Little rabbitalittlerabbit said:31. Completed isolated and reinforced/instructed by doctors/therapy to be so…including not talking with others/any kind of relationships whatsoever. So im breaking rules just talking here.
For 31 years I cried and felt really depressed and alone. Now I no longer have a heart and have nothing if contempt and hatred for everyone. I consider myself purely misanthropic. Past several months has developed further toward all living things. Don’t even care about animals anymore.
None of this is my will. Deep down I love animals. Want to love people. But CPTSD is real and has totally eviscerated any humanity I had. Now I’m a floating shell praying the end comes soon.
Arab/White descent so I’m used to being hated. Don’t even give a shit that racism seems to flow naturally here. I’ve been called every name in the book, it’s normal to me now.
What’s far worse than name calling is the trauma and physical abuse I’ve been through which don’t worry, I’m sensitive to other’s triggers so you won’t be hearing anything about that.
Despite hating everything, I still have respect for everyone and the land and what not. I just want my life to be over.
It soothes me being able to communicate even though it goes against my therapy and medical advisement.
Anyway, thanks for reading.