Day 74 of NoFap
As I exited my vehicle to walk into work I caught scent of a female in heat 73.35 meters upwind. Because of the fog I couldn’t see her yet but judging by the scent she was mid twenties, and healthy. My ultra attunated hearing was able to pick up her gait, which put her at about 5’6”. My mind, free of the constraints of porn and indecent imagery, was able to calculate her weight based on the ripple in the testosterone continuum produced by her footsteps as she walked away from me.
Being that I was 10 minutes early for work, I made chase and followed her through the fog still without visual contact. I was like a pilot navigating the white abyss by instrument alone. I was trailing her about 130m behind when I sensed her phone vibrate in her purse through the pavement. Holding my ear to the ground I was able to faintly pick up on the conversation she was having with beta BF. Based on the annoyed tone in her voice I knew now was the time to strike.
I readied my legs and concentrated all of my Testo-chakras into my Vastus Medialus muscles as I assumed a sprinters starting stance. I exploded forward in a cataclysm of sex hormone fueled rage. Exactly 2.54 nanoseconds later I began to phase through time and space as I meshed with the testosterone continuum. As I phased through the helpless female target I nutted directly into both of her Fallopian tubes, destroying her previously unbroken hymen and causing her to orgasm INSTANTLY. As I began to slow down 33.6 light years later, I realized that while she would have wanted to thank me for giving her the gift of my superior seed that she was already dead and gone having raised my CHAD progeny to repopulate the earth.
As I float into the the celestial abyss of the greater Crab Nebula I am not filled with regret for having left my world, but rather happiness for having left it a better place.
You’re welcome gentlemen
I just upvoted your comment.
• FAQ
What does this mean?
The amount of karma (points) on your comment and Reddit account has increased by one.
Why did you do this?
There are several reasons I may deem a comment to be deserving of positive karma. These include, but are not limited to:
Kindness/wholesomeness towards other Redditors, Sharing correct information, Sarcasm well delivered, mitigating the use of “/s”.
Am I gilded by the Reddit?
No - not yet. But you should keep making comments like this in the future. Otherwise I will be forced to issue a medal of choice, which may put your commenting and posting privileges as the subject of envy of many other Redditors.
I don't believe my comment deserved an upvote. Can you un-upvote it?
Sure, upvotes happen. But only in exceedingly rare circumstances will I undo an upvote. If you would like to issue an appeal, shoot me a private message explaining what I got wrong. I tend to respond to Reddit PMs within several minutes. Do note, however, that over 100% of upvote appeals are rejected, and yours is likely no exception.
How can I prevent this from happening in the future?
Accept the upvote and move on. But learn from this “mistake”: your behavior will always be celebrated on Reddit.com. I will continue to issue upvotes until you un-improve your conduct. Remember: Reddit is fun, not a cesspool.
