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Hey, all. I call myself eldercelder. This is my first post. I've lurked a bit and decided to join, Below, I'll copy paste what I wrote when I registered. It's long, but it's here for anyone who wants to read it. Thank you for having me.
I'm an incel, never had sex or been in a relationship with a woman at the age of 40. In addition to that, my life has been a living hell of discrimination and weird behavior from people. I didn't know about the black pill until a few years ago, but in the past I was on love-shy forums and came to see myself as an omega male.
Some of the posts here seem like things I could have written myself. And it's amazing, because some of these people are half my age. When I was in my early 20s, there was no community or way to compare notes with others.
I've been hated in --and fired from-- nearly every shitty wageslave job I've ever had. I always seem to be blamed for everything, whether it's my fault or not. No one gives a shit about my suffering. I even had a nasty she-boon co-worker try to run me over in the parking lot at one job. Management did nothing about it and later found an excuse to fire me, like at every job.
If a foid is kindly or simply neutral toward me, I'm lucky. So many of them are hostile to me for no real reason, even if I'm not even attracted to them. It's even MORE insulting when it's the ugly ones. I get looks of disgust, hatred, and suspicion whenever I'm in public. And it's scary, because I need to be able to interact with people to some extent in order to survive.
Normies don't have these problems. If they need to deal with a bank teller, or secretary, or cashier, they don't have to factor in this extra layer of problems that stem from the hostility of said service worker, but I almost always receive it. I totally relate to the young female cashier being friendly with the guy in front of me, and the guy behind me, but getting all cold, hostile, or nasty when I step up to the register. I thought I was the only one who experienced this.
It's not just sex and dating, I've been rendered a social pariah and have had some very bizarre experiences. The few men I get along with at work are often confused. They think I'm a nice guy, but can't fathom WHY I have these problems with their fellow normies (who they have no problem getting along with). Men I get along with will often ask me, "What did you do to piss that woman off?" or "What did you say to make that guy so mad?" when, in reality, I haven't done anything, simply existed looking as I do.
Someone here put it best once, "I knew looks mattered, but I didn't know HOW MUCH they mattered." Even if it goes beyond just the face, mannerisms are a part of looks. I think even men or older women who don't care about my face still pick up on that uncanny valley, they can "see" something is different about me and act subconsciously.
It's a living hell.
Despite a few friendly acquaintances, I've never had any real long-term friends. As a kid in school, I was often the "starter friend" (a term I learned here). A new kid would latch onto me at first, then, once established in the social hierarchy, quickly discard me. In my 20s, I used to hit on women, all to no avail. I remember one time a girl did give me her number. When I called her a few days later, she was all nasty, "Who is this?? I'm at the movies right now! I'll call you later." Of course, she never called. I gave up trying years ago.
Inceldom isn't new, but it may be on the rise. I was in high school in the late 1990s, and was just as much of an incel then as I am now. I had a lot of hopium and a lot of confusion because there was no black pill theory. No one ever validated my thoughts and feelings. I didn't know there were others like me, so I kept trying to tell myself it was ME, all my fault, or I was doing something wrong.
I also thought into adulthood, people would "grow-up" and I'd eventually find a girlfriend to become my wife. "There's someone for everyone." By my mid/late 20s, I figured I was destined to be alone, but didn't realize lookism extended beyond sex/dating. It makes so much more sense now.
And it's true, once you've seen the black pill, you can't unsee it, it's everywhere. And normies get hostile or go into denial mode when you even hint at these truths.
There are a ton of stories I could share. One time, over 10 years ago, some nasty pig-looking foid manager I had said she got a complaint from a female customer about "one of the male workers" being inappropriate. Manager lady politely asked my male co-worker if it was him. When he said no, she immediately accused me. Said angrily, "WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT WHAT YOU DID!" I was shocked and confused and had no idea what she was talking about. She said, "I know you're lying!" I wondered why she was so easy on the first guy but so hostile and quick to point fingers at ME.
Turns out, it was a third male co-worker who she hadn't even considered. But she politely asked the first guy, took his word for it, then went on a tirade against me. At the time, I didn't know why she hated me so much or what made me any more/less a suspect than the first guy (or any other male co-worker).
I've had problems with tallfags. One asshole manager who was about 6'4 used to say, "When I was a kid, we used to beat guys like you up all the time." Another tallfag co-worker assaulted and strangled me once out of the blue.
It's getting harder as I get older. Nothing has really changed, high school never ends, etc. In fact, I think I was bullied more in my 30s then when I was a kid. Even when things are going okay, I'm paranoid about the next catastrophe, or re-living all these traumatic events from my past 4 decades.
Also, until my later 30s, I never understood that men and women have different sets of attractiveness in viewing faces. I can tell a Chad from a circus freak (the two extremes), but I used to see some of the guys that the girls went nuts over and think, "What the hell's so special about HIM? He doesn't look like a model. He looks like a regular nobody." I used to think to myself, "I'm not a model, but I'm not a circus freak either. I look no different from any other regular guy. I should have all the same opportunities as them." But it didn't happen. Girls have called me gross and ugly to my face, while other men (who don't look like anything special to me) are treated normally or even crushed on by foids.
To get an accurate rating on how good or ugly looking a man is, you CANNOT trust another man's opinion or your own. You'd have to survey 100 foids of various backgrounds and ages. Their average rating will tell you how attractive a man is or isn't IN THE EYES OF WOMEN. I guess I'm uglier in the eyes of foids than I ever realized when I was younger.
In conclusion, I'd like to join and share experiences and interact with the only people on earth who can seemingly relate to me.
I'm an incel, never had sex or been in a relationship with a woman at the age of 40. In addition to that, my life has been a living hell of discrimination and weird behavior from people. I didn't know about the black pill until a few years ago, but in the past I was on love-shy forums and came to see myself as an omega male.
Some of the posts here seem like things I could have written myself. And it's amazing, because some of these people are half my age. When I was in my early 20s, there was no community or way to compare notes with others.
I've been hated in --and fired from-- nearly every shitty wageslave job I've ever had. I always seem to be blamed for everything, whether it's my fault or not. No one gives a shit about my suffering. I even had a nasty she-boon co-worker try to run me over in the parking lot at one job. Management did nothing about it and later found an excuse to fire me, like at every job.
If a foid is kindly or simply neutral toward me, I'm lucky. So many of them are hostile to me for no real reason, even if I'm not even attracted to them. It's even MORE insulting when it's the ugly ones. I get looks of disgust, hatred, and suspicion whenever I'm in public. And it's scary, because I need to be able to interact with people to some extent in order to survive.
Normies don't have these problems. If they need to deal with a bank teller, or secretary, or cashier, they don't have to factor in this extra layer of problems that stem from the hostility of said service worker, but I almost always receive it. I totally relate to the young female cashier being friendly with the guy in front of me, and the guy behind me, but getting all cold, hostile, or nasty when I step up to the register. I thought I was the only one who experienced this.
It's not just sex and dating, I've been rendered a social pariah and have had some very bizarre experiences. The few men I get along with at work are often confused. They think I'm a nice guy, but can't fathom WHY I have these problems with their fellow normies (who they have no problem getting along with). Men I get along with will often ask me, "What did you do to piss that woman off?" or "What did you say to make that guy so mad?" when, in reality, I haven't done anything, simply existed looking as I do.
Someone here put it best once, "I knew looks mattered, but I didn't know HOW MUCH they mattered." Even if it goes beyond just the face, mannerisms are a part of looks. I think even men or older women who don't care about my face still pick up on that uncanny valley, they can "see" something is different about me and act subconsciously.
It's a living hell.
Despite a few friendly acquaintances, I've never had any real long-term friends. As a kid in school, I was often the "starter friend" (a term I learned here). A new kid would latch onto me at first, then, once established in the social hierarchy, quickly discard me. In my 20s, I used to hit on women, all to no avail. I remember one time a girl did give me her number. When I called her a few days later, she was all nasty, "Who is this?? I'm at the movies right now! I'll call you later." Of course, she never called. I gave up trying years ago.
Inceldom isn't new, but it may be on the rise. I was in high school in the late 1990s, and was just as much of an incel then as I am now. I had a lot of hopium and a lot of confusion because there was no black pill theory. No one ever validated my thoughts and feelings. I didn't know there were others like me, so I kept trying to tell myself it was ME, all my fault, or I was doing something wrong.
I also thought into adulthood, people would "grow-up" and I'd eventually find a girlfriend to become my wife. "There's someone for everyone." By my mid/late 20s, I figured I was destined to be alone, but didn't realize lookism extended beyond sex/dating. It makes so much more sense now.
And it's true, once you've seen the black pill, you can't unsee it, it's everywhere. And normies get hostile or go into denial mode when you even hint at these truths.
There are a ton of stories I could share. One time, over 10 years ago, some nasty pig-looking foid manager I had said she got a complaint from a female customer about "one of the male workers" being inappropriate. Manager lady politely asked my male co-worker if it was him. When he said no, she immediately accused me. Said angrily, "WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT WHAT YOU DID!" I was shocked and confused and had no idea what she was talking about. She said, "I know you're lying!" I wondered why she was so easy on the first guy but so hostile and quick to point fingers at ME.
Turns out, it was a third male co-worker who she hadn't even considered. But she politely asked the first guy, took his word for it, then went on a tirade against me. At the time, I didn't know why she hated me so much or what made me any more/less a suspect than the first guy (or any other male co-worker).
I've had problems with tallfags. One asshole manager who was about 6'4 used to say, "When I was a kid, we used to beat guys like you up all the time." Another tallfag co-worker assaulted and strangled me once out of the blue.
It's getting harder as I get older. Nothing has really changed, high school never ends, etc. In fact, I think I was bullied more in my 30s then when I was a kid. Even when things are going okay, I'm paranoid about the next catastrophe, or re-living all these traumatic events from my past 4 decades.
Also, until my later 30s, I never understood that men and women have different sets of attractiveness in viewing faces. I can tell a Chad from a circus freak (the two extremes), but I used to see some of the guys that the girls went nuts over and think, "What the hell's so special about HIM? He doesn't look like a model. He looks like a regular nobody." I used to think to myself, "I'm not a model, but I'm not a circus freak either. I look no different from any other regular guy. I should have all the same opportunities as them." But it didn't happen. Girls have called me gross and ugly to my face, while other men (who don't look like anything special to me) are treated normally or even crushed on by foids.
To get an accurate rating on how good or ugly looking a man is, you CANNOT trust another man's opinion or your own. You'd have to survey 100 foids of various backgrounds and ages. Their average rating will tell you how attractive a man is or isn't IN THE EYES OF WOMEN. I guess I'm uglier in the eyes of foids than I ever realized when I was younger.
In conclusion, I'd like to join and share experiences and interact with the only people on earth who can seemingly relate to me.
