Asperger's and autism is undoubtedly one of the worst conditions a person can ever be born with. I have lived with extreme ugliness (deformity tier ugly) before surgeries and it is awful but in many ways, I was still normal. Just an ugly guy that no one wanted to fuck. But still normal. I could have friends. I could joke with them or my family etc.
An autist can't have that. Can an autist ever have a truly close relationship with someone? I don't know.
@imbored21 you're not alone for feeling suicidal over autism.
According to that thread, autists have 10 times as many suicidal thoughts as normal people. They have 7.5x the chance of dying from suicide.
Autism is undeniably a hell to be born into. If it's any consolation, you don't deserve it. You're not a bad person. You haven't done anything wrong. A small part of your brain that was meant to interpret emotions and expressions didn't develop properly, and now you lack that piece that everyone else has.
Society has offered almost nothing in terms of solutions or help to autistic men. Autistic men are bullied mercilessly growing up:
https://incels.is/threads/69-of-kids-with-aspergers-get-bullied-autismpill.65701/
But at the end of the day, I would contradict your perspective that socializing is everything. I can still talk to people and socialize normally. But I have also been at least mildly suicidal on/off for most of my adult life. If not for antidepressants or St. John's Wort I certainly couldn't have kept functioning and maybe I would have done it. I don't know.
I think that life is hard for a man when you are born with anything missing. Life is unforgiving for men. Women can have almost any defect and someone will still love them. But that is not always true for men. It is very easy for men to fall through the cracks. No one is looking to save us.
For me, many days I would be happiest not to have to talk to or socialize with anyone. The thing you want most is to be able to socialize. The thing I want most is a perfectly normal average face. You see normal people talking day to day and wonder how they do it. I see perfectly symmetrical well developed faces and wonder how that can be so effortless.
I think we will always want what we don't have and what is missing from our lives. The only solutions I know of are the ones I talked about here:
None of this is fair. It's just random chance and we got dealt the variety of bad cards. Keep your head up and don't let them get you down more than they have to.
