Cold approach journal of a 28-year-old virgin

[Colin]

Over the past couple of years, I've dabbled in cold approach in the pursuit of at least some kind of romantic/sexual activity in my life. So far, my attempts have proved fruitless. As the title says, I'm still a virgin at 28 and have never been in a romantic relationship. I read a little about cold approach and started putting it into practice a couple of years ago, but in that time I've only done 67 approaches (and only 65 girls, having managed to approach two of them twice!) - a pretty poor return, so now I'm looking to rack up the approaches and document my progress or lack thereof.

I've seen guys on here saying they've done over 1,000 approaches with little or no success, and I can see myself going the same way. In all honesty, I know that realistically the chance of me ever getting a girlfriend is extremely slim, but at least if I can rack up a large volume of approaches I can say I tried. If I can't get one girl out of 1,000, I think it's time to pack it in.

If anyone has suggestions of particularly challenging scenarios in which to approach girls that aren't likely to get me beaten up or arrested, feel free to suggest them and I might try them. If nothing else we can get a laugh out of the awkwardness that's likely to ensue.

 

[thePhantom]

"and only 65 girls, having managed to approach two of them twice!" How did they react? (Good luck though, may you have the tenacity of U @uninstall)

 

[Colin]

The first one was a super cute girl who worked at my local shopping centre - the first time I tried to speak to her she didn't stop but the second time when I told her I liked her she was very happy and receptive; not sure if she remembered me.

The second one said "you did this before" but she was totally cool about it and we both got a laugh out of it.

Guess it shows there's no point worrying if you see them again after you've been rejected!

 

[Erenor]

You have to find out what is going wrong there, or there will be a lot more failiures. At least you have the confidence to approach girls though.

the second time when I told her I liked her she was very happy and receptive; not sure if she remembered me.

sounds good, how did this one eventually fail?

 

[IHateMySelf]

Cold approach do not work. You will fail and womens will think that you are autistic.

 

[Colin]

You have to find out what is going wrong there, or there will be a lot more failiures. At least you have the confidence to approach girls though.

Unfortunately I think a big part of it is looks. While I wouldn't say I'm particularly hideous or anything, I'm certainly not model material either. Realistically, unless you're exceptionally good looking, you're going to encounter a lot of failure with cold approach. You're right though - it's essential to analyse what I've done wrong and try to get better.

sounds good, how did this one eventually fail?

She was one of my first approaches, and with my lack of experience, unfortunately the next thing that came into my brain to say to her was to ask her if she had a boyfriend and she said she did.

 

[Bagelcel]

Whats your
-Height
-Face /10
-Hows your frame
-Race

 

[Colin]

- 6'4" (I'm lucky in this regard but also the walking refutal of "women go for tall guys")
- 5/10
- Do you mean in terms of physical posture? It's hard to say without seeing myself approach but I try to walk and stand purposefully and confidently, making sure shoulders aren't slouched etc.
- White

 

[Percolator]

- 6'4" (I'm lucky in this regard but also the walking refutal of "women go for tall guys")
- 5/10
- Do you mean in terms of physical posture? It's hard to say without seeing myself approach but I try to walk and stand purposefully and confidently, making sure shoulders aren't slouched etc.
- White

How awkward are you ? Are you neurotypical ?

 

[Deleted member 3291]

- 6'4"
- 5/10
- White

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA

 

[reeve23]

Pick one

>6'4
5/10
white


> incel

 

[ControlledInsanity]

Meanwhile, girls need to do exactly 0 "cold approaches" (they needn't even worry naming their tactics) to get what you are trying to pursue.

 

[reeve23]

Meanwhile, girls need to do exactly 0 "cold approaches" (they needn't even worry naming their tactics) to get what you are trying to pursue.

That's not their game. Getting sex for girls is as easy as breathing.


Their whole point is to get Chad to commit and they have to put "effort" in that (mainly just remaining virgin, not being a bitch and cooking/cleaning/obeying him) yet they still fail.

JFL

 

[ControlledInsanity]

That's not their game. Getting sex for girls is as easy as breathing.


Their whole point is to get Chad to commit and they have to put "effort" in that (mainly just remaining virgin, not being a bitch and cooking/cleaning/obeying him) yet they still fail.

JFL

Right, I almost forget the game is entirely different with Nintendo Super Guide™ mode enabled.

 

[monkeyman]

Women are not open to being approached by average men, much less ugly ones.

If you really want a girlfriend your best bet is to look within your social circle. Ask your siblings or cousins to introduce you to women instead of - as FaceandLMS so brilliantly put it - panhandling for pussy. Cold approach seems like a lot of fun if there's at least a small chance, say 1-2%, that it will surely lead to sex. But your chances are in fact close to 0, as demonstrated by numerous online dating studies.

Sorry man, approaching randoms in real life is no more effective than it is online unless you've got the looks. Women feel a sense of shame when some dopey low status male watzes into her space, no matter how sweet his personality or how pure his intentions might be. No offense, but that's how they feel aboutcha.

 

[gstvtrp]

Sorry man, approaching randoms in real life is no more effective than it is online unless you've got the looks. Women feel a sense of shame when some dopey low status male watzes into her space, no matter how sweet his personality or how pure his intentions might be. No offense, but that's how they feel aboutcha.

brutal blackpill.

fml. How many times have I done just that now?

 

[Erenor]

Realistically, unless you're exceptionally good looking, you're going to encounter a lot of failure with cold approach.

Where do you cold approach? Do you also go to parties, bars, etc.? Might be more easy there because that's one of the reasons these places even exist

 

[Colin]

All my approaches have been in what would be called 'daygame' settings - the street, shopping centres, shops, train stations - as opposed to more traditional venues for this sort of thing.

I'm naturally introverted and don't like house parties, bars, clubs etc. which I suppose doesn't help my chances.

 

[Evildoer]

- 6'4" (I'm lucky in this regard but also the walking refutal of "women go for tall guys")
- 5/10
- Do you mean in terms of physical posture? It's hard to say without seeing myself approach but I try to walk and stand purposefully and confidently, making sure shoulders aren't slouched etc.
- White

Fakecel detected.

 

[EthnicelNL]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA

FUCKING THIS. OP is failing life on supereasy mode fuckkkkkkkkk

JBW IN ASIA JBW JBW JBW

 

[PersonalityChad]

- 6'4" (I'm lucky in this regard but also the walking refutal of "women go for tall guys")
- 5/10
- Do you mean in terms of physical posture? It's hard to say without seeing myself approach but I try to walk and stand purposefully and confidently, making sure shoulders aren't slouched etc.
- White

Fakecel. NTmaxx or if you have a shit face just run JBW game in asia

 

[FiveFourManlet]

- 6'4" (I'm lucky in this regard but also the walking refutal of "women go for tall guys")
- 5/10
- Do you mean in terms of physical posture? It's hard to say without seeing myself approach but I try to walk and stand purposefully and confidently, making sure shoulders aren't slouched etc.
- White

Blackpill: you probably are not 5/10 if you found your way here.

 

[San Salvador]

>cold approaching as a truecel

Take this L, you poor dumb thing

 

[big nose bug eyes]

Based on your stats you don't sound like a truecel or even incel BUT I don't know what you mean by 5/10, if 5/10 is average or ugly for you.

You're better off finding a friend's circle somewhere. .

 

[CopingGymcel]

Women are not open to being approached by average men, much less ugly ones.

If you really want a girlfriend your best bet is to look within your social circle. Ask your siblings or cousins to introduce you to women instead of - as FaceandLMS so brilliantly put it - panhandling for pussy. Cold approach seems like a lot of fun if there's at least a small chance, say 1-2%, that it will surely lead to sex. But your chances are in fact close to 0, as demonstrated by numerous online dating studies.

Sorry man, approaching randoms in real life is no more effective than it is online unless you've got the looks. Women feel a sense of shame when some dopey low status male watzes into her space, no matter how sweet his personality or how pure his intentions might be. No offense, but that's how they feel aboutcha.

This so much.

As a 5 or below, you either look for a girlfriend through social circle or take some very flattering pictures and use them for online dating, and hope that a few of the women you meet won't make up an excuse to leave. Those are your two best options.

If you're a 6 PSL, you can begin to incorporate night game, but you'll have to mostly go after the 4s if you want any success.

7 PSL and you can do anything really, but you'll still face a lot of rejection if you approach women during the day.

8 and above and you're a demigod to women. Do whatever you want, get laid.

 

[Dr. Rothschild]

- 6'4"
- 5/10
- White

>28 yr old virgin
I don't see how this is even possible

 

[Colin]

Managed the grand total of 1 approach today - a 40-year-old blonde, 6/10. Not as hot as the girls I usually approach, but that's not a fair comparison as they're pretty much always in their 20s. Still looked decent for her age and seemed friendly enough but not really interested. No potential there anyway as the experience gap between me and someone a few years younger would be big enough nevermind someone 12 years older.

68 approaches, 0 dates, 0 lays, 0 GFs.

 

[VileGeneticTrash]

OP putting to bed the just be tall and JBW copes. When will you guys get it? Women want nothing to do with tall men who aren't attractive. I'm about as tall as OP and women are disinterested to the point I've gotten IODs (Indicators Of Disgust). Granted I'm not close to a 5/10 like OP, but I'm not surprised he has no success. Women want attractive men, nothing else matters. Give me a handsome face and I'll gladly become 5'6.

 

[Colin]

6 approaches today.

1. Instant rejection.

2. Instant bitchy rejection - she angrily glared at me and quickly went over to her friend.

3. Instant rejection.

4. Rejection but she was a bit more friendly and didn't walk off within 10 seconds for a change - but only because she was waiting for her boyfriend at the train station.

5. Instant rejection. By this point I decided to start talking absolute nonsense to self-amuse:
"Hey! Do you remember me? We were in the same woodwork class."
She looked at me with a look of utter confusion.
"No, I'm kidding, I just thought you looked nice."
Walked off looking at me like I was a nutjob.

6. Used the woodwork class line again to a girl in the train station. Confusion and instant rejection again.

74 approaches, 0 dates, 0 lays, 0 GFs.

To the guys who have done this 1,000+ times, I salute you. To have the stamina to face rejection after rejection after rejection and keep coming back is hugely admirable. I've always thought of 1,000 approaches as the benchmark - if you can do 1,000 approaches, even if it doesn't lead anywhere, at least you can say you've given it a right good shot, and if I can't get 1 girl out of 1,000, it's surely time to call it a day. Right now, though, the idea of ever reaching 1,000 approaches seems extremely unrealistic. All this is doing for me is reinforcing the notion that girls want absolutely nothing to do with me. Every rejection hammers home the belief that I have about as much chance of getting a girlfriend from this (or any other means) as I do being the next man on the moon. There are guys on here with the reference experience of over 1,000 approaches with no success - why should I be any different if I ever get to that volume of approaches?

I will go out and approach again, but it's hard to see it as anything other than a complete waste of time. I was walking around in the rain for hours getting rejected time after time after time. I don't know what long-term effect the rejections will have on me - whether I become so accustomed to it that I'm virtually immune or whether it will lead to anger and resentment building up. The latter hasn't happened yet - I just feel apathetic right now more than anything, and to this day I've never reacted angrily to a rejection; even today I responded to the bitchy rejection by laughing and walking away. I honestly don't know what will become of this. Stay tuned, I guess.

 

[CopingGymcel]

Why even approach random foids during the day as an incel? It's clearly not very effective.

You're much better off installing Tinder and frauding your pics a little.

 

[chudur-budur]

- 6'4"
- 5/10
- White

> 65+ approaches: 0 output

 

[ticktock]

cold approaching is pointless if the girl isn't attracted

girls can easily use tinder if they want to find their looks match

 

[chudur-budur]

Blackpill: you probably are not 5/10 if you found your way here.

Also THIS^^^

or OP is approaching way above his leagues (8+/10) and excluding ethnics completely.

 

[CopingGymcel]

> 65+ approaches: 0 output

He is clearly overrating himself or he is extremely autistic.

Remember, most guys think they are about a 7, so imagine what someone who thinks he is a 5 is.

cold approaching is pointless if the girl isn't attracted

girls can easily use tinder if they want to find their looks match

Girls don't go after the looksmatch on Tinder, they go above. That's what it's for, for foids to find themselves prince charming to fuck them in all their holes and then leave.

 

[uninstall]

keep killing it

by the way you are writing - i can tell you are telling the truth - there are some nuances that only those who have approached can sense

join me on the path to destruction

 

[happiless]

He is clearly overrating himself or he is extremely autistic.

This. I was about to guess autism since even I am not that clueless despite my mild autism, but he's 6'4 and white so it's easy to understand his confusion.

So welcome OP, here's a blackpill 101 for you: Face > height

 

[CopingGymcel]

This. I was about to guess autism since even I am not that clueless despite my mild autism, but he's 6'4 and white so it's easy to understand his confusion.

So welcome OP, here's a blackpill 101 for you: Face > height

He should change his target to ethnic foids tbh. Just approach any 4+ ethnic foid he sees. I am willing to guess he is only approaching white foids right now apart from some high tier ethnics.

 

[Colin]

or OP is approaching way above his leagues (8+/10) and excluding ethnics completely.

The girls I'm approaching are without doubt more physically attractive than me - I usually go for 7+/10s. I know that's probably ambitious, but the way I see it is that if I have to put in so much effort, I want it to be worth it - I don't want a girl that I don't even find attractive.

He is clearly overrating himself or he is extremely autistic.

Remember, most guys think they are about a 7, so imagine what someone who thinks he is a 5 is.

To me, 5/10 would be 'average at best/on a good day', which I think best describes me. But as someone said earlier, the fact that I've ended up here, as well as the fact most girls instantly walk away...maybe I'm being generous.

 

[CopingGymcel]

The girls I'm approaching are without doubt more physically attractive than me - I usually go for 7+/10s. I know that's probably ambitious, but the way I see it is that if I have to put in so much effort, I want it to be worth it - I don't want a girl that I don't even find attractive.

Why are you so stupid? YOU ARE A 28 YEAR OLD VIRGIN. Do you know how fucked that is? 28 fucking years old. You need to lose your virginity right now and not try to meet some fairly tale Stacy who will see past your subpar looks and agree to a date with you and then love you forver. That is NEVER going to happen. You need to lower your standards, get some experience and then perhaps try your luck with the 7/10 girls. I am not telling you to start approaching ugly girls, but AT LEAST lower it to 5/10, preferably 4/10 if you want to get laid.

No wonder you guys (you and U @uninstall) are getting rejected every single approach, you are shooting way outside of your league. 5/10 + 7/10 is very possible, but those couples meet within their social circle or work, not by some approach during the day.

You're like one of those street sellers, stopping people going about their day, trying to sell them a piece of turd that they do not want.

If I ever got so desperate I went outside to approach foids during the day, I would approach 4+ and stay away from foids way out of my league unless they gave me an IOI too good to ignore.

You need to start being realistic and going after girls of similar "value" (looks) to your own.

To me, 5/10 would be 'average at best/on a good day', which I think best describes me. But as someone said earlier, the fact that I've ended up here, as well as the fact most girls instantly walk away...maybe I'm being generous.

"5/10 on a good day" = 4/10.

 

[Zesto]

6 approaches today.

1. Instant rejection.

2. Instant bitchy rejection - she angrily glared at me and quickly went over to her friend.

3. Instant rejection.

4. Rejection but she was a bit more friendly and didn't walk off within 10 seconds for a change - but only because she was waiting for her boyfriend at the train station.

5. Instant rejection. By this point I decided to start talking absolute nonsense to self-amuse:
"Hey! Do you remember me? We were in the same woodwork class."
She looked at me with a look of utter confusion.
"No, I'm kidding, I just thought you looked nice."
Walked off looking at me like I was a nutjob.

6. Used the woodwork class line again to a girl in the train station. Confusion and instant rejection again.

74 approaches, 0 dates, 0 lays, 0 GFs.

To the guys who have done this 1,000+ times, I salute you. To have the stamina to face rejection after rejection after rejection and keep coming back is hugely admirable. I've always thought of 1,000 approaches as the benchmark - if you can do 1,000 approaches, even if it doesn't lead anywhere, at least you can say you've given it a right good shot, and if I can't get 1 girl out of 1,000, it's surely time to call it a day. Right now, though, the idea of ever reaching 1,000 approaches seems extremely unrealistic. All this is doing for me is reinforcing the notion that girls want absolutely nothing to do with me. Every rejection hammers home the belief that I have about as much chance of getting a girlfriend from this (or any other means) as I do being the next man on the moon. There are guys on here with the reference experience of over 1,000 approaches with no success - why should I be any different if I ever get to that volume of approaches?

I will go out and approach again, but it's hard to see it as anything other than a complete waste of time. I was walking around in the rain for hours getting rejected time after time after time. I don't know what long-term effect the rejections will have on me - whether I become so accustomed to it that I'm virtually immune or whether it will lead to anger and resentment building up. The latter hasn't happened yet - I just feel apathetic right now more than anything, and to this day I've never reacted angrily to a rejection; even today I responded to the bitchy rejection by laughing and walking away. I honestly don't know what will become of this. Stay tuned, I guess.

Street approaches are completely retarded. Would never do or recommend those.

Go to some gathering place or something.

 

[Observer237]

Cold approaches during the day are stupid. People are busy. Would you like to be interrupted during your day by someone trying to sell you something? No, you wouldn't. If you're going to do cold approaches, at least do them someplace where people want to buy -- a bar, a club -- that kind of thing. There you have the advantage of the fact that the people you're approaching are looking for a date/relationship. Even a bookstore -- if you're a reader -- because there is always a connection between two people when they both like to read.

In fact, if you do like to read a bookstore might be your best bet -- it's a quick way to form a connection that goes beyond physical appearance. It's hard to do that in a bar or a club because attractiveness -- or the lack thereof -- is the first thing people notice there. In a bookstore, if you pick a girl who's looking at stuff in a genre you like, you have an instant conversation starter as well as something in common.

Sorry. I didn't mean to ramble.

 

[KV-]

Pick one

>6'4
5/10
white


> incel

 

[chudur-budur]

The girls I'm approaching are without doubt more physically attractive than me - I usually go for 7+/10s. I know that's probably ambitious, but the way I see it is that if I have to put in so much effort, I want it to be worth it - I don't want a girl that I don't even find attractive.

If a homeless man decides to ride only Lamborghini instead of a bus then he needs to walk.

 

[KilluminoidBR]

- 6'4" (I'm lucky in this regard but also the walking refutal of "women go for tall guys")
- 5/10
- Do you mean in terms of physical posture? It's hard to say without seeing myself approach but I try to walk and stand purposefully and confidently, making sure shoulders aren't slouched etc.
- White

Then you are not a truecel and isnt your looks that is locking you.

 

[CopingGymcel]

Then you are not a truecel and isnt your looks that is locking you.

Well he is only approaching Stacies, so no wonder he is getting constantly rejected. It's almost as if he is setting himself up for rejection on purpose.

I don't see how he can't picture himself in a happy relationship with a 5, how is that so hard? How low T do you have to be to not find the average foid attractive? As men we are hardwired to find the vast majority of foids attractive.

I'm personally attracted to almost all foids who aren't too old or too young. You'd have to be pretty disgusting looking as a foid for me not to find you at least somewhat fuckable.

 

[BlackpilledTruecel]

move to thailand and be a slayer instead of the west

 

[KilluminoidBR]

Well he is only approaching Stacies, so no wonder he is getting constantly rejected. It's almost as if he is setting himself up for rejection on purpose.

I don't see how he can't picture himself in a happy relationship with a 5, how is that so hard? How low T do you have to be to not find the average foid attractive? As men we are hardwired to find the vast majority of foids attractive.

I'm personally attracted to almost all foids who aren't too old or too young. You'd have to be pretty disgusting looking as a foid for me not to find you at least somewhat fuckable.

Yessssss Im attracted even to 4/10 females with big asses xD

 

[Colin]

Wasn't sure if I could bring myself to do approaches today after yesterday's repeated blow outs.

Decided - fuck it - today's a new day - get out there and get the reference experience.

Managed 3 approaches.

1. Blonde girl (7/10) with friend (4/10)
Walked up purposefully and confidently to the two of them and said, "guys, this is quite forward" before making eye contact with the blonde and saying "I thought you looked quite nice". Decent reaction - they stopped for a moment and she smiled - then I said "can I talk to you for one minute?" but she just said "sorry" and walked off.
+ Opening a girl who's not alone has always been more of a challenge so it's good to do so.
- My follow up was weak - I have a tendency to say "can I speak to you?" which sounds weak and permission seeking. Need to change that.

2. Brunette girl (6.5/10) - slightly curvier than the girls I tend to approach but face made up for it
I touched her gently on the shoulder to get her attention - first time I've done this. Said "I thought you looked quite nice" and she was happy and receptive but said she had a boyfriend. She genuinely liked being approached though - after doing enough approaches you can tell when they're genuinely pleased or when they just want you to get away.

3. Blonde girl (6/10) - opened with "Do you remember me?" Didn't go anywhere as she walked off before I got the chance to tell her I liked her.

The reactions today were a bit better than yesterday - at least it's good to know not every girl is repulsed by me. But I'm no further forward in terms of getting phone numbers or dates. Still, I came home with a spring in my step, unlike yesterday when I was in a bad mood. 9 approaches in 2 days is far more than I can usually manage - looking to get to 20 by the end of the week.

 

[Colin]

Time to kick start this.

I've never really had a proper prolonged stretch of solid consistent cold approaching, so now's as good a time as any. The plan is:

I will approach at least one girl every day in August.
I will approach at least 50 girls in August.

This all sounds very well, but do I actually expect it to lead anywhere? No. So far my reference experience has taught me to expect nothing but rejection and at best flakes. Still, it's worth a shot.

First approach of the month was in the mall today. Saw a girl, 8/10, walking towards me and stopped her. It was only after I saw her name badge and got a proper look at her face that I realised she was a girl I'd already approached a few months ago. JFL.

Great start.

 

[Colin]

2 approaches today.

Standard response from both victims - "oh, thanks" with an uneasy smile before walking off and "sorry, I need to go" while walking off.

Going to be a looooong ass month.