Defetivecuckachu
EVERYONE gets a Handmaid!
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Joined: March 25, 2024
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Who cares?I turned 41 recently, and I've been on here 12 months, so I've decided it's time I bit the bullet and made an inceldom discussion post. I want to lay out some of my opinions and perspectives, that are a bit different than a lot of the common orthodoxy on here, most of which is written by grieving, angry young men.
Some of this might seem inflammatory, but you will live.
The main headline points are:
1. I have never hated women
2. Wilkes McDermid vs Elliot Roger vs Christopher Swanson, and what we can learn from them.
3. Why you should never rope, and the way in which life gets better, not worse, even for an oldcel like me.
1. I have never hated women for rejecting me.
Not individual women who actually received advances from me and rejected me. And not "women" in general, either as some oppressive blanket force of nature, or as some organized conspiracy against me.
The only explanation I can give is I have always internalized and owned the failure of my attempts to seek sex or romance. I don't seem to have what women want, and that must mean there's something wrong with me, or something that's not quite enough about me.
That's a very hard thing for a teenager or a young man in his early 20s to be confronted by. It is devastating and the weight of it can be at times crushing. But it's never made me angry. An angry reaction just doesn't make sense to me. A simple thought experiment is helpful here: If someone I felt zero attraction for wanted me, and I was oblivious to that or actually said no to it, would it be fair that they were angry at me for not feeling what I don't feel?
In saying this, I was pretty shy as a young person and I don't think I was ever very competent at meeting new people and approaching the possibility of new things openly. So all of the actual rejections I can remember from my youth, were women I met, and lived or worked or studied around. And over a period of time I convinced myself she was wonderful, and I wanted her, and I loved her. This would include a lot of daydreams and fanciful imagination about what a perfect future with me and her together might look like.
And then like a fool I would tell her how I felt, hoping that she felt the same and was waiting for me to say something. Invariably she didn't feel the same way about me, and didn't want any of that.
The first one of those, took me about 6 months to get over. The second one took me about 4 years, that was the worst one. I really thought she was pretty special, and having seen she existed I didn't think I could live without her. Both of these were during my university years. Afterwards, I learned to test the waters with women but never again made that mistake of getting ahead of things and falling into unrequited love.
Prior to that time, High School gave me a bit of a premonition that sex and the attention and desire of women might not happen for me. I saw that first, around the ages of 15 or 16, one or two boys were talking about having girlfriends and/or having sex. Then quite a few were talking about it. Then a majority seemed to be having these experiences, and I was an outlier in not having them. But I had good friends at high school, and I had the crutch of supportive parental expectations that I was one of the "bright" kids and I would move away and study and some kind of bright future would happen to me.
So I was never embarrassed, humiliated, cheated or wronged by women. They were just unobtainable, and that made me sad, not angry.
2. Wilkes McDermid vs Elliot Rodger vs Christopher Swanson, and what we can learn from them.
I just straight up don't like Elliot Rodger. So there.
He was a nasty, self-obsessed, narcissistic killer. He wrote about his feelings well but i find nothing to admire in his attitude that he is owed certain things, and it is reasonable for him to hurt and kill people at random as some kind of justice for his situation. Perhaps somebody whose dog died should have punished him with a bullet? Perhaps somebody who had their BMW repossessed by the finance company should have punished him with a bullet?
He was a good looking, spoiled child. He showed precious little insight into how the world is or the reasons why. His message of blame and recrimination and random extreme violence is not helpful to anyone.
Wilkes McDermid is a much better "Saint" for inceldom. When I first read his final blog https://wilkes888.wordpress.com/2013/02/08/my-final-blog-entry-love-you-all/ it was a great moment, seeing ideas similar to my own written so well.
If you're not familiar with his thesis, the core of it is that women are genetically programmed to seek out high-quality males to mate with. He identified 3 main selection criteria, and theorized that you need at least two of the three to succeed:
1. Height
2. White (or black)
3. Wealth, or some other manifestation of power.
Personally I think his insistence on these 3 and only these 3 is a bit misguided and there is in reality a smorgasbord of desirable male traits that women will choose from. But I think he is spot on in saying that women are driven by primordial evolutionary drivers when they apply the criteria they apply in sorting males by quality and identifying them as worthy or unworthy.
He was also such a gentleman, in the way he tried to absolve his female friendzoners of any blame or guilt by explicitly saying that he understands this is just a natural behaviour that humans do. I admire that.
The fact that he was a popular and liked guy, with a big social circle and successful in other fields, and yet still incel, was something more people on here should reflect on IMHO. The way that he kept his struggles largely to himself, and looked after his friendships, and had a proper sense of adult behaviour and manners, and achieved most of his goals in life, is something that I admire. The way he owned his issues like a man, is something I admire. And while I wish he hadn't jumped, I admire the resolution with which he decided to do it, and did it.
And then there is Christopher Swanson, a 40yo high school teacher oldcel whose spectacular and catastrophic downfall should serve as a warning. About what happens if you fail to learn the real lessons.
He failed to experience the devastation of missing out on young love, in the way that Elliott Rodger fully experienced it.
And he failed to learn the real lesson that Wilkes McDermid learned from his experiences and his research: that beyond a certain point your rejection is an entirely predictable, natural process, not something that should catch a 40yo grown man by surprise and spin him out of control.
So by failing to learn those lessons, he caught a bluepilled deluded oneitis for a 17yo schoolgirl in one of his classes, and that led to him being brushed off by her, and struck off as a teacher, and humiliated, and eventually to suicide.
3. Why I haven't followed any of those infamous, dead incels
Almost all incel writing has a common problem. Men don't talk, or write, about their feelings, until they're really REALLY fucked up about something. Then they pour their little hearts out in some mega grief fuelled meltdown. So a lot of incel writing, comes from the heat of the moment and it reads like inceldom is all there is. ER's manifesto is certainly like that. Swanson's website is so stricken with grief that all of his success in his career is merely a sick footnote to the real story; that this dumb teenager didn't want him.
That's a terrible role model for young virgins. Because inceldom really isn't the only thing in your life, and convincing yourself that it is, is an incredibly destructive thing to do.
I've been very fortunate for a few reasons. One, the time I attempted suicide, failed dismally because the act of doing the cutting was far too painful to persist with. But standing right on the edge of the abyss and making that decision to step off, is a moment of finality you can't understand unless you've experienced it. Living after that does show you the value of things differently.
I've also been lucky to have good family around me. I'm pretty close to my sister and I love being uncle to her little children. They make me feel like whatever may happen to me, there is some small legacy of me going into the future in them. One of them has even learned to read music because I planted the idea in them and showed them some basics.
I'm lucky teenaged oneitis didn't destroy my ability to keep performing at school and get my degree. Today I'm reasonably competent in my profession and I'm pretty good at teaching young grads the ropes. They seem to appreciate it and my employers do too. That's a real source of personal validation. If I was my age and flipping burgers I doubt I'd be as happy as I am.
I really don't know if sex drive diminishes with age, or if perspective just improves. There was a wonderful moment a few years ago, I can remember it. I woke up on a Saturday morning, and there was sun streaming in my window, and I had a bunch of things planned that I wanted to get up and do. And it really hit me: I don't feel totally crushed and miserable by my inceldom. Life just is what it is, and right now it feels ok. That was a good feeling.
Of course it's not a total panacea, and there are still suifuel moments that remind me strongly of all the things I don't have and threaten to take me back into the grief state. But you get better at coping with that stuff, and you get better at avoiding and shielding yourself from stuff you know is harder to cope with. I don't go to town on Saturday night. I don't go to dinner with couples. I don't go to weddings if I can avoid it.
That feeling of peace, is why I haven't roped and I honestly don't believe I will. There will always be a bit of sadness there, that I didn't have that whole life I imagined I wanted. But there's good stuff too in spite of that. There's enough good stuff that the sadness is tolerable.
4: a piece of unsolicited advice.
I'm old enough that my friends are fucking up their marriages and getting divorced. It is fascinating to see the divorcee dating phenomenon. There is one clear lesson from it. I'm not getting involved because little has changed except for the details of what people make small talk about. Women don't lower their standards, and they don't settle. What this means, it means two things.
The cock carousel being followed by resignation and beta burning, is cope. Women don't settle for beta bux, they are genetically programmed to seek whatever their concept of Chad is, that doesn't change.
But this also means, that if you do manage to meet someone in later life who seems into you, it's probably real and you should go for it IMHO. All the advice you get on here about betabuxx and roast beef and the cock carousel from 16yo "truecels" is terrible advice and it is ignorant advice. A bunch of my university friends lost their virginities in their 20s and they are happy today. One of my high school buddies fucked heaps of women at university, married the girl of his dreams, and that lasted 4 years. Today he's married to someone uglier but cooler and he's happy.
Unicorns exist, and you should always remain open to possibilities. While keeping your expectations firmly based in Wilkes McDermid's understanding of the blackpill, that women are generally looking for certain things, and it's no secret what those are.
dnr
Please jump from a bridge
dnr
Please jump from a bridge
Solid and very interesting thread. This is what most incels need, a mid-way between the blackpill knowledge and a healthy, functioning mind.
I don't specifically advice the most combative incels to stop hating women, but I'd just encourage them to think about what is the best way to stay high-functioning instead of miserable. If venting their anger here and larping as edgelords makes their existence more bearable, then I actually encourage them to do it.
Taking advantage of the fact this is kind of a whitepill thread, I'd say that the common conception of whitepill isn't for everyone. Not all people can just resign themselves to their fate and make peace with their destiny, this is simply not it. Rather, I'd say everyone can build their own personal version of whitepill. The whitepill is, in fact, the cope that is most efficient to alleviate the pain caused by inceldom, and for some that is venting their anger online 24/7, for some is moneymaxxing, for others it is focusing on other hobbies etc. But the main point of whitepill is that it seeks to improve your QoL despite your inceldom. For that reason I don't really care if some incels idolize ER for example, all we can do is give them some awareness of the potential brainrot associated, and let them choose for themselves how to cope (tbh even I write these ironic comments sometimes).
It's interesting how even when you present arguments in a friendly way, they are mostly incapable of acknowledging basic truths. There's so much data available about how looks and dating success correlate, yet they prefer to have magical beliefs (personality is more important, everyone finds someone eventually) just to not admit something wrong about themselves.
Who cares?
Ever since high school I've begun understanding my genetics predisposed me to being a natural loser, I'm nearing 22 now and have mostly been rotting at home ever since graduating. It's so ingrained in my mind at this point that 'no one in particular' is responsible for my problems, it's like 'water is wet' to me; I agree with Wilkes' explanation of the situation. I don't even belive in free will anymore.
I don't specifically hate women, but I'm aware most normies look down on me on an instinctual level so I can understand why a lot of incels think women and normies are conspiring on their downfall, but that just means the system/society is working. Months ago, I would have agreed with you about Elliot, what Elliot did was socially unacceptable and hurt people who did nothing to him-- infringing on the normies. I've come to believe we're all entities and groups displacing others with our own will. There is a hierarchy and we're at the bottom, so naturally we're the ones being swept at the whim of others. Elliot's day of retribution was the only way he could end up coming on top of normies, even if for just a moment although he did immortalize his name. Whether or not people like us decide to respect the hierarchy and play along makes little difference, you'll **maybe* get good boy points for cucking and repercussions for refusing-- it just depends on the type of person you are. Elliot refused to cuck, he had an aristocratic spirit unlike a slave. Personally, I've begun detaching from normie morality and social expectations.
Social virtues like being polite or being a 'gentleman' mean nothing beyond being a docile to avoid toe-stepping like a slave-- which Elliot probably realized after considering himself a gentleman for a while, but you still seem to objectively view it as good in the eyes of the universe. Nothing is good or bad; right or wrong, only good for X and bad for Y.
Thanks, I'll ascend with a cute girl on your behalf then live happily ever after.Fair. And we'll said.
FWIW, my 5 buddies and me at university were all 100% khhv weirdo uggo nerd social outcasts... but fast-forward to late 20s and three of "us" had somehow ascended and were enjoying a full life with all of the things.
So time is on your side, please don't completely shut yourself off to the possibility that a miracle might happen!
LOL. Only an oldcel would take a comment with the obvious intention of shitposting seriously. Is not having a sense of humor one of the signs that one is old? Because if it is, then you should put a bullet in your brain, because you ain’t have anything to live for, grandpa.You've only commented 67 times in almost a year and a half. (A level of self-restraint that more GrAYfags should strive for imo.)
And one of those times was to comment in my thread! That makes me think that obviously you do care.
I'm sorry if discussing my inceldom in the Inceldom discussion section is a problem for you.
Wait; no I'm not.
LOL. Only an oldcel would take a comment with the obvious intention of shitposting seriously. Is not having a sense of humor one of the signs that one is old? Because if it is, then you should put a bullet in your brain, because you ain’t have anything to live for, grandpa.
Just be a father figure on an incel form bro!
oldcels don’t realize just how miserable it is being a none chad zoomer male
“UMM LISTEN UP KIDS AM A 45 YEAR OLD CEL AND MY WISDOM STATES THAT YOU SHOULD NOT HATE FOIDS AND FIND OUT WHAT TO COPE WITH”Absolutely nobody wants to be your "father figure" man. It's not my fault my parents banged earlier than yours did.
Wait, are you saying that being an incel is worse for you than it is for me?
“UMM LISTEN UP KIDS AM A 45 YEAR OLD CEL AND MY WISDOM STATES THAT YOU SHOULD NOT HATE FOIDS AND FIND OUT WHAT TO COPE WITH”
and yes it is worse, Youngcels simply have it worse today compared to youngcels in the past (1980s,1990s ect)
SociatailReally?
Nobody wants to fuck you.
Nobody wants to fuck me.
Please explain how "it's worse" for you.
Compare the timelinesReally?
I'm not preaching how to think. This is just how I think. If people are interested, great. If not, that's fine, it would be a boring world if we were all the same.
Nobody wants to fuck you.
Nobody wants to fuck me.
Please explain how "it's worse" for you?
sam i dont hate women i just hate what they have become or maybe they were always like this and traditional times kept them under controlI turned 41 recently, and I've been on here 12 months, so I've decided it's time I bit the bullet and made an inceldom discussion post. I want to lay out some of my opinions and perspectives, that are a bit different than a lot of the common orthodoxy on here, most of which is written by grieving, angry young men.
Some of this might seem inflammatory, but you will live.
The main headline points are:
1. I have never hated women
2. Wilkes McDermid vs Elliot Roger vs Christopher Swanson, and what we can learn from them.
3. Why you should never rope, and the way in which life gets better, not worse, even for an oldcel like me.
1. I have never hated women for rejecting me.
Not individual women who actually received advances from me and rejected me. And not "women" in general, either as some oppressive blanket force of nature, or as some organized conspiracy against me.
The only explanation I can give is I have always internalized and owned the failure of my attempts to seek sex or romance. I don't seem to have what women want, and that must mean there's something wrong with me, or something that's not quite enough about me.
That's a very hard thing for a teenager or a young man in his early 20s to be confronted by. It is devastating and the weight of it can be at times crushing. But it's never made me angry. An angry reaction just doesn't make sense to me. A simple thought experiment is helpful here: If someone I felt zero attraction for wanted me, and I was oblivious to that or actually said no to it, would it be fair that they were angry at me for not feeling what I don't feel?
In saying this, I was pretty shy as a young person and I don't think I was ever very competent at meeting new people and approaching the possibility of new things openly. So all of the actual rejections I can remember from my youth, were women I met, and lived or worked or studied around. And over a period of time I convinced myself she was wonderful, and I wanted her, and I loved her. This would include a lot of daydreams and fanciful imagination about what a perfect future with me and her together might look like.
And then like a fool I would tell her how I felt, hoping that she felt the same and was waiting for me to say something. Invariably she didn't feel the same way about me, and didn't want any of that.
The first one of those, took me about 6 months to get over. The second one took me about 4 years, that was the worst one. I really thought she was pretty special, and having seen she existed I didn't think I could live without her. Both of these were during my university years. Afterwards, I learned to test the waters with women but never again made that mistake of getting ahead of things and falling into unrequited love.
Prior to that time, High School gave me a bit of a premonition that sex and the attention and desire of women might not happen for me. I saw that first, around the ages of 15 or 16, one or two boys were talking about having girlfriends and/or having sex. Then quite a few were talking about it. Then a majority seemed to be having these experiences, and I was an outlier in not having them. But I had good friends at high school, and I had the crutch of supportive parental expectations that I was one of the "bright" kids and I would move away and study and some kind of bright future would happen to me.
So I was never embarrassed, humiliated, cheated or wronged by women. They were just unobtainable, and that made me sad, not angry.
2. Wilkes McDermid vs Elliot Rodger vs Christopher Swanson, and what we can learn from them.
I just straight up don't like Elliot Rodger. So there.
He was a nasty, self-obsessed, narcissistic killer. He wrote about his feelings well but i find nothing to admire in his attitude that he is owed certain things, and it is reasonable for him to hurt and kill people at random as some kind of justice for his situation. Perhaps somebody whose dog died should have punished him with a bullet? Perhaps somebody who had their BMW repossessed by the finance company should have punished him with a bullet?
He was a good looking, spoiled child. He showed precious little insight into how the world is or the reasons why. His message of blame and recrimination and random extreme violence is not helpful to anyone.
Wilkes McDermid is a much better "Saint" for inceldom. When I first read his final blog https://wilkes888.wordpress.com/2013/02/08/my-final-blog-entry-love-you-all/ it was a great moment, seeing ideas similar to my own written so well.
If you're not familiar with his thesis, the core of it is that women are genetically programmed to seek out high-quality males to mate with. He identified 3 main selection criteria, and theorized that you need at least two of the three to succeed:
1. Height
2. White (or black)
3. Wealth, or some other manifestation of power.
Personally I think his insistence on these 3 and only these 3 is a bit misguided and there is in reality a smorgasbord of desirable male traits that women will choose from. But I think he is spot on in saying that women are driven by primordial evolutionary drivers when they apply the criteria they apply in sorting males by quality and identifying them as worthy or unworthy.
He was also such a gentleman, in the way he tried to absolve his female friendzoners of any blame or guilt by explicitly saying that he understands this is just a natural behaviour that humans do. I admire that.
The fact that he was a popular and liked guy, with a big social circle and successful in other fields, and yet still incel, was something more people on here should reflect on IMHO. The way that he kept his struggles largely to himself, and looked after his friendships, and had a proper sense of adult behaviour and manners, and achieved most of his goals in life, is something that I admire. The way he owned his issues like a man, is something I admire. And while I wish he hadn't jumped, I admire the resolution with which he decided to do it, and did it.
And then there is Christopher Swanson, a 40yo high school teacher oldcel whose spectacular and catastrophic downfall should serve as a warning. About what happens if you fail to learn the real lessons.
He failed to experience the devastation of missing out on young love, in the way that Elliott Rodger fully experienced it.
And he failed to learn the real lesson that Wilkes McDermid learned from his experiences and his research: that beyond a certain point your rejection is an entirely predictable, natural process, not something that should catch a 40yo grown man by surprise and spin him out of control.
So by failing to learn those lessons, he caught a bluepilled deluded oneitis for a 17yo schoolgirl in one of his classes, and that led to him being brushed off by her, and struck off as a teacher, and humiliated, and eventually to suicide.
3. Why I haven't followed any of those infamous, dead incels
Almost all incel writing has a common problem. Men don't talk, or write, about their feelings, until they're really REALLY fucked up about something. Then they pour their little hearts out in some mega grief fuelled meltdown. So a lot of incel writing, comes from the heat of the moment and it reads like inceldom is all there is. ER's manifesto is certainly like that. Swanson's website is so stricken with grief that all of his success in his career is merely a sick footnote to the real story; that this dumb teenager didn't want him.
That's a terrible role model for young virgins. Because inceldom really isn't the only thing in your life, and convincing yourself that it is, is an incredibly destructive thing to do.
I've been very fortunate for a few reasons. One, the time I attempted suicide, failed dismally because the act of doing the cutting was far too painful to persist with. But standing right on the edge of the abyss and making that decision to step off, is a moment of finality you can't understand unless you've experienced it. Living after that does show you the value of things differently.
I've also been lucky to have good family around me. I'm pretty close to my sister and I love being uncle to her little children. They make me feel like whatever may happen to me, there is some small legacy of me going into the future in them. One of them has even learned to read music because I planted the idea in them and showed them some basics.
I'm lucky teenaged oneitis didn't destroy my ability to keep performing at school and get my degree. Today I'm reasonably competent in my profession and I'm pretty good at teaching young grads the ropes. They seem to appreciate it and my employers do too. That's a real source of personal validation. If I was my age and flipping burgers I doubt I'd be as happy as I am.
I really don't know if sex drive diminishes with age, or if perspective just improves. There was a wonderful moment a few years ago, I can remember it. I woke up on a Saturday morning, and there was sun streaming in my window, and I had a bunch of things planned that I wanted to get up and do. And it really hit me: I don't feel totally crushed and miserable by my inceldom. Life just is what it is, and right now it feels ok. That was a good feeling.
Of course it's not a total panacea, and there are still suifuel moments that remind me strongly of all the things I don't have and threaten to take me back into the grief state. But you get better at coping with that stuff, and you get better at avoiding and shielding yourself from stuff you know is harder to cope with. I don't go to town on Saturday night. I don't go to dinner with couples. I don't go to weddings if I can avoid it.
That feeling of peace, is why I haven't roped and I honestly don't believe I will. There will always be a bit of sadness there, that I didn't have that whole life I imagined I wanted. But there's good stuff too in spite of that. There's enough good stuff that the sadness is tolerable.
4: a piece of unsolicited advice.
I'm old enough that my friends are fucking up their marriages and getting divorced. It is fascinating to see the divorcee dating phenomenon. There is one clear lesson from it. I'm not getting involved because little has changed except for the details of what people make small talk about. Women don't lower their standards, and they don't settle. What this means, it means two things.
The cock carousel being followed by resignation and beta burning, is cope. Women don't settle for beta bux, they are genetically programmed to seek whatever their concept of Chad is, that doesn't change.
But this also means, that if you do manage to meet someone in later life who seems into you, it's probably real and you should go for it IMHO. All the advice you get on here about betabuxx and roast beef and the cock carousel from 16yo "truecels" is terrible advice and it is ignorant advice. A bunch of my university friends lost their virginities in their 20s and they are happy today. One of my high school buddies fucked heaps of women at university, married the girl of his dreams, and that lasted 4 years. Today he's married to someone uglier but cooler and he's happy.
Unicorns exist, and you should always remain open to possibilities. While keeping your expectations firmly based in Wilkes McDermid's understanding of the blackpill, that women are generally looking for certain things, and it's no secret what those are.
Compare the timelines
Social decay, inflation, literally all gen Z foids are lesbians, more misandrist attitudes in society, dyrone nigbert shooting everyone, cost of living thru the roof, countless hours wasted on screen time, fake food, demographic decay and a thousand other reasons
Oh great more suffering to endureBut fortunately, time is on your side.
I, too, think am funny, grandpa. And I still think you should put a bullet through your brain. Would you like my like? In case you are too senile to do it yourself.I've got a great sense of humor!
For example, I think it's HILARIOUS that you think you're funny.
Soy overdose from reading this shit .
Look at that shitty post count boyo 3 years and you've done fuck all .Joined: Oct 12, 2024
Opinion totally rejected.
You've been here 5 minutes.
Know your place scum.
Look at that shitty post count boyo 3 years and you've done fuck all .
~Being a spamtranny who makes thousands of sewers comments within a few days, is hardly "doing things."
Get the fuck out of my thread, and take your worthless noise with you. You utter, utter cunt.