RageFuel My consciousness is trapped

[Betrayed]

Every day people tell me to just take things how they are. I had short moments where I enjoyed life. Short moments of living life as a normie. I know what it is like to be happy. But I am not

I suffer more than anyone else, everybody was happy today, even those who got rejected went "better luck next time"

I can't take this anymore. I can't just dodge and carry on. I am a walking wreck. I am no longer able to function. I want this all to end. I want to take a break from all of this.

It just keeps getting more brutal. Just when I think life is going uphill again I get another tasty dose of the blackpill.

Today on the train there were four 14 year old girls discussing sex and saying things like "his dick was (((this))) big" while the entire train could hear.

I will suffer for eternity. Many people on this forum have said something similar or the same sentence: "I don't know how I got this far in life" (age).

Every day I get up at early hours to just go to school. It's freezing cold on the way to the train station and waiting there. Then I at school nobody respects me and acts like I'm inferior. Even people from other class smile in a sarcastic way when they see me while I was heading to the local supermarket alone during my lunch break (they all went as a group).

Then after 8 hours of torture I go back to my train station and head home with a train full of normies on their way to the nearest big city (my home town is on the route there) to party after school.

I am at home. My mother is crying again and screaming how she's gonna kill herself, or just crying, or just ignoring me while my step father tries to comfort here. My real father left before my birth. My mother raised me to be weak. I am doing everything in my power to become strong, training MMA, gymmaxing. It doesn't do shit. So much time at the gym. I have a somewhat decent physique.

Nothing I do matters. I put on my headphones and play video games with my noise cancelling headphones. I sink into another world, or just browse this forum. But I never have enough time to do anything I want to, because I need to hit the gym. There it's full of young couples. Fuck. I head home and sleep. The cycle starts all over again. Nobody knows how I feel like.

You are responsible for all of my suffering. I've had enough of all of society

 

[Betrayed]

Not even a single viewer. ALL OF YOU ARE SCUMS. THIS IS A SIMULATION TESTING ME HOW MUCH PAIN I CAN ENDURE BEFORE I SNAP

 

[Nemesis]

Not even a single viewer. ALL OF YOU ARE SCUMS. THIS IS A SIMULATION TESTING ME HOW MUCH PAIN I CAN ENDURE BEFORE I SNAP

Then snap

 

[DarkStarDown]

Every day people tell me to just take things how they are. I had short moments where I enjoyed life. Short moments of living life as a normie. I know what it is like to be happy. But I am not

I suffer more than anyone else, everybody was happy today, even those who got rejected went "better luck next time"

I can't take this anymore. I can't just dodge and carry on. I am a walking wreck. I am no longer able to function. I want this all to end. I want to take a break from all of this.

It just keeps getting more brutal. Just when I think life is going uphill again I get another tasty dose of the blackpill.

Today on the train there were four 14 year old girls discussing sex and saying things like "his dick was (((this))) big" while the entire train could hear.

I will suffer for eternity. Many people on this forum have said something similar or the same sentence: "I don't know how I got this far in life" (age).

Every day I get up at early hours to just go to school. It's freezing cold on the way to the train station and waiting there. Then I at school nobody respects me and acts like I'm inferior. Even people from other class smile in a sarcastic way when they see me while I was heading to the local supermarket alone during my lunch break (they all went as a group).

Then after 8 hours of torture I go back to my train station and head home with a train full of normies on their way to the nearest big city (my home town is on the route there) to party after school.

I am at home. My mother is crying again and screaming how she's gonna kill herself, or just crying, or just ignoring me while my step father tries to comfort here. My real father left before my birth. My mother raised me to be weak. I am doing everything in my power to become strong, training MMA, gymmaxing. It doesn't do shit. So much time at the gym. I have a somewhat decent physique.

Nothing I do matters. I put on my headphones and play video games with my noise cancelling headphones. I sink into another world, or just browse this forum. But I never have enough time to do anything I want to, because I need to hit the gym. There it's full of young couples. Fuck. I head home and sleep. The cycle starts all over again. Nobody knows how I feel like.

You are responsible for all of my suffering. I've had enough of all of society

Sounds brutal. I kinda had a similar experience at your age, except I wasted time on a sport which I was shit at and which no one respected me on and my home environment was nowhere near that bad.

And yeah, soyciety is to blame for my suffering.

Fuck you, soyciety.

 

[AnotherInsertCel]

Life is perpetual cope.

 

[VitaminS]

I like the flag you use in your profile. Don't know if you created it or not, I create flags myself and dabble in vexillology and heraldry.

I have an similar experience in life: physically abused and treated like shit at home, then physically abused and treated like shit at school. It feels like its an endless cycle of punishment you are subjected to. Your crime...? Existence, you are forced to bear punishment for no reason in this world.
The truth is, the same people at school who treat you like shit grow up and treat people the same way. There is no redemption story for the nerd, there is no swift justice for the jock and bullies like in the movies. The same rules apply in life, you just get older. It does not get better...
However, right now you are a hostage of circumstance. You HAVE to do things. You HAVE to go to school, you HAVE to go home, deal with shit, etc.. You do not have a lot of personal freedoms at your age. As time goes on and you graduate, you will gain more freedoms. The freedom to choose when you do things, where you go, what you do. You will still have to suffer the decadence of the modern world, but at least you will not be forced to endure it head on.

Here's my advice, stick with the gym and MMA, don't kill yourself (in your videogames), don't beat yourself up, don't self-sabotage, don't do anything that will land you in jail or risk your health. You are still young. You are just going to have to endure these hardships by yourself until you can get the hell out of there. Once your of age: say goodbye and your fuck-you's to your parents and the kids at school and never look back. College isn't the right choice for you, and I think your smarter then falling into that trap. Once you graduate, go to trade-school not college. Work from there.
Also: feds will try to manipulate you into doing stupid things and snapping since you are a fringe kid. Don't fall into that trap and end up doing their dirty-work.

 

[VitaminS]

Keep going. Dont stop, dont do anything stupid

 

[never began]

Every day people tell me to just take things how they are. I had short moments where I enjoyed life. Short moments of living life as a normie. I know what it is like to be happy. But I am not

I suffer more than anyone else, everybody was happy today, even those who got rejected went "better luck next time"

I can't take this anymore. I can't just dodge and carry on. I am a walking wreck. I am no longer able to function. I want this all to end. I want to take a break from all of this.

It just keeps getting more brutal. Just when I think life is going uphill again I get another tasty dose of the blackpill.

Today on the train there were four 14 year old girls discussing sex and saying things like "his dick was (((this))) big" while the entire train could hear.

I will suffer for eternity. Many people on this forum have said something similar or the same sentence: "I don't know how I got this far in life" (age).

Every day I get up at early hours to just go to school. It's freezing cold on the way to the train station and waiting there. Then I at school nobody respects me and acts like I'm inferior. Even people from other class smile in a sarcastic way when they see me while I was heading to the local supermarket alone during my lunch break (they all went as a group).

Then after 8 hours of torture I go back to my train station and head home with a train full of normies on their way to the nearest big city (my home town is on the route there) to party after school.

I am at home. My mother is crying again and screaming how she's gonna kill herself, or just crying, or just ignoring me while my step father tries to comfort here. My real father left before my birth. My mother raised me to be weak. I am doing everything in my power to become strong, training MMA, gymmaxing. It doesn't do shit. So much time at the gym. I have a somewhat decent physique.

Nothing I do matters. I put on my headphones and play video games with my noise cancelling headphones. I sink into another world, or just browse this forum. But I never have enough time to do anything I want to, because I need to hit the gym. There it's full of young couples. Fuck. I head home and sleep. The cycle starts all over again. Nobody knows how I feel like.

You are responsible for all of my suffering. I've had enough of all of society

I don't know why I got this far.

 

[CircumcisedClown]

There’s nothing you can do to be happy if your consciousness is trapped in a shitty vessel.

We’re Honda Priuses pulling up to the start of the Daytona 500. Bodies designed to survive famine and hardship in a time of plenty. Our existence is as ironic as fucking Andre the Giant living during the Potato Famine. We’re like Polar Bears living in the Sahara Desert or niggers living in England.

It’s why so many inkwells here have tall, Chad brothers. Nature was hedging its bets. It didn’t know what kind of world it you was sending them out into, so it made one designed for plenty and one designed for famine. You may feel jealous of your brother, but if it was medieval Europe, your tallfag brother would be bedridden due to rickets and would feel the same way.

You were unlucky. There is nothing else to be said.

 

[Orzmund]

Fatalism