you already know other fellow aegyocels, right?
View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B17yoLxkbPA
Anyway, the thing is, I'm ridiculously high in I.Q. (humble brag, I know right?), AUTISM... and those two things are supposed to breed some basement dweller narrow closed-minded anime weeaboo(not that I have anything against that, my friends are like that)... yet here I am with a 99.99th percentile score in trait openness to experience like no one I've ever met(personality dimension)... Autism and openness to experience independent of each other are already rare psychometric statistical manifestations themselves, the literature literally suggests their impossible co-ocurrence... yet here I am. It's weird being me. Here's a glimpse of what it's like being me:
I literally just met some sub90iq Nigerian at my community college and he gave me a ride home (probably not the best idea I've had because he was speeding, but whatever... he's chill though, he got me food). By being high in openness to experience, I'm naturally fond of aesthetics and new experiences for the sake of them being new to me. This is what literally drives me to K-pop
If I go with the tech and math people, sure they're all iq smart but not open... If I go with the creative people they often don't have the iq smart...
I'm literally at the intersection of the pinnacles of both divergent and convergent thinking, and any societal group of either respective denomination isn't even fairly equipped in the minimum in terms of possessing the other
According to Jordan Peterson's theory on happiness, I should be sad because he claims that happiness = low neuroticism & high extraversion...
I am literally high neuroticism & low extraversion... I have a resting smiling face... I have a high happiness set point. Some guy in HS said "why is that nigga always smiling?" bro wtf? my extraversion dimension is interesting because some of the sub-facets are also sub-facets of openness to experience (which I tend to be in the 99.99th percentile in - I'm not lying, I've thought going up to a random person's house and asking if I can stay for dinner when I got lost at the beach with my friend)... I have the need to socialize and make friends and be social and derive joy from that but it drains REALLY fast, I need to get back home QUICK and just saturate my mind with information and be left alone for a solid 5 hours.
WHAT THE FUCK?
literally, what the fuck am I supposed to do?
This isn't even a humblebrag. Sure it might have been if it were 3-year-old me posting this since I was already pondering about the metaphysics of the world...
But being ridiculously smart brings about two phases in people's lives:
[1] It's cool being smart because there's no one else like me
[2] It's lonely being smart because there's no one else like me
this is aggrandized because of my psychometric impossibility... literally what the fuck do I do?
I've made some pretty bold claims and I absofuckinglutely stand by them in terms of my views and judgments about the world, the least I can do I think is not let this NT world rob me of myself. (psychiatry is an active force trying to do this).
Unfortunately, it's too late to ask my parent for a sister.
