We are all told in childhood that it gets easier as you get older. I really wish that was the case. The more I grew up the worse life has gotten for me. I used to have a handful of friends growing up, all gone now. I used to have neighbors I would play soccer with all day, all gone now. I used to have a family that somewhat cared about me, its all gone now.
The last time I hungout with somebody was 4 years ago. The last time I made a friend was a decade ago. Now I just rot in my dad's house. Hes almost 80 years old so interacting with him has become difficult but I literally have no one else. Hes doing all he can to find a job for me but honestly I dont have it in me to live a wage-cuck life for the next 60 years of my life.
Every piece of media I consume reminds me how worthless I am and how everyone else has it better than me. Even looking at sappy cringemaxxed romance drives me to extreme sadness, reminding me of the fact that my time is up and I never got the chance to experience anything like that, that opportunity isnt just unlikely, its actually already gone. Even browsing this site upsets me, when its always in the back of my mind that normal people arent here on .is, theyre out there enjoying life while im left out to slowly rot from the inside out
Ever since I was born it has only gotten worse for me, and thats saying a lot as I was born a mistake anyway. The temptation to end it all has been ramping up year after year. Im tired, I have run out of enjoyment for pretty much all of my copes, and I dont think think I can live like this much longer, nor do I want to. I dont see it getting any better from here, not that it isnt too late for that anyway. I hope one day I can just muster up the courage to do it, and put myself out of my own misery.
The last time I hungout with somebody was 4 years ago. The last time I made a friend was a decade ago. Now I just rot in my dad's house. Hes almost 80 years old so interacting with him has become difficult but I literally have no one else. Hes doing all he can to find a job for me but honestly I dont have it in me to live a wage-cuck life for the next 60 years of my life.
Every piece of media I consume reminds me how worthless I am and how everyone else has it better than me. Even looking at sappy cringemaxxed romance drives me to extreme sadness, reminding me of the fact that my time is up and I never got the chance to experience anything like that, that opportunity isnt just unlikely, its actually already gone. Even browsing this site upsets me, when its always in the back of my mind that normal people arent here on .is, theyre out there enjoying life while im left out to slowly rot from the inside out
Ever since I was born it has only gotten worse for me, and thats saying a lot as I was born a mistake anyway. The temptation to end it all has been ramping up year after year. Im tired, I have run out of enjoyment for pretty much all of my copes, and I dont think think I can live like this much longer, nor do I want to. I dont see it getting any better from here, not that it isnt too late for that anyway. I hope one day I can just muster up the courage to do it, and put myself out of my own misery.
