View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bQEQYP-ktII
i was listening to this, getting hyped and enjoying the beat
but everytime i get to close to the sun, i enjoy it too much, my brain automatically stops me and forces me to remember that i am unhappy
immediately stopping all joy and falling down a hole of despair.
it is like i lost the ability to enjoy simple things like this music
i always imagine another person who would fully get into the beat and get happy dancing to it, maybe even together with a friend,
then i remember this person is not me and can never be me again
i hate my fucking brain, i dont even care about romantic or social fulfillment, i just want to enjoy the simple things life has to offer like music or games.
