SuicideFuel I wish to put effort, but I just can't

[iqmanletraper]

I want to spend hours studying, I want to dedicate it to a craft, I want to learn something new but I can't. "muhh just take action bro" I have taken action a multitude of actions pushed myself out of my own comfort zone or however normies call it, yet I end in the same spot in my house in my dirty room watching youtube slop all day or sleeping in. Why does my own consciousness not listen to me? Why do I force myself to stay the same? When people talk about determinism I feel it in such a deep way every facet of my life has been determined regardless of action, but I can't ever sort of give up these thoughts that maybe one day something will change and I will do something about it.

 

[Firefighter]

Relate.
It's hard to be motivated with no external validation.

That's why I listen to asmr-foids telling me everything will be okay.

 

[H U N T E R]

We’re in the same situation.

 

[H U N T E R]

Relate.
It's hard to be motivated with no external validation.

That's why I listen to asmr-foids telling me everything will be okay.

Me too

 

[iqmanletraper]

Relate.
It's hard to be motivated with no external validation.

That's why I listen to asmr-foids telling me everything will be okay.

I cringe out too hard with asmr-foid audios but maybe I should build a tolerance to it in hopes it'll help.

 

[OverLoner]

Then don't expect anything to change. You have to be willing to fight for yourself even if no one is on your side if you want change in your favor. It's just how it is. Complacency gets you long term disappointment. Get a job if you don't have one and pick up an activity like the gym. Sure some parts will suck but at least you'll feel alive rather than being a hollow husk. Lounging around sucks. I did it for over a year as a teenager and never again.

 

[cursed]

I attempted many times to learn programming, another language, or something productive since 2014 i keep pushing myself into learn stuff and never actually learning anything. I'm growing frustrated i'm in my 20s acting like i'm in my 70s or 80s. I feel exhausted from feeling exhausted. It's not like i even do anything to be exhausted.
I'm putting all my hopes and dreams on long distance trucking, but even that is a long shot, i feel like I won't even be able to park a long ass truck somewhere end up running someone over by accident.
Even driving somewhere where's there no much room for truck just the thought of it consumes me day in and day out, I don't even have my trucking license yet or have all the money for it yet and I'm just wanna give up already.

It cannot be this over for us. it has been days i've been eating slop because i can't get myself to cook something nicer, maybe it's because of my fucked up teeth. I eat bread it breaks my teeth i keep living miserably for days, I eat veggies and it chips my teeth and hurts for days. Liquid is the only solution unfortunately. If not only that I feel behind on my hygiene and cycling because of the weather.

 

[cursed]

Then don't expect anything to change. You have to be willing to fight for yourself even if no one is on your side if you want change in your favor. It's just how it is. Complacency gets you long term disappointment. Get a job if you don't have one and pick up an activity like the gym. Sure some parts will suck but at least you'll feel alive rather than being a hollow husk. Lounging around sucks. I did it for over a year as a teenager and never again.

I agree, but somehow i still. fall behind and lose course. I still have some bupropion around left that i used to stop smoking cigarettes when i was on it i felt so sharp. while doing some research with chatgpt, grok, qwen, and gemini about non SSRis meds to help with ADHD and depression it suggested to use it not sure which with propranolol of which i don't have and its for anxiety.
Used to do just 30km cycling every early morning 6 days a week just 20 days ago.

 

[all this time]

without support, you really either need to b strong willed asf or use drugs tbh to get the same amount of output

 

[Gen.SchizoAfricanus]

You most likely have ADHD, Look into it bro. I have it too but i'm too autistic to take my meds properly.

 

[Gen.SchizoAfricanus]

I agree, but somehow i still. fall behind and lose course. I still have some bupropion around left that i used to stop smoking cigarettes when i was on it i felt so sharp. while doing some research with chatgpt, grok, qwen, and gemini about non SSRis meds to help with ADHD and depression it suggested to use it not sure which with propranolol of which i don't have and its for anxiety.
Used to do just 30km cycling every early morning 6 days a week just 20 days ago.

bro you sound like you might need to see a doctor for real , did something happen recently that made your mental health take a hit? That doesn't sound like a gradual decline

 

[cursed]

bro you sound like you might need to see a doctor for real , did something happen recently that made your mental health take a hit? That doesn't sound like a gradual decline

Weather, mostly. but some family drama too. Maybe ill try seeing a doctor in the coming weeks.

 

[elephant man]

When you grow up with only negative reinforcement it’s very hard to have the self belief to do anything

 

[amiannoying]

I'm a fatcel, this summer is my last chance to loose weight, otherwise I give up and rope.
Maybe by loosing fatcel status I will maybe just maybe get a girl.
Only hope keeping me alive

 

[nihilum]

It's over for ADHDcels