TL/DR: read text in green.
To be socially (and sexually) acceptable as cis hetero guys, we have to present ourselves to others fitting into a narrow set of traits, like never showing weakness, being hyperagents (a.k.a. being confident) in most situations, having looks that are barely under our performative control (having reached certain height, good physiognomy, not being bald, having a correct frame... except, to some extent, having an athletic physique if your genes aren't against you), etc.
Why do we act the way we act as men? Some will say P A T R I A R C H Y®: it’s because we learn it from other men, whether it is from our fathers, our friends, media, etc. We do learn it from them indeed, it's not merely biological. But why do the people we learn those things from behave like that to begin with? Because their main goal is getting laid. In other words: the code of conduct called “masculinity” should not be broken, under penalty of being disliked by women (or society in general, which is a way of pursuing female validation indirectly). The problem is that it is really hard to not break such code, hence, it’s fragile.
Think about gays. Why are a good deal of them openly less “masculine” (or more feminine) in some traits? Because such behavior isn’t accompanied by sexual withdrawal from the sex they are interested in: other gay men. They will still have plenty of people to have intimacy with.
Some (technically homophobic?) hetero cis men ask themselves or others if doing or saying X, Y, Z is gay (not masculine). Does it make a bit more sense now? And before any lurkers/bluepillers get outraged: no, I never say such things myself nor I have any problem with gay folks.
Hetero cis men, by definition, want the sexual approval of women. For that, they have to fit into women’s standards, so they have to act a certain way. So women/feminists laugh at fragile masculinity because they think it comes from us, but it comes from women’s standards. When they signal or laugh at how fragile masculinity is, they are actually signaling/laughing at how hard to attain their own standards/expectations are.
Masculinity is fragile for heterosexual guys because women’s standards are fragile. Don’t let them dehumanize us with their fragile idea of what masculinity should be.
And this message isn’t only for you, gentlemen. This goes for every heterosexual cis guy out there.
To be socially (and sexually) acceptable as cis hetero guys, we have to present ourselves to others fitting into a narrow set of traits, like never showing weakness, being hyperagents (a.k.a. being confident) in most situations, having looks that are barely under our performative control (having reached certain height, good physiognomy, not being bald, having a correct frame... except, to some extent, having an athletic physique if your genes aren't against you), etc.
Why do we act the way we act as men? Some will say P A T R I A R C H Y®: it’s because we learn it from other men, whether it is from our fathers, our friends, media, etc. We do learn it from them indeed, it's not merely biological. But why do the people we learn those things from behave like that to begin with? Because their main goal is getting laid. In other words: the code of conduct called “masculinity” should not be broken, under penalty of being disliked by women (or society in general, which is a way of pursuing female validation indirectly). The problem is that it is really hard to not break such code, hence, it’s fragile.
Think about gays. Why are a good deal of them openly less “masculine” (or more feminine) in some traits? Because such behavior isn’t accompanied by sexual withdrawal from the sex they are interested in: other gay men. They will still have plenty of people to have intimacy with.
Some (technically homophobic?) hetero cis men ask themselves or others if doing or saying X, Y, Z is gay (not masculine). Does it make a bit more sense now? And before any lurkers/bluepillers get outraged: no, I never say such things myself nor I have any problem with gay folks.
Hetero cis men, by definition, want the sexual approval of women. For that, they have to fit into women’s standards, so they have to act a certain way. So women/feminists laugh at fragile masculinity because they think it comes from us, but it comes from women’s standards. When they signal or laugh at how fragile masculinity is, they are actually signaling/laughing at how hard to attain their own standards/expectations are.
Masculinity is fragile for heterosexual guys because women’s standards are fragile. Don’t let them dehumanize us with their fragile idea of what masculinity should be.
And this message isn’t only for you, gentlemen. This goes for every heterosexual cis guy out there.