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Brutal er8 yeah I'm dying Bros, so my "frens" treat me like I'm already a ghost.... emba radio, living the "pre-lonely death" life!

Emba

Emba

Jarjar Sphinx
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er8 yeah I'm dying Bros, so my "frens" treat me like I'm already a ghost.... emba radio, living the "pre-lonely death" life!

some very brutal shit about dying alone. especially, if you know about it.
(I finally figured out my health problem - bad heart valve - & I'm taking herbal action to fix it. I might be too late, but it seems like it's helping....)

should play in you browser, if not, try downloading and renaming the suffix to m4a

episode / topic guide / link (if available)

Emba radio! (no# @ hidden zone)
er2 kittens vs rats (updated)

er3 incels of the 80s 90s tributemaxx
er4 rude edgelordmaxxing
er5 (pending TBA) fifth anniversary!
er6 mannequin sexdoll fun!
er7 murderer ascension story
er8 I'm dying

er9 the woods

anyway,
they treat you like you're already gone! a literal fucking ghostcel! the walking dead!

stfu!...

it's very brutal to be even more ignored than usual. especially in a time of emo need! surely I wasn't deserving of such treatment? especially from Christians! wtf?! ChriSTAINS is more like it! gdmf shit!

maybe they think I'm going to hell? why be nice to the doomed sinner?

ofc, I'd rather live another 20+ years, but I might not.

dying...

it really pisses me off to be so disposable... gdmf Randos on the street, larp about "caring about me" far more than people I've known for decades... they can't even be bothered to pretend. ); ); );

I should probably cry about it, but, I'm dry. tbh, I'm kind of shocked about it.

maybe everyone I know is an emoless NPC? worthless fucking normies! at least their not blatantly cheering, so there's that...

in a way I get it... no one wants to be reminded of their own mortality. but it's natural. inevitable. common.

I suppose caring about someone's death is based on how much you benefited from their life? like some kind of ratio?

family man is mourned, unknown stranger isn't. but these fuckers know me! some are almost in the same boat as me. maybe they have better FAMs? better frens? who knows...

maybe they don't want to be around to watch me die, keel over. because they might "feel bad" or be made "uncomfortable" at having to stick around and deal with cops and EMTs and all the questions... too much effort.

then again, wtf exactly does one say to the dying? (what I said, is probably best) tell them they were a joy to know! you were grateful for their company... it's not gay to care about a bro! to tell them that they improved you're life! it's a kindness!

I'm not fishing for care or sympathy from y'all randobros here, bros. I'm just saying.online strangers and rando street people care more than IRL people I've known for decades... and that's some brutal shit right there..

and yelling into the cybervoid is my only way to reach out for emo comfort. at least a way to say goodbye to "someone." anyone...

but then again, my herbology skills might cure me... I've cured other stuff with it. but, there no cure for death. (death is its own cure.) but damn, the lack of emo support sure is brutal. especially when I'm feeling all mortal like this.

any of you suifuckers think it's a great thing to die, unless you have been around death and dying people, you have no clue. you're unrealistic!

"dying is easy. it's living that's the hard part..." #shitwaffles #!

so, if you know how mortally doomed you are, it might be best to keep it to yourself!

how fucked up is that?

it's indeed brutal. and almost over. but not not yet! (I hope)
 
new emba radio :feelsautistic:

got the day off so will listen right away
 
How old are you? And what's your exact condition?

I probably wouldn't have told your friends you were dying, in hindsight. I don't have any friends, so can't relate. :feelshaha:

You should make a Youtube channel sharing all this stuff. I've watched quite a few of them, with people with terminal illnesses. They're oddly compelling.
 
How old are you? And what's your exact condition?

I probably wouldn't have told your friends you were dying, in hindsight. I don't have any friends, so can't relate. :feelshaha:
60+ it's mentioned above. Heart valve...
 
You will always be missed on .is brocel :feelsaww:
It's deeply unfortunate, but like you said everything is based off of what you do for someone, so it's kind of bitter sweet. (Mostly just bitter)

Hang in there friend, I don't think this life is the end.
 
Damn. I think k the same way. I shit in buckets and piss in jugs to go pour outside, as a thank you to the earth and nature. Why pour the piss and shit down the toilet to be cooked and cleaned with chemicals? I put all my scrap food out in a compost heap, too.

Listening to Emba Radio is always surreal. Glad I found you before you croaked. I know I'll blink and be in the exact same position. What a strange existence this all is.
 
60+ it's mentioned above. Heart valve...
"Heart valve" isn't a condition..

If I'm still here in my 60s I hope I'm dying.
 
have you visited a secular doctor
 
I hope it's a peaceful death.
 
How will you spend your final days on the planet?
 
i cant listen and cant download either @Emba
 
"Heart valve" isn't a condition..

If I'm still here in my 60s I hope I'm dying.
Whatever you say Dr Nigger... You think I'm going to be more specific? Maybe you should retake anatomy 102?
You will always be missed on .is brocel :feelsaww:
It's deeply unfortunate, but like you said everything is based off of what you do for someone, so it's kind of bitter sweet. (Mostly just bitter)
I tried to be useful to folks! I even tied bribing folks... With "party materials." I guess my plain talk frightens folks...
Hang in there friend, I don't think this life is the end.
Thanx bro
i cant listen and cant download either @Emba
Brutal public computercel... It's just brutal emo shit. The text covers any dnl
Damn. I think k the same way. I shit in buckets and piss in jugs to go pour outside, as a thank you to the earth and nature. Why pour the piss and shit down the toilet to be cooked and cleaned with chemicals? I put all my scrap food out in a compost heap, too.

Listening to Emba Radio is always surreal. Glad I found you before you croaked. I know I'll blink and be in the exact same position. What a strange existence this all is.
My latest outhouse post is coming soon bro. Shit buckets are more of an emergency winter or sickness thing... Triple lined with plastic shopping bags.... Etc.
have you visited a secular doctor
Yes, bro... I trust doctors since my dentists fucked me over for so long...

One of my copes is medicine, I'm my own Dr. And I'm my animals vet... It's 60 miles to the nearest hospital. You really think I'm going to be trust them covid murderers?

I'll just walk... Or get a Fren to drive me there for med tests... Oh. That's Right. There's no frens for my medical transportation!

I can't breathe... Here! Let's show a tube in you're mucus filed lungs and pump air in, but don't get the mucus out! (Drowns me)

Why prolong the inevitable? Am I so desperate to "stay alive" a few more weeks years, that I want to get my ribs cracked open, and come home & heal from all that, alone sitting in my own shit in pain?
How will you spend your final days on the planet?
Not sure. I could easily travel anywhere if I sold a bunch of stuff...

The woods seems cozy. Feed the critters... But I have animals here that need me
 
20% - Unwarranted harassment
Whatever you say Dr Nigger... You think I'm going to be more specific? Maybe you should retake anatomy 102?
Given that you've blathered on for about an hour and posted multiple threads about it, yes, I'd assume you'd include some specifics.

Enjoy your slow, painful death, boyo. :feelsEhh:
 
Given that you've blathered on for about an hour and posted multiple threads about it, yes, I'd assume you'd include some specifics.

Enjoy your slow, painful death, boyo. :feelsEhh:
Why would I give medical details to someone like you? Or any other rando lurker?

Unlike many normies that love to discuss medical problems, I hate that cringe shit!

Im more into the philosophy of the thing. Im Not asking for you're medical opinions! Or you're medical sympathy...

I'm just coping here. We all hope here...

It's not painful at all... So fuck off! Don't wish bad on me you shitbag! It could easily happen to you someday.

Don't you have to go and kys? Isn't that you're "thing?"
 
Why would I give medical details to someone like you? Or any other rando lurker?
Because it's the only remotely interesting thing about your post.
 
Are you autistic? Have you ever seen an escort before or are you a legit 60+ year old virgin?
 
Christians, Jehova witnesses, mormons, protestantes etcetc

Do you know what they ALL have in common?

Its an ego trip.
 
Are you autistic? Have you ever seen an escort before or are you a legit 60+ year old virgin?
Yes, two whores. I'm actually due for my every 20 years whorefuck.

I should probably get one... Somewhere...

No I'm not artistic. I was born before the vaccines were super toxicified.
 
Christians, Jehova witnesses, mormons, protestantes etcetc

Do you know what they ALL have in common?

Its an ego trip.
"I'm gonna go to heaven and you're not! So fuck you!" Lol... It's so insane.
 
"I'm gonna go to heaven and you're not! So fuck you!" Lol... It's so insane.
Yeah man, its a mental illness.
The worst kind of autists are these religious normie shitstains
 
Yes, two whores. I'm actually due for my every 20 years whorefuck.

I should probably get one... Somewhere...

No I'm not artistic. I was born before the vaccines were super toxicified.
Probably would be a good thing to do before death if things get bad
 
listened to your audio you have nice soothing voice you mind if i make music for your radios?
 
It's the superbluepill!
My Farts come out MUCH more sincere, compared to them spousing verbal diarrhea from whenever whos idea was it..

Like plague, it spreads
 
If it makes you feel better. I am also dying from back pain and all my friends left me.

If i didnt have okayish parents i would have been dead 5 years ago.

Friends come and go. And if you re dying they will definately go.

And unless you dont get better than you will be friendless.

Health is everything.

Also is that the sound of oxygen tank in the background? Brutal if yes.

I hope you get better, both me and you. I am trying my best.
 
listened to your audio you have nice soothing voice you mind if i make music for your radios?
Thanks bro but I already have some but it's too much effort. My early ones had it. But mainly it's about yelling into the cyber void
Probably would be a good thing to do before death if things get bad
Ikr, I like to look at IRL foids, but after so long I can't imagine touching one....
 
If it makes you feel better. I am also dying from back pain and all my friends left me.

If i didnt have okayish parents i would have been dead 5 years ago.

Friends come and go. And if you re dying they will definately go.

And unless you dont get better than you will be friendless.

Health is everything.

Also is that the sound of oxygen tank in the background? Brutal if yes.

I hope you get better, both me and you. I am trying my best.
No o2... They say once you get on one, you stay on one till you die... Back pain turned me into a multi decade alcoholic...

Health is indeed everything.
 
Health is indeed everything.
My life got ruined at 19 from health issues its been hell for me for 8 years and still going.

If i wasnt getting better i would have roped. I already tried but failed. I was gona try again but i found a cure.


Keep researching into your herbalogy medicine and heal yourself.

Today my pain was 11/10 but im fighting because i know it will get better.

Maybe you can get better too? At least try all what you can do. So you know you tried your best and went down as a fighter.

I am self medicating myself too after i lost trust in drs and in humans in general.
 
My life got ruined at 19 from health issues its been hell for me for 8 years and still going.

If i wasnt getting better i would have roped. I already tried but failed. I was gona try again but i found a cure.


Keep researching into your herbalogy medicine and heal yourself.

Today my pain was 11/10 but im fighting because i know it will get better.

Maybe you can get better too? At least try all what you can do. So you know you tried your best and went down as a fighter.

I am self medicating myself too after i lost trust in drs and in humans in general.
It's easy to not trust them strangers that dgaf about you..

I don't understand why folks look up to, and trust them? It's like all you are is a car/house/boat/2nd house payment to them.

They ain't you're Fren! I know so many folks talk like they think they are loved by them Rando strangers! And you can't change there minds...

The herbal stuff is slow, but all drugs and stuff came from it, so it's a valid thing...

Pain is the hardest thing to find herbs for. Their all illegal! Everything useful is banned! I had to use veterinary stuff to cure my spine injury. (DMSO) a type of tree sap product.


Hopefully you're neet and don't have to slave for a can of beans.
 
It's easy to not trust them strangers that dgaf about you..

I don't understand why folks look up to, and trust them? It's like all you are is a car/house/boat/2nd house payment to them.

They ain't you're Fren! I know so many folks talk like they think they are loved by them Rando strangers! And you can't change there minds...

The herbal stuff is slow, but all drugs and stuff came from it, so it's a valid thing...

Pain is the hardest thing to find herbs for. Their all illegal! Everything useful is banned! I had to use veterinary stuff to cure my spine injury. (DMSO) a type of tree sap product.


Hopefully you're neet and don't have to slave for a can of beans.
I am forced to be a burden on my family there is no neeting in my country.

Neet here = you die the next day because there is noone to take care of you.

Have you tried kratom, also it goes without saying you need to stop smoking. Funny its coming from me a smoker too. I will stop once i can bear the pain.

Maybe you think you re too old to quit and thats fair cant argue with that.

But if you wana still fight to live and enjoy your copes and outlive your enemies and "friends" then you might wana try to stop.
 
I am forced to be a burden on my family there is no neeting in my country.

Neet here = you die the next day because there is noone to take care of you.

Have you tried kratom, also it goes without saying you need to stop smoking. Funny its coming from me a smoker too. I will stop once i can bear the pain.

Maybe you think you re too old to quit and thats fair cant argue with that.

But if you wana still fight to live and enjoy your copes and outlive your enemies and "friends" then you might wana try to stop.
I try every once in awhile. I roll my own and they are tiny. Look like tiny cheap pot joints!

I try to only use herbs I have easy access to. Or can grow myself. I find the kratom to be confusing. And it's only slightly legal here...

It sucks to feel like a burden bro. But it's super awesome that you have folks to lean on!
 
@Emba is king
 
I try every once in awhile. I roll my own and they are tiny. Look like tiny cheap pot joints!

I try to only use herbs I have easy access to. Or can grow myself. I find the kratom to be confusing. And it's only slightly legal here...

It sucks to feel like a burden bro. But it's super awesome that you have folks to lean on!
You should look into kratom and weed. They say they work best for spinal issues.

I take lyrica for my back pain and it works for me.
 
I don’t want to lose you you a good part of the forum. Keep us updated and when you are about to die on your last day tell us so we don’t need to speculate. Enjoy the rest of your life man, Bless you.
 
You should look into kratom and weed. They say they work best for spinal issues.

I take lyrica for my back pain and it works for me.
I already cured that pain with 6 months of DMSO...

Internally. It took a lot of research because it's kind of dangerous if you use metal or the wrong kinds if plastic with it. (Super solvent)

Usually its used topically.
 
I already cured that pain with 6 months of DMSO...

Internally. It took a lot of research because it's kind of dangerous if you use metal or the wrong kinds if plastic with it. (Super solvent)

Usually its used topically.
What is dmso? Never heard of it and ive done alot of research myself.

Anyways my point is try everything u can. And take advantage of anyone who can help.

Also tag me in your new radio threads. This was a nice listen. Ill check the previous ones later when i feel better.
 
I don’t want to lose you you a good part of the forum. Keep us updated and when you are about to die on your last day tell us so we don’t need to speculate. Enjoy the rest of your life man, Bless you.
Thanks bro... Actually I'm kind of surprised I've lived this long tbh... Ofc I thought I'd have a faster death. Thanks to false ideas from the media...

If all goes well, I might get a extra decade or too. But one never knows.

I'm just preparing for it. That's one of my copes. Being prepared for stuff... Was a us boy scouts (BSA) before it got ruined.

I'm just feeling my mortality lately... For a while, it was Every day, i got worse. but I seem OK for Now. At least not worse.
 
What is dmso? Never heard of it and ive done alot of research myself.

Anyways my point is try everything u can. And take advantage of anyone who can help.

Also tag me in your new radio threads. This was a nice listen. Ill check the previous ones later when i feel better.
Every time I mass tag I get shit for it... Plus I have a bad memory from the gdmf mercury teeth...
 
Thanks bro... Actually I'm kind of surprised I've lived this long tbh... Ofc I thought I'd have a faster death. Thanks to false ideas from the media...

If all goes well, I might get a extra decade or too. But one never knows.

I'm just preparing for it. That's one of my copes. Being prepared for stuff... Was a us boy scouts (BSA) before it got ruined.

I'm just feeling my mortality lately... For a while, it was Every day, i got worse. but I seem OK for Now. At least not worse.
Self medicate yourself like you always do and good luck you will reach 80 and more.

Ostracized people are iron willed.
 
Every time I mass tag I get shit for it... Plus I have a bad memory from the gdmf mercury teeth...
I see dont worry about it then ill find it in case you post something new
 
Self medicate yourself like you always do and good luck you will reach 80 and more.

Ostracized people are iron willed.
Indeed! My magical powers of inertia is very strong!
 
er8 yeah I'm dying Bros, so my "frens" treat me like I'm already a ghost.... emba radio, living the "pre-lonely death" life!

some very brutal shit about dying alone. especially, if you know about it.
(I finally figured out my health problem - bad heart valve - & I'm taking herbal action to fix it. I might be too late, but it seems like it's helping....)

should play in you browser, if not, try downloading and renaming the suffix to m4a

episode / topic guide / link (if available)

Emba radio! (no# @ hidden zone)
er2 kittens vs rats (updated)

er3 incels of the 80s 90s tributemaxx
er4 rude edgelordmaxxing
er5 (pending TBA) fifth anniversary!
er6 mannequin sexdoll fun!
er7 murderer ascension story
er8 I'm dying

er9 the woods

anyway,
they treat you like you're already gone! a literal fucking ghostcel! the walking dead!

stfu!...
View attachment 1191628
it's very brutal to be even more ignored than usual. especially in a time of emo need! surely I wasn't deserving of such treatment? especially from Christians! wtf?! ChriSTAINS is more like it! gdmf shit!

maybe they think I'm going to hell? why be nice to the doomed sinner?

ofc, I'd rather live another 20+ years, but I might not.

dying...
View attachment 1191629
it really pisses me off to be so disposable... gdmf Randos on the street, larp about "caring about me" far more than people I've known for decades... they can't even be bothered to pretend. ); ); );

I should probably cry about it, but, I'm dry. tbh, I'm kind of shocked about it.

maybe everyone I know is an emoless NPC? worthless fucking normies! at least their not blatantly cheering, so there's that...

in a way I get it... no one wants to be reminded of their own mortality. but it's natural. inevitable. common.

I suppose caring about someone's death is based on how much you benefited from their life? like some kind of ratio?

family man is mourned, unknown stranger isn't. but these fuckers know me! some are almost in the same boat as me. maybe they have better FAMs? better frens? who knows...

maybe they don't want to be around to watch me die, keel over. because they might "feel bad" or be made "uncomfortable" at having to stick around and deal with cops and EMTs and all the questions... too much effort.

then again, wtf exactly does one say to the dying? (what I said, is probably best) tell them they were a joy to know! you were grateful for their company... it's not gay to care about a bro! to tell them that they improved you're life! it's a kindness!

I'm not fishing for care or sympathy from y'all randobros here, bros. I'm just saying.online strangers and rando street people care more than IRL people I've known for decades... and that's some brutal shit right there..

and yelling into the cybervoid is my only way to reach out for emo comfort. at least a way to say goodbye to "someone." anyone...

but then again, my herbology skills might cure me... I've cured other stuff with it. but, there no cure for death. (death is its own cure.) but damn, the lack of emo support sure is brutal. especially when I'm feeling all mortal like this.

any of you suifuckers think it's a great thing to die, unless you have been around death and dying people, you have no clue. you're unrealistic!

"dying is easy. it's living that's the hard part..." #shitwaffles #!

so, if you know how mortally doomed you are, it might be best to keep it to yourself!

how fucked up is that?

it's indeed brutal. and almost over. but not not yet! (I hope)
If ur heart valave is blocked then how does it eefect health? Isnt that same as heart attack? I thought people get bypass surgery and then live like that or am I wrong?
 
If ur heart valave is blocked then how does it eefect health? Isnt that same as heart attack? I thought people get bypass surgery and then live like that or am I wrong?
It's not a block, its a lack of full closure/utility.

If it was a block I'd stroke out and be ded already.
 
It's not a block, its a lack of full closure/utility.

If it was a block I'd stroke out and be ded already.
what lack of full closure means? It means the blood flows backwards after the heart beats because the valave doesnt close after the beat?
 
what lack of full closure means? It means the blood flows backwards after the heart beats because the valave doesnt close after the beat?
It's like not a hard enough push. Think about a rowing oar that doesn't push hard enough to move the boat. or like a car with missing piston rings, = no compression.

Like super low blood pressure.
 
It's like not a hard enough push. Think about a rowing oar that doesn't push hard enough to move the boat. or like a car with missing piston rings, = no compression.

Like super low blood pressure.
So its like the blood flows super slowly through the body?
 
So its like the blood flows super slowly through the body?
Basically. My circulation isn't doing its job so I "gas out" and have to take a breaks to reoxygenate my blood for the next efforts.
 
Brutal bro. You're appreciated here anyway.
 
Basically. My circulation isn't doing its job so I "gas out" and have to take a breaks to reoxygenate my blood for the next efforts.
did you already speak to doctors about it?
 

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