Kind of a blog post but here goes:
I'm a 29 year old STEMcel. Lost all my friends in HS due to depression+mentalillness. Grew up in an abusive household(violent mother). Because of my upbringing, interacting with girls was difficult. Was a mostly a loner during uni. Almost no attention from women because I was fat (weighed 230lbs ). Also there were barely any women in my classes. After uni, I finally became a software engineer after years of NEETing back in 2022, got a gym membership, and lost a shitton of weight (now 175lbs). Dating apps weren't working so tried putting ads on discord and got nothing. Tried putting out 4chan ads and got nothing. Facebook:nothing. I put an ad out on reddit's r/r4r back in december 2023 and got a few women reach out to me.
I wound up setting up a gym date with a filipina girl. We didn't even exchange pics, she just asked me to show up to her gym and I just went out of desperation. When I saw her she was so unbelievably attractive. Literal stacy. I was akward but we talked a bit then departed. After a few more pricey dates(I didn't go 50/50), she immediately identified me as a virgin then friendzoned me. We talked over the phone for 5 months and we metup a few times to hangout (in the friendzone) before I got tired of the blueballs and asked her to block me. I genuinely liked talking to her. We actually really bonded. The problem was that she told me I just didn't have the confidence she was looking for which mas mostly due to me not having any experience with women. She had very little sympathy for my situation, but tbh, a *little* sympathy is a lot compared to the vast majority of women who would have had absolutely zero (0) sympathy for my situation. She was a really nice girl compared to the trash out there. She really started to change my opinion of women.
However, while I was in the friendzone,she revealed to me that she was actually trying to cheat on her boyfriend with me (if i wasn't so awkward). I found out her BF was in constant contact with her while we were dating.
In terms of our interactions,all we did was hug, hangout, and eat at resturants. She was in my room a few times too. If I wasn't so afraid to make physical contact and escalate things with her she'd probably be my GF right now. Last time i spoke to her she was talking to some 6ft2 dude she found on reddit (im 5ft7). The blackpill is so fucking real. If i was more attractive,and more confident, she would have definitely overlooked all my faults. Problem is that confidence usually comes from the positive reinforcement from being attactive. she was 5ft3 btw.
What I learned was that:
when a girl likes you, you dont have to try very hard.
If some of you EVER get a job and start dating don't be like me:
- Go 50/50 and don't spend significants money until you get sex
- DONT accept the friendzone (you'll just get blueballs)
