I hate all the TikTok niggers who say they have ADHD just because they can’t concentrate in class. That’s not what ADHD is. ADHD is anhedonia, the absence of pleasure and motivation. It’s essentially lifelong depression that I can’t get rid of. I rarely feel happy, and when I do, it isn’t happiness rather than just the feeling of not being bored, because I’m bored all the time. Additionally, with ADHD, I don’t have the motivation to micromanage stuff like brushing my teeth, having showers or even changing my clothes. It just feels too much for me. Sometimes, after I’m home from a car trip, it can take me thirty minutes to build up the motivation to get out of the car, or even unzip my seatbelt. The worst part, in my opinion, is the more intellectual side of things. I cannot remember anything (though I know I have the capability to), I can’t think of two things at once (lucky in my case, as if I were able to connect all the shit things in my life together, I would certainly have roped already) and I can’t formulate my thoughts, or text: it took me a disproportionate amount of time to write this due to that. It’s also particularly evident when in social situations, where I just can’t think of anything to say. Regardless, all of these difficulties have made the acquisition of knowledge particularly hard for me, fucked up my life and caused countless other problems. There’s a lot more I should write about too, like my impulsiveness (which got me kicked out of two high schools), and of course that I can’t concentrate, but I can’t be arsed (due to ADHD!).
Be seeing you.
Be seeing you.
