Venting Lying to normies and disassociation- forgetting how to vent

[Thanatos]

Every day I spend in the 'real world' makes me feel more and more like NEETcel is the only way. Not because I get looked down on (literally and figuratively) or because I have to see slutty, whorish foids everywhere I go, but because I have to put up the facade. It's all the lying. Every day I have to act like a bluepilled cuck, pretend I can tolerate foids, even converse with them as if they were actual people rather than sociopathic fuckholes who couldn't hop off of the cock carousel given a year of therapy, a liter of hormonal suppressants and the second coming of Christ. I even have to feed them sweets to make the normies tolerate me. It's like working in a den full of hungry bears, feed or be eaten. And the worst part is bottling up the hatred. It's like holding bile in your throat. All the time. And nothing that I do can make the rage go away. Wanna know what the worst part is? I've been bottling it up so long, I don't even know how to express my rage anymore. If this seems composed for a vent, it's because I don't even remember how to really vent anymore. It's like my mouth is sewn shut, and no matter how much I want to, I can't vent or rage or scream. And I don't know how to cope with it. Being here helps, not because I've figured out how to express, but because it feels good to finally be able to act and say whatever I want. But I now realize that that was wrong, because I still can't say what I want. Not because anyone wants to stop me, but because I don't know how to say what I want. I hate. I hate I hate I hate I hate I hate.

 

[Numb]

I even have to feed them sweets to make the normies tolerate me.

?

 

[Ellsworth]

it’s like you read my mind. Feel exactly the same way.

 

[VirginAutistManlet]

Sometimes I think Im just being delusional and paranoid for no reason, but then I venture outside and am reminded of why I am a shut-in hermit NEET, every single time, without failure, I am reminded as to why I prefer the NEET life.

Because I have been out of society for so long (since age 16, now in my early 30s) I have zero normie traits about me, so by me being myself, it is automatically rejected and I am forced to be molded into a certain way by others, and that feels like an attack on my very existence. Maybe if it was the 1990s I would be more accepted into society, but in today's insane political correct society, there is literally zero place for honesty and calling things out for what they are, my autism causes me to be 100% honest, and my autism does not care for the feelings of others, it only cares about evidence and facts. Being honest and connecting the dots and noticing trends is NOT ALLOWED IN NORMIE SOCIETY. Normie society is all based on LOOKS AND STATUS and FEELS, not TRUTH OR REALITY and FACTS.

By politically correct, I don't mean being left or right, or centrist, I just mean anything, every little thing is politicized now, any wrong step or temporary malfunction in programming can even destroy the most successful normie whose been playing a long the entire time to get ahead.

Legitimately feel like I am being torn apart when I am around normies, like the real me is being destroyed by them, and the normies do this by insulting, shaming, alienating, ostracizing, etc, and they will continue to do such things until you're a carbon copy of them, physically and mentally. It is especially frustrating when a lot of the things you're shamed about are out of your control, autism, height, looks etc.

The NEET haters always say "b-but muh copes", "muh money", etc. But for me the mental anguish of being around normies is too great for me, it overrides any financial incentive, perhaps because Im simply just not a materialistic person. Honestly if you wanting to work is greater than the mental anguish of dealing with normies all day, I would honestly consider you a fakecel failed normie.

 

[StaroRavager]

I have a hard time expressing anger and frustration as well. Whenever I did in the past nothing good came from it. Now I'm just reduced to occasional rage surges but it takes a bit before I get to that point. Still I'm much less averse to conflict than I used to be

 

[Thanatos]

?

I learned baking for (among other reasons) giving to coworkers to make them tolerate me. Say what you want, but it works like a charm.

 

[ChronicPaincel]

it’s like you read my mind. Feel exactly the same way.

 

[johnnyb]

its nice to bite your tongue every second. I legit the other day almost punched a customer in the back of the head. I was doing something else, and they walked past me and stood infront of my register, waiting for me to go up to it just because they are standing infront of it, while they knew I was the only one there and walked right past me without saying anything. I saw in my mind me walking up behind them and slamming them in the back of the head, but then had to reason with myself, wait no, that will ruin my plans to escape here to SEA... the life of ours is a rough one

 

[Emba]

You seem upset.

I'm so glad I don't have to live that way.
I would rather have my deep poverty and lack of companionship than have to live a dishonest life.

I hate dealing with potemkin people.

 

[ChronicPaincel]

The NEET haters always say "b-but muh copes", "muh money", etc. But for me the mental anguish of being around normies is too great for me, it overrides any financial incentive, perhaps because Im simply just not a materialistic person. Honestly if you wanting to work is greater than the mental anguish of dealing with normies all day, I would honestly consider you a fakecel failed normie.

100%. Only truecels know this pain.

 

[mental_out]

I'm pretty good at tricking myself into thinking I'm someone else when in public. I can pretty convincingly put on the whole act by genuinely believing it in the moment. It's to the point where it's almost like flipping a switch.

 

[Thanatos]

I'm pretty good at tricking myself into thinking I'm someone else when in public. I can pretty convincingly put on the whole act by genuinely believing it in the moment. It's to the point where it's almost like flipping a switch.

Honestly wish I could, but looking up at people really snaps me back into reality