Serious If I join scientology will they give me a girlfriend?

[Total Imbecile]

I will believe in their space airliner theory, I dont really care tbh, I have no principles anymore, the only thing that matters in life is having a girlfriend

I was also considering jewmaxxing and moving to israel but they will only give you land, no gf

 

[ThoughtfulCel]

No

 

[Pengwin]

No

 

[Total Imbecile]

No

They are supposed to care for and protect their own members and the church

Im too afraid to email them to ask cause I dont want them spamming me JFL

 

[Gymcelled]

The things men would do for a gf

 

[crestfallencel]

i think you gotta pay for the higher service tiers

 

[Deleted member 29033]

They will take your money and that's about it

 

[Renegade]

I was also considering jewmaxxing and moving to israel but they will only give you land, no gf

You can't "jewmaxx". Unlike Christianity and Islam, you can't convert to Judaism. It's directly by your parents that the religion is transmitted and there is no other way.

 

[PotatoTomato]

what is scientology anyway?
it's some sort of american cult, right? what do they believe in?

 

[Deleted member 24081]

Unlikely.

 

[Indari]

yes bro do it immediately for qt 3.14 scientology gf

 

[ThoughtfulCel]

They are supposed to care for and protect their own members and the church

Im too afraid to email them to ask cause I dont want them spamming me JFL

Im not saying they wouldn't care for you. I just don't think they hand out GF's. If it were that easy many here could easily ascend

 

[metabuxx]

No scientology for your face

 

[Deleted member 20413]

use the money to buy one

 

[Uglymuggly]

No

 

[Strong One]

I will believe in their space airliner theory, I dont really care tbh, I have no principles anymore, the only thing that matters in life is having a girlfriend

I was also considering jewmaxxing and moving to israel but they will only give you land, no gf

Well good luck on purchasing thousands of dollars of science fiction novels. People went into debt trying to get their stupid books.

 

[Mecoja]

what is scientology anyway?
it's some sort of american cult, right? what do they believe in?

Superior alien gods

 

[Personalityinkwell]

Have you thought about buying a ukranian or russian bride?

 

[Hail The Bloatlord]

No, but they'll take all your money if that interests you

 

[turbocuckcel_7000]

i doubt it

at any rate religious cults don't generate women out of thin air, if you were to join a religious cult it would have to be in a place with a good gender ratio, that is lots of women

 

[Justice Bao]

xemu is based

 

[Dregster666]

No, but they'll take all your money if that interests you

 

[PresidentCel]

No but they will take all your money and turn you into a brainwashed slave. Which is something you said you wanted the other day.

what is scientology anyway?
it's some sort of american cult, right? what do they believe in?

They believe that an intergalactic dictator named Xenu brainwashed and murdered a bunch of aliens on Earth millions of years ago, and that brainwashed alien ghosts infest humans and make them unhappy. If you pay Scientology enough money they can suck the alien ghosts out of you and make you happy again. But the alien ghost problem keeps getting worse and the price keeps going up. Basically they are an overglamorized UFO cult founded by a failed science fiction writer turned con man.

 

[Iwanttolive]

Only the Tom cruises n John travoltas get them

 

[FallenPrime]

They will take your money and that's about it

 

[wereqryan]

Unlikely.

 

[PresidentCel]

Only the Tom cruises n John travoltas get them

Travolta is gay, or at least bi. I don't think he'd care if they gave him women. The jury is still out on Cruise.

Cultmaxxing really only works to get women if you are the leader or one of the high level people in the cult. You're basically creating a new society with yourself at or near the top of the social status hierarchy.

 

[Jazavac]

no, they'll take your money and get you imprisoned if you try to protest.

 

[Emba]

Are you, "clear?"

The Mormons are better tbh...

 

[based_meme]

No, you will be Tom Cruise's slave. If he fancies you and that tight ass you're so proud of, it's over.

 

[Deleted member 28903]

They are supposed to care for and protect their own members and the church

Im too afraid to email them to ask cause I dont want them spamming me JFL

It's just a cult for siphoning money out of retarded boomers