then today.
