Is there anything in life, like a goal or fundamental interest that mobilizes you and makes it worth it and tolerable to be outside your comfort zone?

[Deleted member 7448]

As I was sitting there in an almost fetal position, contemplating existence and my life after yet another day of mindlessly laying in bed with my laptop next to me, I started wondering why I lived my life the way I did.

Long story, read it or don't, whatever. For me this is like a blog or journal where I vent, reflect and contemplate.

And the way I lived my life is very weird. I literally retreated to my absolute comfort zone as much as possible. I lived my entire life, not that far from 30 years, literally rotting in bed in front of a screen in my room. 16 hours a day most days. Doing what is the closest thing to being asleep while still awake - in bed watching the same shit over and over, browsing the same sites over and over, playing the same games that require low interactivity, over and over. And I tried to maximize that escapism and comfort zone as much as possible. In school, the moment I got there I'd wish I was home, I'd even say that out loud jokingly and people would laugh sometimes. So I played on my phone or did whatnot to be in a comfort zone even while in school/uni.

Hell, as old as I am I'm still unemployed and still studying, also inevitably as a way to maximize my comfort zone. The first time I was in uni I became an alcoholic, locked up in my room drinking daily. That was turbo comfortable (although it ruined my life and my parent's lives in 50 different ways), I liked it so much I kept doing it and skipping classes until I dropped out. Just cause it was so comfortable. I even chose majors that were comfortable, easy shit that is pointless for a career, but where I could get good grades without really studying because the classes were just that easy.

Anyway, I kinda lost my train of thought. The point is, I maximize my comfort, to the point of literally rotting, even to this day. I've gotten to such a point of laziness and avoiding anything uncomfortable that even going outside is stressful. Hell, even changing a tiny element of my routine of rotting is stressful and anxiety-inducing. I'd love it if it materialized out of thin air, but putting in the gargantuan amount of work and suffering required to get it is something that just makes me want to rot and avoid it altogether.

But, this kind of hedonism is not very satisfying. Sure, theoretically if I had money without moving a muscle and working on it, a hedonist lifestyle would be pleasant till the grave. But otherwise, this shitty and lazy form of hedonism ain't doing it for me any more.

And finally, getting to the point of all this. There's no alternative to this hedonism of rotting and not going out of my comfort zone. Because I have no interests, no passions, no goals. Nothing that would make it worth it for me to actually mobilize and endure the suffering of being outside of my comfort zone. Any desire or goal that I can imagine is very childish like doing pleasant things and avoiding unpleasant things, more of a desire to avoid something, like not wanting to work, not wanting pain or suffering, for me or my parents.

Of course, reality will come knocking and I'll be pulled out of my comfort zone a bit. Soon I'll have to get a shitty low-pay job. I was lucky enough to still not have a job at this age. Thought I'll still continue to do what I did. It will be much harder to be in this comfort zone of rotting while at a job, but as with school and uni, when I'm done I'll rush straight home and continue rotting. Rinse and repeat for a few decades, I don't see myself changing. My brain has changed into something that doesn't see the point in anything, so there's no way I'll be able to discipline myself into doing anything but rotting. Even at work, if it's something that doesn't demand too much attention (hopefully), I'll try to slack off as much as possible.

End of the shitty blog post I guess. Idk, I really tried to come up with an answer of what I want in this life, I really thought about it. Something that would make me change my ways and go out and actually live life and stop fucking rotting and growing older while not experiencing life at all. And I just couldn't, there's no interests I have in life, no goals. There's plenty of things I don't want to happen in this life, and the few things that I do want to happen are vague and childish shit like having money without working for it.

P.S: Ohh right, I guess most people would say women or pussy or something. Idk, that's not enough for me to be able to stop rotting. The juice ain't worth the squeeze, or in other words, changing my life so fundamentally and facing the suffering of being outside my comfort zone is impossible with the goal of getting a girlfriend/wife in mind. I must be low T or something, it just doesn't mobilize me at all. It's like with money, I'd love to have money, but I'd much rather avoid the work.

 

[guaucel]

But think about the children with progeria bro. U can be as happy and strong as them bro

 

[B.O.G.A.R.T.]

at your rate of ldaring you are nearing the state of aphanisis, a total lost of desire, which is worse than physical impotence. Don't even be naive to think that losing apetite after women will set an incel free from stress, the state you will be entering is a melancholic abys of nothingness except for fast food and piss bottles.

 

[Deleted member 7448]

at your rate of ldaring you are nearing the state of aphanisis, a total lost of desire, which is worse than physical impotence. Don't even be naive to think that losing apetite after women will set an incel free from stress, the state you will be entering is a melancholic abys of nothingness except for fast food and piss bottles.

Idk, I'm probably at that point or at least close to it, but I'd much rather be at that point than have to wageslave. But reality doesn't give a shit, it imposes its will on you.

 

[RedIce]

I've lost all sense of purpose during my first year in uni. During that time, I found it extremely difficult to focus on school work, and process my thoughts. At first I thought it was because I was being lazy, but then I realized that no matter how late I stayed up to study it didn't lead anywhere. Throughout that time, I kept on dropping classes because I couldn't focus on the work, this cycle lasted for about 3 years, and I am still struggling with uni to this day.

However, I didn't have the same issues with work, I guess because it was a simple retail job, and I did't need he same willpower required for uni. I think the reason why I stayed for so long in that awful job, was because I wanted to distract myself from my failings in life, namely uni, and social life.

At the end, I think it all comes down to having the willpower and determination to do the things that you want to do, but that is not easy to come by when you know you will always be alone in life.

 

[Deleted member 8353]

My brain has changed into something that doesn't see the point in anything, so there's no way I'll be able to discipline myself into doing anything but rotting.

This is relatable. Often I'll try to make myself do something, for instance learn something new, but I can never be consistent because I can't find a single good reason to do much of anything. Whatever energy I have is spent just doing daily upkeep stuff, and tulpamaxxing. Everything seems to be such a drain on me, even maintaining my body and doing basic work in and around the house feels like it takes a massive amount of effort. I fucking long for death, but I just can't make myself do that to my parents, so I try to focus on making sure I feel okay while they're alive. A lot of times I have to force myself to even play a video game or something, otherwise I'll spend hours just thinking myself to the edge of madness.

I've steadily lost most of my energy and motivation for life since I was a teenager tbh.

 

[Lame Dude]

Because I have no interests, no passions, no goals.

Frankly, I dont remember where I read this, but here you go: Contrary to popular belief, passion comes after competency in a subject. You dont magically end up passionate in something. Whats more, professional cooks prefer to eat fast food at home.

 

[Deleted member 7448]

This is relatable. Often I'll try to make myself do something, for instance learn something new, but I can never be consistent because I can't find a single good reason to do much of anything. Whatever energy I have is spent just doing daily upkeep stuff, and tulpamaxxing. Everything seems to be such a drain on me, even maintaining my body and doing basic work in and around the house feels like it takes a massive amount of effort. I fucking long for death, but I just can't make myself do that to my parents, so I try to focus on making sure I feel okay while they're alive. A lot of times I have to force myself to even play a video game or something, otherwise I'll spend hours just thinking myself to the edge of madness.

I've steadily lost most of my energy and motivation for life since I was a teenager tbh.

I can relate with the energy thing so much. Ever since I was a teen, everything just takes so much energy out of me. Anything but rotting is a huge drain on my energy. I guess it coincides with the start of muh depreshun.

I can't have a tulpa, I kinda tried a few times but I am too easily bored, distracted and with a low attention span.

 

[Hyperwristcel]

Is there anything in life, like a goal or fundamental interest that mobilizes you and makes it worth it and tolerable to be outside your comfort zone?

no

 

[AmIjustDreaming]

no

 

[AlexanderTheGreat11]

No

 

[Adamhastor]

Took me 36 years to get a "passion" in life, it's never too late bro

 

[Made in Heaven]

Islam for me

 

[Deleted member 7448]

Took me 36 years to get a "passion" in life, it's never too late bro

Really? Mind sharing what it is?

 

[Adamhastor]

Really? Mind sharing what it is?

My 'cel title' says it all.
I got into scuba diving and it's such a great cope that I always have smth to look forward to

 

[mänline]

Anyway, I kinda lost my train of thought. The point is, I maximize my comfort, to the point of literally rotting, even to this day. I've gotten to such a point of laziness and avoiding anything uncomfortable that even going outside is stressful. Hell, even changing a tiny element of my routine of rotting is stressful and anxiety-inducing. I'd love it if it materialized out of thin air, but putting in the gargantuan amount of work and suffering required to get it is something that just makes me want to rot and avoid it altogether.

This!
Every sin is crawling back at you, so tempting it may be. It is like when you every day make a feast day, then there is no feast day anymore, only scarcity and dissatisfaction. Similar: You can't feel real comfortable anymore when you don't know regular discomfort. This is why people love Fridays: All the stress of the week falls off.

Christian theologist called it acedia and it is also my sin and you are one of the dudes here, which I can relate the most.

Because I have no interests, no passions, no goals.

I had some small passions in life, but relative how others act about things in life it was zero, null, nada. I still ask me, if this of the others is genuine or some kind of program of the world, which they follow. When you see the many "hiking" and "travel" photos in dating apps, which makes you think that these places must be totally overrun permanently, which they aren't then I have my doubts. The best time was the first 5 years in faith since 2014 when I was on fire for God. Jesus said: "A thief comes only to steal and to kill and to destroy. I have come so that they may have life and have it in abundance." (John 10:10 ) and this is already meant for the life on earth and I had experienced it. Then some strange things happened, some sins, some willful heart hardening, I found about Blackpill, Inceldom, and this place. I don't know if I can back to the "first love" full of joy, but my hope is, that I will not be in this mental and spiritual state till death like now.

Bringing glory to God even if it's in such little things as a living room that is cleaned up is what brings mobilization - and his Spirit itself. I would do it without eternal wages and treasure as motivation, because I love God, but since he will reward each one according to his works, so I cannot and will not go full acedia and it is an uncomfortable state itself either, like you described.
Right now I can say I like being alive, nonetheless, mostly I don't think I am meant for this life.

"Acedia (/əˈsiːdiə/; also accidie or accedie /ˈæksɪdi/, from Latin acedĭa, and this from Greek ἀκηδία, "negligence", ἀ- "lack of" -κηδία "care") has been variously defined as a state of listlessness or torpor, of not caring or not being concerned with one's position or condition in the world. In ancient Greece akidía literally meant an inert state without pain or care.[1] Early Christian monks used the term to define a spiritual state of listlessness and from there the term developed a markedly Christian moral tone. In modern times it has been taken up by literary figures and connected to depression.[2]"

Peter Bruegel drawed a landscape of every catholic mortal sin some centurys ago:

Taken from Bruegel’s famous series of The Vices, this work personifies the world of Sloth. The environment is complete with vignettes of ghoulish creatures and demon-like characters who serve to exemplify the meaning of sheer idleness, laziness, and stagnation. It is a beautifully engraved piece - the amount of detail seen here is a testament to Bruegel’s mastery in the etched medium.

According to H. Arthur Klein (1963) , “Here, Sloth herself, older and uglier than the other allegories, sleeps open-mouthed in a landscape of delay, decay, and ultimate impotence. She reposes on her beastly counterpart, a sleeping ass. A monster behind her adjusts her pillow. Around her crawl huge snails. Even the hill of Sloth is soft as shown by a winged demon sawing into it at left. One art historian sees the saw as a suggestion of Dame Sloth’s snoring as she sleeps. Another regards the sawman as a symbol for malicious gossip, his mouth ever open as he cuts away the ground from under others” (p. 114) .

Created in 1558, Sloth was engraved by Pieter van der Heyden after an original drawing by Bruegel, featuring an inscription along the lower margin: “SEGNITIES ROBVR FRANGIT, LONGA AOCIA NERVOS (Sluggishness breaks strength, long idleness [breaks] the nerves) | Traechheyt maeckt machteloos, en verdroocht / Die senuwen dat de mensch niewers toe en doocht (Sloth makes [man] powerless and dries out the nerves until man is good for nothing) .” The signature of Bruegel is inscribed in cartouche in the lower left: ‘brueghel · Inuentor ·’ with the monogram ‘PAME’ in the lower center. The title, ‘DESIDIA’ is found in the lower left-center and at the lower right, ‘·H· Cock · excud· cum · Privileg · 1558·”

"Sloth makes [man] powerless and dries out the nerves until man is good for nothing"

Acedia - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org

The German translation of acedia, "Inertia/Sluggishness of the heart" is a very good short description.
I don't know a materialistic solution to this, but keeping busy for the sake of not maybe landing in a darker place than you intended to reach.


maybe related:
" Pessimism is not in being tired of evil but in being tired of good. Despair does not lie in being weary of suffering, but in being weary of joy. "
Gilbert K. Chesterton

 

[Deleted member 7448]

This!
Every sin is crawling back at you, so tempting it may be. It is like when you every day make a feast day, then there is no feast day anymore, only scarcity and dissatisfaction. Similar: You can't feel real comfortable anymore when you don't know regular discomfort. This is why people love Fridays: All the stress of the week falls off.

Christian theologist called it acedia and it is also my sin and you are one of the dudes here, which I can relate the most.



I had some small passions in life, but relative how others act about things in life it was zero, null, nada. I still ask me, if this of the others is genuine or some kind of program of the world, which they follow. When you see the many "hiking" and "travel" photos in dating apps, which makes you think that these places must be totally overrun permanently, which they aren't then I have my doubts. The best time was the first 5 years in faith since 2014 when I was on fire for God. Jesus said: "A thief comes only to steal and to kill and to destroy. I have come so that they may have life and have it in abundance." (John 10:10 ) and this is already meant for the life on earth and I had experienced it. Then some strange things happened, some sins, some willful heart hardening, I found about Blackpill, Inceldom, and this place. I don't know if I can back to the "first love" full of joy, but my hope is, that I will not be in this mental and spiritual state till death like now.

Bringing glory to God even if it's in such little things as a living room that is cleaned up is what brings mobilization - and his Spirit itself. I would do it without eternal wages and treasure as motivation, because I love God, but since he will reward each one according to his works, so I cannot and will not go full acedia and it is an uncomfortable state itself either, like you described.
Right now I can say I like being alive, nonetheless, mostly I don't think I am meant for this life.

"Acedia (/əˈsiːdiə/; also accidie or accedie /ˈæksɪdi/, from Latin acedĭa, and this from Greek ἀκηδία, "negligence", ἀ- "lack of" -κηδία "care") has been variously defined as a state of listlessness or torpor, of not caring or not being concerned with one's position or condition in the world. In ancient Greece akidía literally meant an inert state without pain or care.[1] Early Christian monks used the term to define a spiritual state of listlessness and from there the term developed a markedly Christian moral tone. In modern times it has been taken up by literary figures and connected to depression.[2]"

Peter Bruegel drawed a landscape of every catholic mortal sin some centurys ago:

"Sloth makes [man] powerless and dries out the nerves until man is good for nothing"

Acedia - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org

The German translation of acedia, "Inertia/Sluggishness of the heart" is a very good short description.
I don't know a materialistic solution to this, but keeping busy for the sake of not maybe landing in a darker place than you intended to reach.


maybe related:
" Pessimism is not in being tired of evil but in being tired of good. Despair does not lie in being weary of suffering, but in being weary of joy. "
Gilbert K. Chesterton

Faith and religion can be powerful things, but for some reason they just don't do it for me. It may be because I'm a very avoidant/antisocial person, and so I lose the quintessential part of faith and religion which has to do with other people. Sure, there are hermits that practice religion, but most religions are all about being sociable, loving other people etc... Which is the opposite of me, who only had very negative experiences with others, never had a friend and actually actively avoided people his entire life. I don't hate people necessarily (maybe just sometimes when I'm in a foul mood), but I am a cynical dude who sees people for the vile creatures they are, and even if that weren't the case my tendencies to avoid people are still very strong.

TLDR: My "quirks" and scars aren't compatible with religion.

 

[mänline]

Faith and religion can be powerful things, but for some reason they just don't do it for me. It may be because I'm a very avoidant/antisocial person, and so I lose the quintessential part of faith and religion which has to do with other people. Sure, there are hermits that practice religion, but most religions are all about being sociable, loving other people etc... Which is the opposite of me, who only had very negative experiences with others, never had a friend and actually actively avoided people his entire life. I don't hate people necessarily (maybe just sometimes when I'm in a foul mood), but I am a cynical dude who sees people for the vile creatures they are, and even if that weren't the case my tendencies to avoid people are still very strong.

TLDR: My "quirks" and scars aren't compatible with religion.

I didn't talk about religion, but God. I sometimes miss out on church gatherings because of avoidant personality, but when you know God you have also the power to overcome. It is not imitable by non-believers, therefore I said, that my only solution for atheists is keeping busy.

And there is even a place for people like us in church. This book - for believers - was a good read for me. It does not go so far to talk about lookism, but everything personality-related:

Blessed Are the Misfits

Warning: If modern church culture makes perfect sense to you, and you always fit in seamlessly, don’t read this. As for the rest of us...

www.goodreads.com

BTW church is full of people with quirks and scars. There are NO perfect people.

 

[EeEcel]

There are NO perfect people.

cope

 

[Caesercel]

You are trying to assign moral value to your lifestyle and seem distressed that it doesn't meet certain standards for values. These standards may come from your family or society or culture. The truth is there is no value in any lifestyle. There is nothing inherently wrong about LDARing all day. The only values are the ones you or others may assign

Is your lifestyle unhealthy? Probably. But is it any more unhealthy than cels who take all kind of drugs, or find themselves permanently lost in alcoholic stupor or eat fast food and drink coke all day everyday. Society might judge some of their lives to have more value than yours since they are "high functioning" individuals who give back to the system, via wageslaving or other means. People only care about what you can give them, and that's one of the most important values on which people's lives are judged. Some would rather have you the way you are rn rather than becoming a full Himalayan Monk.

For a time I lived the "achiever's life". Putting in effort trying to chase goals. Most of my ventures failed, some didn't, I am still glad I did it since I came out a better person than before, based on my own personal values. Let me tell you one thing. We only develop "motivation" to chase these "goals" and "interests" because we are DISCONTENT and DESIRE something. That's what it boils down to. If you really don't have motivation that means you are content with yourself and the current state of affairs. I did it because without it I would be nothing more than a permanently depressed suicidal teenager. Now I am permanently discontent. Always thinking that I could do better. Its a toxic mindset but still better than what came before

The point is to be content with your state. If you are not, you will develop self image issues. Since your self image of what you should be, based upon your values, clashes with your reality, causing distress. If you really are content with yourself with no dissatisfaction there is no reason for you to develop "goals" or "interests" just for the sake of it. If you are not content you can, keep on living in distress, change your values or get off the bed and become the man you want to be.

And let me tell you, the third option is not easy. The motivation needs to come from within to change since the task at hand is gargantuan. You gotta fight your own brain which has developed these habits and doesn't want to readjust. It cannot be done overnight, you need to do it daily until it becomes the new normal. And it becomes harder as you grow older since many of the patterns become a part of yourself that never truly go away. I am going through something similar. I want to live a better life but, like you, all I've done in last 8 years is almost LDAR and ruin my Uni and career opportunities. Buts the worst part it I failed to mature as a person. Its hard to break out of old patterns even though I want to change since my current situation doesn't fit my values. Its hard work but there really is no other way.

Also let me warn you, when real life hits, it hits HARD. It hit me just 2 years back. The resulting trauma and depression still lingers on. I was not taken but yanked out of my comfort zone to do things and face certain realities. Its painful. But there is still a choice, there always is one. I could have chosen to continue as I did but my values didn't allowed that. I could have numbed myself to my values or just change them and become an asshole in everyone else's perspective. You could too, if you want, choose to not face hardship and continue as you are doing now. Depends on how much of a numbskull or asshole or both are you willing to be.

Finally, your story does seem a bit strange. How could you spend 16 hours a day on your laptop without supervision? Where were your parents? You say you flunked Uni, but you also say you are studying rn. Something doesn't add up.

 

[Transcended Trucel]

This is relatable. Often I'll try to make myself do something, for instance learn something new, but I can never be consistent because I can't find a single good reason to do much of anything. Whatever energy I have is spent just doing daily upkeep stuff, and tulpamaxxing. Everything seems to be such a drain on me, even maintaining my body and doing basic work in and around the house feels like it takes a massive amount of effort. I fucking long for death, but I just can't make myself do that to my parents, so I try to focus on making sure I feel okay while they're alive. A lot of times I have to force myself to even play a video game or something, otherwise I'll spend hours just thinking myself to the edge of madness.

I've steadily lost most of my energy and motivation for life since I was a teenager tbh.

good to see ur unbanned
hopefully @Parrtlord is freed too

 

[Gymcelled]

Frankly, I dont remember where I read this, but here you go: Contrary to popular belief, passion comes after competency in a subject. You dont magically end up passionate in something. Whats more, professional cooks prefer to eat fast food at home.

Nobody is truly passionate about something they're bad at/get mogged at

 

[mänline]

cope

Cope, that in Church are not perfect people??

 

[Deleted member 8353]

hopefully @Parrtlord is freed too

Agreed tbh.

 

[Deleted member 7448]

Finally, your story does seem a bit strange. How could you spend 16 hours a day on your laptop without supervision? Where were your parents? You say you flunked Uni, but you also say you are studying rn. Something doesn't add up.

I flunked then reenrolled back in my shitty country, in this shitty university (I guess it's the best uni in this country, but it's still a shithole cause the entire country is as shithole).

And the 16 hours a day bit was sort of gradual I guess. Since I was a kid I spent all my time in front of the TV, then when I was slightly older the PC. I don't remember exactly how it went, but my parents were very upset and we constantly had little arguments about this, they didn't like it that I spent this much time on my PC. But what else was I gonna do? Eventually my stubbornness prevailed, they couldn't force me to not be on the PC, after all I was a lonely, weak, shy and slightly weird kid. And then when I was a teen I got my first laptop, and I started laying in bed with my laptop next to me. That was truly 16 hours a day. Other than school days, of course, I didn't say I didn't go to school, but even with school, once classes were over I'd rush home and I'd be at it again. On the weekends it was 16 hours, holidays, summer etc... In uni it was 16 hours a day much more often.

 

[Caesercel]

I flunked then reenrolled back in my shitty country, in this shitty university (I guess it's the best uni in this country, but it's still a shithole cause the entire country is as shithole).

And the 16 hours a day bit was sort of gradual I guess. Since I was a kid I spent all my time in front of the TV, then when I was slightly older the PC. I don't remember exactly how it went, but my parents were very upset and we constantly had little arguments about this, they didn't like it that I spent this much time on my PC. But what else was I gonna do? Eventually my stubbornness prevailed, they couldn't force me to not be on the PC, after all I was a lonely, weak, shy and slightly weird kid. And then when I was a teen I got my first laptop, and I started laying in bed with my laptop next to me. That was truly 16 hours a day. Other than school days, of course, I didn't say I didn't go to school, but even with school, once classes were over I'd rush home and I'd be at it again. On the weekends it was 16 hours, holidays, summer etc... In uni it was 16 hours a day much more often.

I see how it is. I have similar inclinations but my parents supervised hard. When I was a kid my tv time was limited, I had to literally steal it whatever extra time I could. Even pc or ps2 time was harshly limited to 1 hour per week. If i was spending too much time on mobile they would take it away. Basically if I was seen doing something that was not productive there would be positive disruption. Think tv and laptops switched off while being used. Mobiles snatched away and sometimes broken down

I was not permanently glued to a screen until second year of Uni, when I finally had a personal laptop, a smartphone, an internet connection to go with that and parents stopped gaf. It was just gonna happen anyway, there is no other respite for lonely asocial people like us.

 

[Deleted member 7448]

I see how it is. I have similar inclinations but my parents supervised hard. When I was a kid my tv time was limited, I had to literally steal it whatever extra time I could. Even pc or ps2 time was harshly limited to 1 hour per week. If i was spending too much time on mobile they would take it away. Basically if I was seen doing something that was not productive there would be positive disruption. Think tv and laptops switched off while being used. Mobiles snatched away and sometimes broken down

I was not permanently glued to a screen until second year of Uni, when I finally had a personal laptop, a smartphone, an internet connection to go with that and parents stopped gaf. It was just gonna happen anyway, there is no other respite for lonely asocial people like us.

I was hoping I'd get tired of all this and start doing something with my life eventually. But even when I'm super tired and fed up with rotting, with playing video games and browsing the net and watching TV etc... even being burned out on all this, I still fucking do it cause everything else feels like a huge drain on my energy and gives me anxiety.

 

[Caesercel]

I was hoping I'd get tired of all this and start doing something with my life eventually. But even when I'm super tired and fed up with rotting, with playing video games and browsing the net and watching TV etc... even being burned out on all this, I still fucking do it cause everything else feels like a huge drain on my energy and gives me anxiety.

I can relate. I have so much to do but I am rotting on this forum for the past 2 hours. You won't automatically get tired of all this and start doing something. Its a fact. You gotta haul your ass up forcefully. I know it is gonna be painful but there is no way around it. Your brain is designed to prevent pain or discomfort. You gotta take it if you really wanna change.

I have to shift to another city in the next few weeks for my job. Its a new experience and I am dying with anxiety rn. I have never lived alone. Plus I have all these responsibilities, my age is running out and future looks bleak. But what's gotta happen gotta happen.

 

[Deleted member 7448]

I can relate. I have so much to do but I am rotting on this forum for the past 2 hours. You won't automatically get tired of all this and start doing something. Its a fact. You gotta haul your ass up forcefully. I know it is gonna be painful but there is no way around it. Your brain is designed to prevent pain or discomfort. You gotta take it if you really wanna change.

I have to shift to another city in the next few weeks for my job. Its a new experience and I am dying with anxiety rn. I have never lived alone. Plus I have all these responsibilities, my age is running out and future looks bleak. But what's gotta happen gotta happen.

You've never lived alone? Ok, remember these words: DO NOT DRINK. Please man, believe me when I say this, if you think your life is bad now, alcohol can lead you to depths of despair and misery you've never even thought possible.

That's what I did before I dropped out. I was a fucking good student man, I had great grades. Then I got into alcohol because it made me feel good and it was a break from my usual depression, and I lived alone so what the hell, why not do it?. (except it was a flat share and I had a lot of roommates in other rooms, some from my country who snitched on me and other bad shit).

But it ruined my life man. In so many ways. Ruined my health, ruined my parents, ruined my future and my education beyond belief, gave me PTSD, ruined my reputation and makes me afraid of walking down the street afraid of running into anyone that ever knew me. Now I'm a sickly moron, bound to live a life of working for less than $300 a month, shitty jobs, having shitty degrees, having spent my parent's life savings by squandering the chance to live in a better country.

So if there's one thing that I want you to remember from me, it's that you must not drink, ever. Especially alone in your room, like I always did. I won't go into the many horrible things that happened to me because of alcohol and my own bad choices and actions, but do not drink man.

 

[Caesercel]

You've never lived alone? Ok, remember these words: DO NOT DRINK. Please man, believe me when I say this, if you think your life is bad now, alcohol can lead you to depths of despair and misery you've never even thought possible.

That's what I did before I dropped out. I was a fucking good student man, I had great grades. Then I got into alcohol because it made me feel good and it was a break from my usual depression, and I lived alone so what the hell, why not do it?. (except it was a flat share and I had a lot of roommates in other rooms, some from my country who snitched on me and other bad shit).

But it ruined my life man. In so many ways. Ruined my health, ruined my parents, ruined my future and my education beyond belief, gave me PTSD, ruined my reputation and makes me afraid of walking down the street afraid of running into anyone that ever knew me. Now I'm a sickly moron, bound to live a life of working for less than $300 a month, shitty jobs, having shitty degrees, having spent my parent's life savings by squandering the chance to live in a better country.

So if there's one thing that I want you to remember from me, it's that you must not drink, ever. Especially alone in your room, like I always did. I won't go into the many horrible things that happened to me because of alcohol and my own bad choices and actions, but do not drink man.

Lol. You don't have to tell me that. I am beyond the point where anything could compell me to start drinking. Taking substances is not my style anyway. Plus I hate alcohol because of alcoholics in my family. God made breezers so guys like me can socialize with alcoholics.

What country do you live in now? I wish my parents could afford to send me for higher education abroad. I can understand the point about parents using up their life savings. Have seen it happen myself with many people.

 

[Deleted member 7448]

Lol. You don't have to tell me that. I am beyond the point where anything could compell me to start drinking. Taking substances is not my style anyway. Plus I hate alcohol because of alcoholics in my family. God made breezers so guys like me can socialize with alcoholics.

What country do you live in now? I wish my parents could afford to send me for higher education abroad. I can understand the point about parents using up their life savings. Have seen it happen myself with many people.

Haven't really heard of any son wasting their parent's life savings and then ending up an alcoholic and dropping out. Those people usually at least stick with their studies. And I was fucking doing well, but then I found it hard to stop drinking, ended up doing it 24/7.

 

[WØLF]

Nope

 

[Based-nearcel]

Even if you were good looking it doesn't sound like your life would be any better. I don't know if you have ADHD but to me it sounds like adderall would do wonders for your motivation issues

 

[Emba]

I was happiest when my life was a constant struggle to survive.

 

[osman27]

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9QiE-M1LrZk