Prison stories

[Deleted member 7438]

As per a request from @Brahcel, this is my prison stories thread. Since he asked for it after I posted about confronting some inmates over a pair of boots. To preface this it's worth noting that was in protective custody.

-Fall of 2017
-A friend of mine named John, a hippy-type that could play guitar like a badass, has his state issue boots stolen by his ex bunky, some punk old-timer named Bullet with one eye
-My friends just wanted to talk about it, but somehow word gets around and homeboy is having none of it. He tries intimidating my best friend and threatens him, then as he goes after John I confront him
-He's got a bodyguard with him, a youngster I worked with in the kitchen. I don't remember his name, but I know his paperwork was dirty (I.E. snitch or sex offender)
-I call him a punk bitch, he doesn't do shit about it, threats are made on both sides
-Anyways, I go for backup because the dudes are gang members and I'm not playing games anymore
-My friends aren't a gang. One of ours tried to orginize us, but nobody wanted anything to do with his shit. Basically I have nothing coming and no one wants to fuck with a prison gang. Thing is, the yard I was on was without a doubt the softest SNY 2 yard in California State, so despite them being a gang there was absolutely no real threat of retaliation unless things got physical.
-My best friend and I go into their dorm because "fuck them, we're stealing their laundry bags"
Anyways, when we get in there they're sitting at their bunks. I'm not really, REALLY excited about picking a fight with these guys, so I succinctly ask for our friend's shit back and get told that it might be in the trashcan.
-Shit gets interesting real quick after this
-Now, up to this point my friends and I have had a reputation as being those dudes that play DnD and hang out in the library. We're actually decently liked because we mind our business and tend to be pleasant to do business with.
-A 3rd party approaches asking what's up and if he can help. I guess this guy knew the 2 of us (Best friend and myself) as cool guys, so he's not expecting anything. We tell him that Bullet's a thief.
Dude IMMEDIATELY tries squaring off with the 2 of us, a dude nearby gets off his bunk, and somehow I'm being confronted by about 15 guys within a minute
-Words are exchanged again, I get in one particularly aggressive dude's face, and my friend gets surrounded because he's about 5'5 ITSOVER-status incel
-I pull him out of there, and tell him we're leaving. The faggots laugh at me and then I start yelling at them
In my best base "You're all a bunch of punk bitches, ain't none of you man enough to take me one-on-one" and I repeat it as they taunt me.
-Seriously, calling someone a thief and a punk bitch is about as hardcore as fighting words get, and none of them were willing to do anything.
-One of them actually starts running at me, but the dude is clearly just playing with me. We give eachother a shoulder check and he walks away
-We go outside and get John. Right now the three of us are staying away from the main group's table to keep them out of trouble.
-Awhile passes and we're still on the yard, I'm pretty certain at this point its not coming so I go take a shit
-I come back and LMAO they actually came over and bebopped my friend's lightly when I was gone
-Like so lightly they didn't even bleed. Bestie's got a cracked sternum
-They're even petty enough to be standing at the window watching us. We all start flipping them off.
-Word comes down they're getting seriously pissed and told to go the fuck home. We fuck off to our dorms
-Next couple of days there's a big CO presence on the yard, hear we've been greenlighted but nothing ever comes of it
-A couple days later they call for a truce

Pathetic.

Edit, sorry for the format, I'll make it more traditional from here on. it keeps wanting to quote something since I wrote it in greentext format

 

[456C6C696F74]

Did you guys get free tablets in prison?

 

[Deleted member 7438]

Did you guys get free tablets in prison?

Actually yes. People that were in school got really shitty, bulky, outdated, locked down tablets.
Anyways, here are some people I met

-There was a black dude that did a really bad Peter Griffin impression. All he said was "My name is Peter" , and if you humored him he'd say over and over again. Like "Mynameis Peeeeeter". I don't remember his name, but he was a mooch, a thief, and an idiot
-I knew two hitmen. One was my bunky and the other was a librarian I frequently did business with. They were good people.
-There was this one guy named AJ. Dude was a 50-year-old THAT KID. He had "Fuck you" written across his knuckles, pretended he had been in the military, and wore a handlebar mustache with sunglasses
-I knew a serial child rapist named Kile. He was trying pretty hard to reform himself, even to the point where he endangered himself with his honesty about his past. He got extorted a lot and I actually made a decent profit off of paying his debts for a fee. Dude tried to fuck anything on the yard that would have him.
-My best friend was a guy named Andrew. He was autistic and had an obsession with tabletop games. If he knew something existed he had to turn it into something that he could use in a WoD setting. This included characters from other media, actual people, mythical figures, historical figures, technology fact or fiction. He also absolutely loved Metal Gear Solid; which is what first bonded over.
-There was a dude name Tri (Pronounced tree) He was a druid, but the reason his name was Tri was because it's Gaelic for 3 (Or something to that affect) and he had 3 testicles. Dude loved stirring drama. He and Kile were an item, but he would also fuck around with other guys. I think it was an open relationship, but Kile was married and his wife left him after finding out about the 2. Tri was also broomstick married to 2 trannies and a guy, but they all left him.
-There was a white supremacist named Chris. He was pretty cool with me. He gave me coffee every morning and helped me when I got INCREDIBLY sick. He murdered a woman with a tree branch in hemet. Legit, this man is probably the only person I've ever feared in my adult life. I knew him well, and I wouldn't be surprised if he were actually a serial killer

 

[Michael15651]

Sounds horrible in all honesty.