There is no world without me. I will not let this world exist without me.
This world tries to "unlive" me unconsciously, but I'll go full grape and/or ER mode (probably both), before I go down. IF I have to go down TOO early, that is.
I feel as if a higher power has already decided my fate. "You will NOT make it"
But what is a god to a non-believer?
I can grape if I want to... I will not do it for now, but I will, because this is not my fault. It's the brainwashing and this new "pro-female" world to blame. They cannot keep me in a checkmate, in fact I'll just break out. With brute force. I have nothing to lose. Right?
I cannot die if I reproduce...
I am at the age, when even women much younger than me, are married. Well? What do you think? What are my chances of finding a "girlfriend"? Especially as all women are disgusted by me.
I've told many people that my mother was a psychopath. She brutally beat me and then made other people do the same. I still have the scars on my back. And they itch to this day. I feel I can turn it off just as easily, not just my feelings, but even my morality. It's like a switch. I know what I'm supposed to feel, but I don't feel anything.
That's why I say, I will not die without a kid.
I'm feeling strange these days, it's more than hopelessness. It's terror.
I used to shine bright... but now I'm a wreck.
Just the musings of an old nobody.
This world tries to "unlive" me unconsciously, but I'll go full grape and/or ER mode (probably both), before I go down. IF I have to go down TOO early, that is.
I feel as if a higher power has already decided my fate. "You will NOT make it"
But what is a god to a non-believer?
I can grape if I want to... I will not do it for now, but I will, because this is not my fault. It's the brainwashing and this new "pro-female" world to blame. They cannot keep me in a checkmate, in fact I'll just break out. With brute force. I have nothing to lose. Right?
I cannot die if I reproduce...
I am at the age, when even women much younger than me, are married. Well? What do you think? What are my chances of finding a "girlfriend"? Especially as all women are disgusted by me.
I've told many people that my mother was a psychopath. She brutally beat me and then made other people do the same. I still have the scars on my back. And they itch to this day. I feel I can turn it off just as easily, not just my feelings, but even my morality. It's like a switch. I know what I'm supposed to feel, but I don't feel anything.
That's why I say, I will not die without a kid.
I'm feeling strange these days, it's more than hopelessness. It's terror.
I used to shine bright... but now I'm a wreck.
Just the musings of an old nobody.
