There is a reason why I force myself to outside during the holidays, especially Valentines day. I do it because when i see two people displaying their love and affection in public, it makes my hate for women and couples much more powerful. It makes my hatred so powerful that I no longer want to be loved by a female. When i see a couple hugging each other and simling together, I start to hate the concept of love. It makes me want destroy it beacuase I know that its something I cant have. As i am filled with hatred, anger, and violent thoughts, I suppress my emotions so that I can no longer feel pain. I do it to become numb. I have to do this because if i dont, i will start to crave love, intimacy, and affection but craving these things is bad for my mental health so I kill these cravings by intensifying my hatred and anger with the goal of becoming emotionally numb. Its an effective coping strategy, I let the hatred comsume me until I can no longer feel any emtional pain. If i keep up using this coping strategy, I will finally be free from my souls desire to be loved. Im actively fighting against these natural desires, it will be a long process but at least im not the only one who is in this dire situation.
I am imagining the day when I will no longer feel anything bad like loneliness, touch starvation, and social isolation. Before that happens, I have to kill and bury these things that my soul naturally needs. As a blackpiller, it is important to learn how to live without these basic human needs.
I am imagining the day when I will no longer feel anything bad like loneliness, touch starvation, and social isolation. Before that happens, I have to kill and bury these things that my soul naturally needs. As a blackpiller, it is important to learn how to live without these basic human needs.
