I wanted to study a lot, I was a curious nerd, I wanted to study about quantum mechanichs or biology, I wanted to contribute to the world, I wanted to earn money and travel, and I wanted to have a very active sexual life, I didn't necesarily want to get married tbh, but I wanted to experience love and intimacy.
Now I only want to survive, earn money just to avoid starvation, saving money just in case I have an accident and need to spend money on hospital, but I don't want to contribute to society because this society hasn't treated me right, this society doesn't deserve what I can offer, I hate society so much that I don't want to help it, I don't even want to vote, that's how much I really don't care anymore about society and politics.
Imagine if I contribute to society, imagine if I contribute to improve the lives of many men and women, just to have to see how those men and women thank me by enjoying the party of sex and intimacy without inviting me, just to see them still reject me forever.