The dreaded 'stop and chat'..

[LostSoulUK]

I hate having to make small talk so much with people, it's honestly unbearable for my anxiety to the point where I actively avoid people in the staff room and retreat to the bathroom. Never is this more apparent than the workplace, were your social flaws are exposed in public.

Everyone has those certain people that they're uncomfortable around. For someone with social anxiety, that person is literally every person. But I'm a lot worse around specific people, those in authority, alpha's or anyone with a degree of social status. There's this 1 girl in the staff room who is strict then stone silent. I can't stand being around these type of people who give you mixed messages. Over time that silent treatment becomes insufferable, this applies to most people in the staff room. I literally neck a boiling hot cup of tea in the kitchen just to avoid sitting in insufferable silence in that fuckin room of death. Most times I just eat my dinner in the bathroom and I'll sit in that fuckin toilet and even be late for my duty. The absolute worse is the stop and chat with your boss, I fuckin freeze on the spot as I feel completely unworthy to this person.

This low self worth has prevented me from ever moving forward in life. Feel free to share your stories of the dreaded stop and chat. Curb your enthusiasm nailed it in an episode when someone said to larry "hey how you doing" then larry remarked "good" as he doesn't know the guy well enough for anything more than that empty platitude. Most people do this out of courtesy and it means nothing, they ask how are you then the response is 'not bad', it's completely meaningless.

 

[Lawrence]

Yep, I get this even around strangers, like if I go into a store and there's a lot of people there...- cuz in middle school I was bullied, so now even as an adult there's some part of me that assumes that strangers are gonna bully me too

 

[Fifita]

My family use to gossip about me and since then when i am around people i assume they are too . Makes me extremely paranoid .

 

[LostSoulUK]

Yep, I get this even around strangers, like if I go into a store and there's a lot of people there...- cuz in middle school I was bullied, so now even as an adult some part of me assumes that strangers are gonna bully me too

same, but for me its worse around those you have to see on a daily basis like at work. There's people that I have to be on duty with who don't even say 2 words to me, it's awkward as hell. Its made this job a fuckin nightmare tbh as most of them are this way with me. It's also to do with the way I look, it's ironic how people of a certain height are given favourable treatement. Short men are treated like shit, height is the most discriminated against but thats another story.

I was also bullied btw, throughout school, at college and at a fast food place. I've been bullied because of my big nose mostly. I've also had racial slurs thrown at me as I'm brown skin. One time I introduced myself in a pub and a guy asked me if I sell bombs. Then his mate asked if I was circumcised. I have a british accent but my features gave them licence for prejudice.

But you know what, sufferers like ourselves are often the kindest hearts, I truly believe that. Sufferers tend to be more understanding and compassionate than most ignorant judgemental fucks in society. Not all sufferers as there are some absolute low lives on both ends of the spectrum but from my experience sufferers have the most beautiful heart and soul. If anything its made me an effective teaching assistant as I'm very understanding and I've been keeping kids safe for a few years now. Its just unfortunate that it is taken advantage of by the cruel world but we have more value than anyone.

 

[Lawrence]

sufferers are often the kindest hearts, I truly believe that. Sufferers tend to be more understanding and compassionate than most ignorant judgemental fucks in society.

-
I have seen that in action!- There was a study done about beggars, and which passerby are the most likely to give something to them.- And they found that the people most likely to give something to a beggar are:- other poor people!

Yes...- sufferers understand
-

 

[LostSoulUK]

-
I have seen that in action!- There was a study done about beggars, and which passerby are the most likely to give something to them.- And they found that the people most likely to give something to a beggar are:- other poor people!

Yes...- sufferers understand
-

There you go, case in point. This applies to people with mental health issues and addiction etc, sufferers generally to be very understanding and less judgemental. At my workplace everyone is mostly very ignorant towards me.

It's basically a posh environment and this is reflected in the staff culture. Working alongside teachers is hell for a loser like me. They all have status and a privileged life, I ain't worth shit by comparison.

There are of course some sufferers who are truly evil as resentment can turn to anger which can manifest itself. For the most part though, I find sufferers to be the kindest hearts. We've all suffered on this forum so we have a mutual connection by default. There's guys that are a lot worse than me and vice versa, I never judge, I've always been transparent about my issues even in public.

 

[curryboy420]

Eating in the bathroom is haram and dirty. Fuck the normies. Make them uncomfortable

 

[LostSoulUK]

Eating in the bathroom is haram and dirty. Fuck the normies. Make them uncomfortable

I'd rather sit in a piss stained toilet than sit in awkward silence around ignorant fucks. I find awkward silence insufferable, it really escalates my anxiety. Sometimes I sit in the staff room if there's someone who I can chat to but most of the time I try to avoid it.

I remember 1 time when I worked in a fast food joint there was a moment that will haunt me for the rest of my days. I was eating my dinner in the staff room and these 2 guys walked in and sat across each other chatting to each other. They were best mates, typical alpha guys. I was eating my dinner in total silence throughout as I was between them. Then came the awkward silence, they looked at each other bemused as I was almost shaking in the middle through my anxiety, still saying nothing.

That was 1 of the worst experiences I've ever had and I've had many. My whole life is an awkward silence, as an introvert I'm just different to most people. I wish I could just fit in and be normal, I'm proud to be unique but I desire a life of my own which I'll never have.

My family use to gossip about me and since then when i am around people i assume they are too . Makes me extremely paranoid .

My mum and her friends do that, then as soon as I enter a room my mum goes 'shhh he's comin'. My own mother treatin me like a fuckin leper. You know its over when even ur own mother perceives you as a fuckin alien outcast.