I created a list of sorts in my head which frequently update of things which if they happen to me I will fully solidify my plans to rope, here's the list so far:
•if I ever get directly called ugly in person now, I've been called ugly when I was a young teen but my face was still not fully developed so I retain this cope in my brain that I'm not that bad anymore
•if a small baby ever looks at my face and immediately starts crying, I'll see that as the most undeniable evidence that I'm facially subhuman
•if I ever hit someone whilst riding my bike, I have tourettes and severe anxiety disorder and frequently almost hit people during a bad tic day or during an anxiety attack, but if I actually make contact and wipe someone out it's GG's I'm afraid
•if i ever spiral with alcohol so badly that I start drinking first thing after waking up after drinking again and scare the shit out of my parents and land myself in hospital again
•if I manage to reach 30 and am still in the same sexless friendless position I'm in now, I'm now 27 so it's getting closer
•if I ever develop legitimate psychosis/schizophrenia
•if I get diagnosed with bipolar disorder, strongly suspecting it but haven't been diagnosed
•if my mums hoarding disorder spreads into my own bedroom
•if I ever have an experience which undoubtedly confirms my solipsism/simulation theory/lonely god theory suspicion
•if it turns out that my only "friend" who has just turned 18 was actually using me just because I can buy him alcohol and vapes and shit
•if I ever get scammed by an escort again, one escort did this bait and switch scam and I lost £300 to the bitch
•if I cannot get kratom anymore, my anxiety is too severe for me to enjoy it by itself anymore but it's the only thing that stops me from overindulging alcohol during my nighty drinking sessions
•if I have a massive mental breakdown and crash the fuck out against someone staring at me in a public setting with lots of witnesses, already done it twice but thankfully there was no witnesses both times but I did almost get severely beaten up the first time
The list isn't set in stone and is constantly being updated and adjusted in my head but these are the general things which if they happen to me then I'll make the decision that I am absolutely roping wether I want to or not
•if I ever get directly called ugly in person now, I've been called ugly when I was a young teen but my face was still not fully developed so I retain this cope in my brain that I'm not that bad anymore
•if a small baby ever looks at my face and immediately starts crying, I'll see that as the most undeniable evidence that I'm facially subhuman
•if I ever hit someone whilst riding my bike, I have tourettes and severe anxiety disorder and frequently almost hit people during a bad tic day or during an anxiety attack, but if I actually make contact and wipe someone out it's GG's I'm afraid
•if i ever spiral with alcohol so badly that I start drinking first thing after waking up after drinking again and scare the shit out of my parents and land myself in hospital again
•if I manage to reach 30 and am still in the same sexless friendless position I'm in now, I'm now 27 so it's getting closer
•if I ever develop legitimate psychosis/schizophrenia
•if I get diagnosed with bipolar disorder, strongly suspecting it but haven't been diagnosed
•if my mums hoarding disorder spreads into my own bedroom
•if I ever have an experience which undoubtedly confirms my solipsism/simulation theory/lonely god theory suspicion
•if it turns out that my only "friend" who has just turned 18 was actually using me just because I can buy him alcohol and vapes and shit
•if I ever get scammed by an escort again, one escort did this bait and switch scam and I lost £300 to the bitch
•if I cannot get kratom anymore, my anxiety is too severe for me to enjoy it by itself anymore but it's the only thing that stops me from overindulging alcohol during my nighty drinking sessions
•if I have a massive mental breakdown and crash the fuck out against someone staring at me in a public setting with lots of witnesses, already done it twice but thankfully there was no witnesses both times but I did almost get severely beaten up the first time
The list isn't set in stone and is constantly being updated and adjusted in my head but these are the general things which if they happen to me then I'll make the decision that I am absolutely roping wether I want to or not
