kill people burn shit fuck school
- May 16, 2023
Felt the need to arrive because I came across an /adv/ thread on 4chan that just ruined my fucking day.
If you've been there you know it's just a place where men come to be vilified for expressing their relationship issues, but I just hit a breaking point with that shit. It was just some nigger telling OP to "get over it brah! It's not her issue! Youre a fucking loser!"
That's the thing to. Whenever some hole or "chad" mocks us it's filled with comments of support, but when we try to vent our issues, it's always 50/50!?
I can't help but feel like the answer to this is violence.
So, that's just that, I just want to converse within a place where I feel welcome to mitigate my doomscrolling habits.
Why I doomscroll? To fight the shit they put in my brain. Just when I think I'm set, they always have some shit to throw me off. It truly matters to me that I overcome this. Not in a way THEY want where they just tell me "get over it" and I just accept them walking all over me, but in a way where I can affirm my struggle against them without it having to affect my mental health too badly.
I just want to fucking matter.
Alas though, I'm a NEET who lives with my parents, don't really know how much time I have left. Don't work cause I'm uncertain if I have a future or not and by the time I figure it out maybe I'll realize that it all never mattered. (At least, that's how I deal with feeling like I'm in a rush).
I fear the day anyone I know finds out about this side of me. The only future I'm certain about is one of total war where I go out dying. I'm truly that fed up.
First falling out with a woman (romantic interest) was online. I don't talk about it much because of how the people around me responded, and all their adversarial reactions, and afraid of having it traced back to me. (Nevertheless I'm here though right?)
I don't know what help I needed at the time, I just know I did, and never got it. Women don't have to be asked what they want, why should I? Just figure it out, you know?
Anyway, I still feel the impact it's had on me even though it's been only 4 years, but I guess that was my "proto-incel" period. I never felt the need to identify, I still felt like it was in my hands-ish(?)
Idk, I still had insecurities back then and I do now. The difference is the mindset, I still felt somewhat welcomed by women. I always felt I had consent, but I saw this change over time, and so, my state of mind.
Anyways, the meat of this:
As my name implies, I feel like an incel now because my compulsion is demonized by many people to a point where I feel the need to hide my intentions with women. This in turn has discouraged my pursuit of a romantic interest as holes are keen to point out that reciprocating doesn't necessarily mean they like us. It seems the only way in is to denounce my individuality; I notice some men don't have this problem and it makes me wonder why. I've come to conclude that maybe they aren't real people, just extensions of these women, because the quality of what makes someone a human is an aversion to external authority, which they seem to be complete unfazed by.
But then that would be bullshit because wouldn't they want their presence immediately? Again, it really makes me wonder what those men are in for. I just can't understand why I wouldn't be entitled to the same servitude with the same demands they are.
We share the same mind and yet get treated differently? How the fuck do you justify that?!
My relationship with the blackpill is that of skeptic consideration. I believe it's hopeless but at the same time I don't. Hope this isn't a dealbreaker.
Genuinely, I'm still trying to figure it all out. I'm confused, I'm angry, and I'm afraid.
I feel like I have answers to some of the issues that plague me and men of similar ailments. I've yet to apply them to myself cause I don't wanna go out there alone.
I don't know what your policies are, but I'd appreciate if this was met with a few words from y'all. Just wanna feel welcome, that's it.
Felt like I've spent most of my time here just arguing with myself because of the stupid shit that keeps invading my mind.
I really really really dont fucking care how they justify treating me like shit. I am so fucking sick of being told it is my fault, and I am here to get away from that.
I don't know why it keeps saying I'm using an anonymizer; this is my home wifi.
It took 3 attempts for me to get it right, with each rejection demanding I say a bit more about myself, something I have trouble with.
I initially intended on making this my introduction when I first entered, but was too caught up in the discourse that I forgot about it.
I hope this lets everyone know that I'm here in good faith, and seek to make up for my lack of seniority here while I continue to integrate myself.
I notice parts of this introduction allures to what I've said in my prior posts; this has been on my mind for a while, and I hope to be able to say more. But first, I feel like I owe it all to you to let you know who I am.