It's 4 am and I've been sitting here watching YouTube videos of incels for the last hour. Every one I watch causes unbearable pain as it serves as a reminder of what my future holds for me. According to one of the videos, when a man hits 20 and has never had a girlfriend and is a virgin, his chances of ever finding a wife or even have a girlfriend become extremely low. Well, I'm almost there while meeting both criteria. I don't see it changing either. My entire life no girl has ever liked me (yet they like to lie to and use me) and it kills me everyday. It honestly feels like I can't even breathe, like there are walls closing in around me. Life truly is miserable being ugly and pathetic, and it makes it far worse knowing it never even began.
