Years of isolation has really ate away at my mind. The loneliness, ostracisation, neglection has all taken a long-term toll on my mental state. Due to a series of depressing events, I've become increasingly more cooped up inside my home barely making contact with people except for family and one college friend.
This all has resulted in me becoming severely socially inept to the point where I feel completely alienated whenever I'm around people. I feel like a complete disfunctional subhuman who's unable to fit in and socialise. I can't take this much longer, it's been going on for years except it just gets worse.
This post all leads me to my recent attempt to escape whatever nightmare this is. I attempted to socialise and remembered why I became so distant in the first place.
I couldn't tell if I either couldn't say anything or wouldn't say anything. Words didn't come out of my mouth, and I simply sat in silence as the rest of them were laughing amongst themselves. My anxiety grew increasingly worse, and so did my depression. I simply didn't know how to fit in with them, and felt so alienated to the point where it felt dehumanising. And the way some of them spoke to me seemed either dismissive or patronising, both of which I really disliked. I'd rather be alone instead of having people acknowledge my subhumanity.
I hate being alone and I hate going out. I don't fit in. It's always a constant nightmare.
Anyone else?
This all has resulted in me becoming severely socially inept to the point where I feel completely alienated whenever I'm around people. I feel like a complete disfunctional subhuman who's unable to fit in and socialise. I can't take this much longer, it's been going on for years except it just gets worse.
This post all leads me to my recent attempt to escape whatever nightmare this is. I attempted to socialise and remembered why I became so distant in the first place.
I couldn't tell if I either couldn't say anything or wouldn't say anything. Words didn't come out of my mouth, and I simply sat in silence as the rest of them were laughing amongst themselves. My anxiety grew increasingly worse, and so did my depression. I simply didn't know how to fit in with them, and felt so alienated to the point where it felt dehumanising. And the way some of them spoke to me seemed either dismissive or patronising, both of which I really disliked. I'd rather be alone instead of having people acknowledge my subhumanity.
I hate being alone and I hate going out. I don't fit in. It's always a constant nightmare.
Anyone else?
