Perturber
Banned
-
- Joined
- Jul 1, 2020
- Posts
- 135
After being an outcast for so long i have noticed over the course of years my physche has changed alot, i dont even know if i can call them "bad" changes, they are just changes.
-Structure my entire day around avoiding people unless its for work. i cant relate to anybody i knew so i isolated myself a while back.
-99% of the time i dont even listen to what people say.. i just use the little bit of energy i have, to modulate my facial expressions, to make it seem like im listening.
-Paranoia and anxiety at social gatherings with more than like, 5 people. whenever there's a laugh or change in tone i automatically assume its at my expense, usually its not but i cant convince my mind of that.
-Have to carry a self defense weapon all the time because for some fucking reason people always wanna start shit with me over the smallest infractions or perceived disrespect that i didnt intend.
-Try my best to not pay attention to anybody [esp female] while out, avoiding eyes. for some reason ive noticed it really saps my energy.
anybody care to share theirs? sometimes i feel like im slowly devolving into a much more pathetic man, but idk. i used to be so confident, cheerful and happy.
-Structure my entire day around avoiding people unless its for work. i cant relate to anybody i knew so i isolated myself a while back.
-99% of the time i dont even listen to what people say.. i just use the little bit of energy i have, to modulate my facial expressions, to make it seem like im listening.
-Paranoia and anxiety at social gatherings with more than like, 5 people. whenever there's a laugh or change in tone i automatically assume its at my expense, usually its not but i cant convince my mind of that.
-Have to carry a self defense weapon all the time because for some fucking reason people always wanna start shit with me over the smallest infractions or perceived disrespect that i didnt intend.
-Try my best to not pay attention to anybody [esp female] while out, avoiding eyes. for some reason ive noticed it really saps my energy.
anybody care to share theirs? sometimes i feel like im slowly devolving into a much more pathetic man, but idk. i used to be so confident, cheerful and happy.