crew2
Captain
★★★★
- Joined
- Dec 4, 2017
- Posts
- 1,894
My Aunt, Grandmother and Uncle all lived in the same house facing my parents. They have all died over the course of this last year months apart from each other. My uncle just this last weekend. When I was a kid I was very close to them and my Aunt was like a second mother to me. Her son committed suicide when I was little so she always tried to listen to my problems because of that.
Worst thing is the only way I've been able to truly deal with my Inceldom over the years is isolate myself from everyone and block out any feelings about it as much as I can. The problem is when you do this for some feelings you end up inadvertently doing it for all of them. So I ended up being desensitised to the deaths of 3 people that I should have cared about more than anything else in the world.
Now I realise I'm never going to be able to mourn their deaths again in the way that I should be able to. This is one of the consequences of just "getting on with it" or "manning up".
Worst thing is the only way I've been able to truly deal with my Inceldom over the years is isolate myself from everyone and block out any feelings about it as much as I can. The problem is when you do this for some feelings you end up inadvertently doing it for all of them. So I ended up being desensitised to the deaths of 3 people that I should have cared about more than anything else in the world.
Now I realise I'm never going to be able to mourn their deaths again in the way that I should be able to. This is one of the consequences of just "getting on with it" or "manning up".