I've kinda given up all hope that I can ever lead a happy life. I know nothing will go my way and I'll never be able to live a normal life. I've let myself devolve into such a miserable disgusting piece of shit and there's really no turning back. My existence nowadays is quite frankly just half-assed and pathetic. I think I've partially moved on from clinging to life in hopes of being happy, I think now I'm more focused on becoming significant. I want to alter this world in some way before I die maybe in a good way but not necessarily. As long as I radically change the world, that's good enough for me. Even if people in the future fear my name when reading about me in history books, I would feel somewhat satisfied. If my name became like Voldemort or something, that would boost my ego quite a bit.
Look at someone like Elliot Roger, he changed the world at least somewhat. Now I have quite a few problems with Rodger, mainly how he ultimately failed to carry out his plan due to his incompetence, but there's no denying he made a difference. I'm not saying I want to be like Elliot Rodger by the way, I'm just expressing I want people to know who I am.
Look at someone like Elliot Roger, he changed the world at least somewhat. Now I have quite a few problems with Rodger, mainly how he ultimately failed to carry out his plan due to his incompetence, but there's no denying he made a difference. I'm not saying I want to be like Elliot Rodger by the way, I'm just expressing I want people to know who I am.
