Story [Long post] I've been pretending to go to university for the past year...

[Deleted member 6214]

Over the last few years, all the loneliness and bullying at school caused my grades to plummet. I got severely, severely bullied for years. I lost motivation and fell into deep depression. I went from an A-grade student at the age of 16 to now failing all my subjects last year. I got the lowest grades possible on all 3 A-Levels I took. At 16 my teachers had tipped me to get into Oxford or Cambridge universities and a bright future.

Now, since September 2017, I've been pretending to go to a top university by lying to my parents. I printed out fake grade sheets and managed to convince them. They trust me 100% and didn't question anything. Every morning I leave the house and just go to the local library and sit there, reading books or scrolling my phone. Then I come back home and tell my parents that I had a productive day at uni. I can't tell them the truth... they would be devastated. They had hopes of me going to an amazing university like Oxford and the hope that one day I would make their lives easier by earning good money. Both my parents work 7 days a week, long hours and it's having a negative effect on my dad's physique, he is getting kind of old now. I work part time on the weekends to help him out though. He tells me he has big hopes for me and that I'll be a successful man someday and thats what motivates him to work hard.

Every day I wish I could just end my life. But my family is the only thing stopping me from dying. My parents love me a lot and I can't do it to them, it's not fair for all the love and support they've given me. But I can't also let them down this badly, I can't even get into a semi-decent university with these terrible grades. I'm going to resit some exams this coming year to try and salvage a place at a lower university next year. I'm not sure how I'm going to explain that to my parents though...

I made this thread to show any non-incels lurking here that this is what bullying and rejection really does to some of us. This isn't about women, this isn't about sex, it's about what my life has become because I was born with a deformity and bad facial features (the cause of my bullying). I've been told to kill myself, been told that I'm ugly, that no one will ever love me. I've spent countless birthdays alone and had to spin countless lies to my family about how I have friends at school and that I'm doing just fine. I went to therapy twice and both therapists just prescribed drugs to me that increased my weight and made me feel worse about my appearance and thus pushing me further into this hole.

Sorry for the long post, had to let it all out

 

[129samot]

Neck (if brave enough)

 

[VLÖ]

Rough shit.

But what will the "normal people" say?

"Just lift bro. Just get a haircut bro. Just, be funny bro. Everything is your fault. Everything bad happens to you because you want it to happen to you. Do these stupid inane fucking things that nobody cares about and spend all your money on useless things and then just ignore the bullies"

 

[RREEEEEEEEE]

I can sympathize..

 

[Deleted member 6214]

Rough shit.

But what will the "normal people" say?

"Just lift bro. Just get a haircut bro. Just, be funny bro. Everything is your fault. Everything bad happens to you because you want it to happen to you. Do these stupid inane fucking things that nobody cares about and spend all your money on useless things and then just ignore the bullies"

Yeah that is 100% accurate. They also accuse me of being a "victim".

 

[allbluee]

I can sympathize..

xD

 

[Deleted member 6214]

I can sympathize..

 

[VLÖ]

Yeah that is 100% accurate. They also accuse me of being a "victim".

And yet, they'll SHOWER womyn who say "I felt like I was raped" with tons of support and threats to beat up whoever "feel raped" her.

Fucking dystopian shit.

 

[Fontaine]

I deeply sympathize. If I could tell you something that may have helped me when I was your age: stop seeing studying as a social thing. Try to study just for the purpose of knowledge, try to completely black out everyone and focus on work. Also, admit you will never have a normal youth, *embrace* your abnormality (instead of despairing over it) and aim for betabux game in your later life.

It is also vital that you exercise regularly (running or lifting is ideal). It helps with brainpower and to keep depression at bay.

 

[RREEEEEEEEE]

xD

??

 

[Deleted member 6214]

I deeply sympathize. If I could tell you something that may have helped me when I was your age: stop seeing studying as a social thing. Try to study just for the purpose of knowledge, try to completely black out everyone and focus on work. Also, admit you will never have a normal youth, *embrace* your abnormality (instead of despairing over it) and aim for betabux game in your later life.

Thanks brother . I'm trying to change my mindset towards studying so I can try and bounce back from this. I need to find a way to keep myself happy by attaining knowledge and hopefully I can feel better about myself.

 

[acnescarcel]

wait did you apply and get into those schools or did you just lie and say you got in?

 

[Templarcel421]

damn it is over for you

 

[allbluee]

??

I know that feeling rn

 

[Deleted member 6214]

wait did you apply and get into those schools or did you just lie and say you got in?

I couldn't apply, my grades were too shit. I lie currently about going to a good university which is close to my house.

 

[Kointo1]

I can sympathize..

 

[5mb]

this is what bullying and rejection really does to some of us. This isn't about women, this isn't about sex, it's about what my life has become because I was born with a deformity and bad facial features (the cause of my bullying)

if only the people bullying us could understand this, but they'll never care because they're heartless. i'm sorry about your situation man

 

[UnfortunatelyINCEL98]

at least you are working helping your folks / try not to lie man / sometimes the truth hurts but its better than lying

 

[IncelmaBinHardon]

You've gotta come clean. This will end very badly if you don't.

 

[Rice Cel]

Don't go to heaven and leave your parents behind. Go there togethER

 

[RREEEEEEEEE]

I know that feeling rn

Did you drop out?

 

[Innad1ated]

Brutal dude. I know you probably don't want to hear this but I'd say just be straight with them. They sound very loving and caring which is better than the opposite. If letting them down is your biggest worry, a small let down is better than a big one. I'd really start considering the end game of this strategy now... I don't know you or your parents, but I feel as though they will understand. Its hard to face problems like this straight on, but I can say with experience the outcomes are almost always better.

 

[allbluee]

Did you drop out?

No i am just lazy currently. Didnt go to so many classes etc and in 4 weeks is my first exam

 

[RREEEEEEEEE]

No i am just lazy currently. Didnt go to so many classes etc and in 4 weeks is my first exam

Good luck with your exams bro.

 

[allbluee]

Good luck with your exams bro.

Thanks man. The only help is dua for me

 

[BrokenRotten]

Over the last few years, all the loneliness and bullying at school caused my grades to plummet. I got severely, severely bullied for years. I lost motivation and fell into deep depression. I went from an A-grade student at the age of 16 to now failing all my subjects last year. I got the lowest grades possible on all 3 A-Levels I took. At 16 my teachers had tipped me to get into Oxford or Cambridge universities and a bright future.

Now, since September 2017, I've been pretending to go to a top university by lying to my parents. I printed out fake grade sheets and managed to convince them. They trust me 100% and didn't question anything. Every morning I leave the house and just go to the local library and sit there, reading books or scrolling my phone. Then I come back home and tell my parents that I had a productive day at uni. I can't tell them the truth... they would be devastated. They had hopes of me going to an amazing university like Oxford and the hope that one day I would make their lives easier by earning good money. Both my parents work 7 days a week, long hours and it's having a negative effect on my dad's physique, he is getting kind of old now. I work part time on the weekends to help him out though. He tells me he has big hopes for me and that I'll be a successful man someday and thats what motivates him to work hard.

Every day I wish I could just end my life. But my family is the only thing stopping me from dying. My parents love me a lot and I can't do it to them, it's not fair for all the love and support they've given me. But I can't also let them down this badly, I can't even get into a semi-decent university with these terrible grades. I'm going to resit some exams this coming year to try and salvage a place at a lower university next year. I'm not sure how I'm going to explain that to my parents though...

I made this thread to show any non-incels lurking here that this is what bullying and rejection really does to some of us. This isn't about women, this isn't about sex, it's about what my life has become because I was born with a deformity and bad facial features (the cause of my bullying). I've been told to kill myself, been told that I'm ugly, that no one will ever love me. I've spent countless birthdays alone and had to spin countless lies to my family about how I have friends at school and that I'm doing just fine. I went to therapy twice and both therapists just prescribed drugs to me that increased my weight and made me feel worse about my appearance and thus pushing me further into this hole.

Sorry for the long post, had to let it all out

Badass illusion dude. What sort of bullying? Details.

 

[ProudIncelistani]

"No you fucking short skitskin nigger loser virgin misogynist! You deserved to be bullied!"
-The 600 kg hambeast known as u/BBW_gaming

 

[T3al]

I wish you the best dude, if you can at the very least you should try for a community college and work on your grades and then transfer to a good school. If you could get the grades before, with some hard work you can get them again. And community college beats sitting in a library. For starters I think you should come clean to your parents though. Tell them everything, I’m sure they’ll understand if you are completely honest. Then for the mean time you can make better use of your time and you wont be going through it alone. Keep your head up man.

 

[Deleted member 5861]

"Man up" - by evil feminist who complains about toxic masculinity (when guys like you approach her with COnfIdENcE) and has never suffered a day in her life.

 

[maynarde]

You showed some personal initiative and decision making by doing this, so nobody is gonna condemn you.

Sometimes in life, you just survive best you can.

Until you find a better solution.

 

[ControlledInsanity]

Why did you start lying about it? Were you trying to put off full time work or something?

 

[KekistaniIncel]

Sorry to hear that. I think your only way out is telling them what happened and the position you're in right now. Obviously they'll be mad at first, but you'll need to prove that you're the man your father thinks you are. Help him out in work all week if you can and study hard for your re-sits so that you'll gain a place in at least an average uni. Don't forget about foundation years also. It will take a while to regain your parents trust so good luck bro.

Oh and also, the sooner you tell them this, the easier it will be for you and them.

 

[Gremlincel]

Damn. That ain't easy. Respect for making it this far.

 

[anon]

I did a similar thing for 2 years. I kept lying to my parents about going to classes and getting good grades. I failed both years mostly because of low attendance.
In Europe we mostly stay home during college and commute by bus/tram/train. We don't have college dorms.

All I did was wait for my parents to leave for work and I'd just stay home and NEET it up all day every day for 2 years.

 

[The End]

Doesn't school cost a lot of money? Where does the money go if you're not paying tuition?

Lying to your parents is the path of least resistance. I'd keep pretending I was going to school... they'll find out you're a failure sooner or later. Let them have a few good months of thinking they didn't waste their time raising you.

 

[_incelinside]

I did a similar thing for 2 years. I kept lying to my parents about going to classes and getting good grades. I failed both years mostly because of low attendance.
In Europe we mostly stay home during college and commute by bus/tram/train. We don't have college dorms.

All I did was wait for my parents to leave for work and I'd just stay home and NEET it up all day every day for 2 years.

very expensive habit in terms of tuition fees

 

[satoshisacuck]

Stop living a lie and go to a trade school or something.

 

[deathgreetsmeslow]

Normies do this all the time after they party so hard they get kicked out. You’ll be fine

 

[anon]

very expensive habit in terms of tuition fees

I'm a yuropoor, it's only around 1000 euros a year.

 

[_incelinside]

I feel for you OP. Due to my ego I made the mistake of taking 4 difficult A-levels and got very depressed in exam season. I managed to salvage the grades to get into my insurance university though.

 

[KekistaniIncel]

Doesn't school cost a lot of money? Where does the money go if you're not paying tuition

In the UK you get student loans directly from the government, your parents don't pay for it like in the States.

 

[Gremlincel]

I did a similar thing for 2 years. I kept lying to my parents about going to classes and getting good grades. I failed both years mostly because of low attendance.
In Europe we mostly stay home during college and commute by bus/tram/train. We don't have college dorms.

All I did was wait for my parents to leave for work and I'd just stay home and NEET it up all day every day for 2 years.

You got some balls, kid. Impressive.

 

[The End]

In the UK you get student loans directly from the government, your parents don't pay for it like in the States.

Wow. Must be nice. You have to be rich to be smart here.

 

[Henry de Montherlant]

I deeply sympathize. If I could tell you something that may have helped me when I was your age: stop seeing studying as a social thing. Try to study just for the purpose of knowledge, try to completely black out everyone and focus on work. Also, admit you will never have a normal youth, *embrace* your abnormality (instead of despairing over it) and aim for betabux game in your later life.

It is also vital that you exercise regularly (running or lifting is ideal). It helps with brainpower and to keep depression at bay.

This.

I did a similar thing for 2 years. I kept lying to my parents about going to classes and getting good grades. I failed both years mostly because of low attendance.
In Europe we mostly stay home during college and commute by bus/tram/train. We don't have college dorms.

All I did was wait for my parents to leave for work and I'd just stay home and NEET it up all day every day for 2 years.

I went through a depressive episode during which I did the same you did. After validating the first semester, I came on NEET for 6 months because I thought what I did made no sense. Now I'm almost done validating this lost year, but I still find no sense in things. I don't care anymore. I just want a job and leave my parents for good. I'm just too depressed to keep being depressed basically. I'm curious about how it ended for you though. Did you cope through another year ?

 

[KekistaniIncel]

Wow. Must be nice. You have to be rich to be smart here.

Yeah it is much easier.

 

[Total Imbecile]

I dread to think how your parents will react once they learn that youre lying to them, especially your dad. OP I dont envy you at all

 

[anon]

This.

I went through a depressive episode during which I did the same you did. After validating the first semester, I came on NEET for 6 months because I thought what I did made no sense. Now I'm almost done validating this lost year, but I still find no sense in things. I don't care anymore. I just want a job and leave my parents for good. I'm just too depressed to keep being depressed basically. I'm curious about how it ended for you though. Did you cope through another year ?

I switched courses (from "stem" to easy useless course.) I'm doing better now, but I'm going to fail one subject out of 15. I'm still not attending classes, but this course is much more lenient on that. I still have to attend at least 30% which is still a struggle for me, but it looks like I'm going to make it.

 

[Deleted member 6214]

at least you are working helping your folks / try not to lie man / sometimes the truth hurts but its better than lying

if only the people bullying us could understand this, but they'll never care because they're heartless. i'm sorry about your situation man

Brutal dude. I know you probably don't want to hear this but I'd say just be straight with them. They sound very loving and caring which is better than the opposite. If letting them down is your biggest worry, a small let down is better than a big one. I'd really start considering the end game of this strategy now... I don't know you or your parents, but I feel as though they will understand. Its hard to face problems like this straight on, but I can say with experience the outcomes are almost always better.

I wish you the best dude, if you can at the very least you should try for a community college and work on your grades and then transfer to a good school. If you could get the grades before, with some hard work you can get them again. And community college beats sitting in a library. For starters I think you should come clean to your parents though. Tell them everything, I’m sure they’ll understand if you are completely honest. Then for the mean time you can make better use of your time and you wont be going through it alone. Keep your head up man.

You showed some personal initiative and decision making by doing this, so nobody is gonna condemn you.

Sometimes in life, you just survive best you can.

Until you find a better solution.

I have absolutely no idea what the kind of suffering you are going through OP. The only thing I know is that this has to get worse before it gets better. You can tell the truth and suffer for your lies now, or you can let it get even worse with time and suffer more later. Up to you.
I would recommend telling the whole truth: the lies started a long time ago when you said you were happy at school. Your parents sound like good people. I am sure they will understand. I really hope you tell them soon.

Sorry to hear that. I think your only way out is telling them what happened and the position you're in right now. Obviously they'll be mad at first, but you'll need to prove that you're the man your father thinks you are. Help him out in work all week if you can and study hard for your re-sits so that you'll gain a place in at least an average uni. Don't forget about foundation years also. It will take a while to regain your parents trust so good luck bro.

Oh and also, the sooner you tell them this, the easier it will be for you and them.

I feel for you OP. Due to my ego I made the mistake of taking 4 difficult A-levels and got very depressed in exam season. I managed to salvage the grades to get into my insurance university though.

Thanks for the kind comments all of you, I really appreciate it. Gonna have to decide what to do next, guess I may have to come clean...

 

[Reykjavik]

God bless you. You're deep in a sewage water of falsehood unknown to most of us. I have no idea what to say but wish you the best.

 

[Deleted member 6214]

"No you fucking short skitskin nigger loser virgin misogynist! You deserved to be bullied!"
-The 600 kg hambeast known as u/BBW_gaming

Lmao, this is one of the reasons why I made this post. I'm tired of inceltears and normies telling me I deserve to live like this.