Robert Garnica = Princess_Kitty14. He's a pedo.
- Jan 2, 2023
Christopher Swain-Tran (Newbielurker) is a legendary fanfic author with one whole follower. In his spare time, he posts on Reddit and straw mans incels. He has a wife he no longer has the stamina to fuck, and with her lack of fluency in the English language, Swine-Blubber is left spending all day on Reddit and Doctor Who marathons. But he's just a tortured artist. He's so dedicated to his craft that he sometimes forgets to eat his 18th cheeseburger of the day.
See, this is what I'm talking about with "hobbies." Swain-Tran is obviously a horrid writer. Anybody who reads the first paragraph will immediately hit the back button. There are literal 4th graders who are better writers than him.
He's 37 (which is definitely "nearly 40," according to him), and he's not going to get any better at it. He doesn't have the talent. He has a low IQ and no knack for language.
But what else can he do? He obviously lacks discipline, as you can see by his physique. In fact, I surmise that the reason Mai hasn't left him yet is she can't get away from his gravitational pull. And of course, he went for her because he has always been attracted to soy sauce.
He's not going to take up tennis or basketball. He can't even golf, as he'd throw his back out.
He also has no social skills whatsoever. He had to go on OKCupid just to find Mai.
Swine-Blubber would do well just to LDAR. I suppose he could take up cooking, since he already enjoys eating, but he would probably try to "paraphrase" recipes.
"What are you talking about? 2 tablespoons of soy sauce is the same as 2 teaspoons of teriyaki sauce. It's literally the same thing!"
He could invite Princess_Kitty14/Robert Garnica over for dinner. Garnica would be excited just to be able to eat food other than cats and dogs.
Garnica is a starving Venezuelan, as you know. He's so hungry that he compares small penises to "dried oregano leaves."
Seems like a perfect match.