B33troot
Officer
★★★
- Joined
- Jun 12, 2023
- Posts
- 792
Here's the thing. I'm 40. I am neuro-typical, or at least neuro-typical enough to be highly qualified in my realm of work. I have a career spanning nearly 2 decades. I am well respected at work. My finances are sound. I have friends. I am a fully functional and productive member of soceity. But when it comes to relationships, I'm absolutely clueless. And in that regard, I feel like a child trapped in an adult body.
I say that because all my knowledge about intimate relationships is derived from movies, videos, literature and accounts from other people. And not from my own lived experiences.
I have no idea what it's like to:
- be desired by a woman
- develop a bond with a woman that's more than just friendship
- have private conversations with a woman about "us" and "we" stuff
- escalate things via communication and touch
- initiate intimacy
- experience intimacy
Even if by some miracle, a woman finds me attractive enough to hang out with me, she'll inevitably sense I'm an awkward 40 year old virgin weirdo and run away from me.
I have absolutely failed as a human being.
It's over. It never began. It will never begin.
I say that because all my knowledge about intimate relationships is derived from movies, videos, literature and accounts from other people. And not from my own lived experiences.
I have no idea what it's like to:
- be desired by a woman
- develop a bond with a woman that's more than just friendship
- have private conversations with a woman about "us" and "we" stuff
- escalate things via communication and touch
- initiate intimacy
- experience intimacy
Even if by some miracle, a woman finds me attractive enough to hang out with me, she'll inevitably sense I'm an awkward 40 year old virgin weirdo and run away from me.
I have absolutely failed as a human being.
It's over. It never began. It will never begin.
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