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SuicideFuel There's ZERO chance for me to ever be happy

TheNEET

TheNEET

mentally crippled by sleepoverless teen years
★★★★★
Joined
May 27, 2018
Posts
11,369
Online
191d 5h 33m
Yesterday's dream completely ruined me and idk if I'll survive September at this rate, I keep busting into tears every time I don't flood myself with artificial dopamine via music or scrooolling thru random shit online. It wasn't even any massive suifuel by a sub-average person's standards. I only remember a few second snapshot of the dream where I was at some kind of My Little Pony convention and people were nice to me and we were casually chatting, everyone was friendly and, unlike irl, they didn't ignore me or clearly gave me signs they want me gone (if not straight-up insulted). I've been off codeine for like a month now, but I'm seriously considering getting some just to dull the pain.

Fuck sex, I missed even the most basic developmental milestones and I CAN'T EVER GET THAT BECAUSE AT 24 I'M TOO OLD AND MY LIFE IS OVER. I just want childhood friendship, filled with casual play and wonder. I can't even watch My Little Pony content without busting into tears, even going outside is dangerous because literal 8-year-olds on playground (or just on streets) mog the hell out of me.

I can't relive my childhood, teenhood or now even early 20s. At this point I can't pull "oh, I'm just a late bloomer", even if by some magical chance I could live thru some of these experiences, it would be a mere mockery: my body isn't as good as in my teens (I can't run around or eat whatever, because it'll hurt me) and every photo would be reminder that I'm a weird manchild trying his best to relive lost childhood, but it's not the same. Even guys from Brony groups agree that at my age the time of childhood fun is over, it's time to get serious with jobs, wives and shit.

I'll never go on an adventure, never have a sleepover, never discover my true passions and talent, because everyone is mean and unhelpful and my brain (and body from not much choice but rot inside) is probably severely damaged. The worst part is that it would literally cost normies NOTHING not to shit on me, not to reject me. Oftentimes they had much to gain by being friendly. I'm literally so starved for any bit of compassion and humane treatment that I tried joining small cult-ish churches TWICE in hopes of getting love-bombed at least (it didn't happen).

My expectations are so incredibly low and yet it only gets worse. This is a literal hell where EVERYONE is evil and all around me there is only content created by these evil people who wish to shit on everything good and nice. Even the most recent My Little Pony movie trailer (from today or yesterday) confirmed my fear that they'll portray all males as either evil or le funny comedic relief. Males can be either clowns, evil or comedic relief - this is the real life. No one will ever treat me like a real person with emotions. I'll be never able to express myself just because of the way I was born.

There is zero escape besides death. :feelsrope: I live among a violent evil species which only wants to multiply and hurt (even themselves). Unless the humanity goes extinct and gets replaced by a race of friendly ponies, life is not worth living.

My only goal is experiencing friendship and I can't ever achieve that.
View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KpOVpb-Bpyc
 
mNFwTJ3wz9

mNFwTJ3wz9

Everyone except me is a Fed
★★★★★
Joined
Nov 17, 2019
Posts
7,965
Online
105d 21h 47m
TheNEET said:
Even the most recent My Little Pony movie trailer (from today or yesterday) confirmed my fear that they'll portray all males as either evil or le funny comedic relief. Males can be either clowns, evil or comedic relief - this is the real life.
Is netflix making it or something?
 
D

Denis6655

SA
-
Joined
Sep 6, 2021
Posts
38
Online
22h 47m
TheNEET said:
Yesterday's dream completely ruined me and idk if I'll survive September at this rate, I keep busting into tears every time I don't flood myself with artificial dopamine via music or scrooolling thru random shit online. It wasn't even any massive suifuel by a sub-average person's standards. I only remember a few second snapshot of the dream where I was at some kind of My Little Pony convention and people were nice to me and we were casually chatting, everyone was friendly and, unlike irl, they didn't ignore me or clearly gave me signs they want me gone (if not straight-up insulted). I've been off codeine for like a month now, but I'm seriously considering getting some just to dull the pain.

Fuck sex, I missed even the most basic developmental milestones and I CAN'T EVER GET THAT BECAUSE AT 24 I'M TOO OLD AND MY LIFE IS OVER. I just want childhood friendship, filled with casual play and wonder. I can't even watch My Little Pony content without busting into tears, even going outside is dangerous because literal 8-year-olds on playground (or just on streets) mog the hell out of me.

I can't relive my childhood, teenhood or now even early 20s. At this point I can't pull "oh, I'm just a late bloomer", even if by some magical chance I could live thru some of these experiences, it would be a mere mockery: my body isn't as good as in my teens (I can't run around or eat whatever, because it'll hurt me) and every photo would be reminder that I'm a weird manchild trying his best to relive lost childhood, but it's not the same. Even guys from Brony groups agree that at my age the time of childhood fun is over, it's time to get serious with jobs, wives and shit.

I'll never go on an adventure, never have a sleepover, never discover my true passions and talent, because everyone is mean and unhelpful and my brain (and body from not much choice but rot inside) is probably severely damaged. The worst part is that it would literally cost normies NOTHING not to shit on me, not to reject me. Oftentimes they had much to gain by being friendly. I'm literally so starved for any bit of compassion and humane treatment that I tried joining small cult-ish churches TWICE in hopes of getting love-bombed at least (it didn't happen).

My expectations are so incredibly low and yet it only gets worse. This is a literal hell where EVERYONE is evil and all around me there is only content created by these evil people who wish to shit on everything good and nice. Even the most recent My Little Pony movie trailer (from today or yesterday) confirmed my fear that they'll portray all males as either evil or le funny comedic relief. Males can be either clowns, evil or comedic relief - this is the real life. No one will ever treat me like a real person with emotions. I'll be never able to express myself just because of the way I was born.

There is zero escape besides death. :feelsrope: I live among a violent evil species which only wants to multiply and hurt (even themselves). Unless the humanity goes extinct and gets replaced by a race of friendly ponies, life is not worth living.

My only goal is experiencing friendship and I can't ever achieve that.
View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KpOVpb-Bpyc
Hang in there brosef, life will get better
Believe in yourself
 
T

thevenon

Veteran
Joined
Aug 17, 2021
Posts
1,090
Online
19d 20h 11m
An incel cannot be happy. :blackpill:
 
T

thevenon

Veteran
Joined
Aug 17, 2021
Posts
1,090
Online
19d 20h 11m
FlyFace said:
The simple truth. :dafuckfeels:
Whenever I discuss with any Chad I'm depressed because they live in a paradise during their whole life. :forcedsmile:
Just be Chad !
Everything goes well for them.
 
Mecoja

Mecoja

fuck society
★★★★★
Joined
Aug 28, 2020
Posts
9,426
Online
110d 6h 46m
Agepill is brutal and unforgiving, i also missed my childhood, i never did things other kids did, im fucking 34yo and i feel like a fuckin kid, i never matured, not experiencing life left me mentally stunted. In the mirror i see fat old guy i dont recognize myself.
 
Steiner Ex Machina

Steiner Ex Machina

Fully Weaponized Autism
★★★★★
Joined
Aug 30, 2021
Posts
930
Online
11d 15h 3m
Same here, never had a life and my relationship with foids ended at age 5 when my recessive genes started showing up, even as a child, something inside me realized it was all over. Endure the pain bro, to the eyes of God we're all Chad S-Class Strugglers in here :cryfeels:

 
0Energy0Happyness

0Energy0Happyness

I think u a fed
★★★
Joined
Mar 1, 2021
Posts
4,715
Online
39d 10h 20m
Incline

Incline

SEA is my only hope, failing that I kill myself.
★★★★★
Joined
May 1, 2019
Posts
10,067
Online
75d 21h 51m
It is what it is my friend.
 
Inkblot

Inkblot

Freakazoid
-
Joined
Sep 5, 2021
Posts
178
Online
2d 3h 34m
TheNEET said:
I keep busting into tears every time I don't flood myself with artificial dopamine via music or scrooolling thru random shit online.
TheNEET said:
Fuck sex, I missed even the most basic developmental milestones and I CAN'T EVER GET THAT BECAUSE AT 24 I'M TOO OLD AND MY LIFE IS OVER.
I'm dead serious when I say this. You're clinically depressed. If you've been on an SSRI before and it didn't work, you were on the wrong one.
 
SocialzERo

SocialzERo

Blackcel
★★★★★
Joined
Sep 8, 2020
Posts
8,137
Online
166d 11h 55m

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