Blackpill I Was In A Dwam Most of Last Weekend.

[DarkStar]

For those unfamiliar with the definition of a dwam, this is it: a stupor or daydream (esp in the phrase in a dwam)

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What caused this, was an accumulation of my anxiety for the future, regrets over the past combined with sadness over how my life has been, and just a general sense of depression & dread. It all hit me like a freight train hits an Indian, and I literally spent at least 4-6 hours or so on each day just starring at my laptop screen, with just all these thoughts rushing through my head simultaneously.

Honestly, I don't know what this is: Perhaps, it's a sign to get out & try again? Honestly, I've had just a massive surge to give it all one last shot: idc what anyone comments on this, but I may as well, 'cause I have literally nothing to lose.

In a sense, I am proud of myself for how I handled this; I know my past self would have gotten more emotional & possibly erratic. However, I was not able to "collect" my thoughts the way I should have been: I should have journaled them down or "mapped" them as I sometimes have done, and I'm a bit frustrated for that.

 

[VideoGameCoper]

Brutal af. Sucks we have to go through this

 

[DarkStar]

@Chudpreet
@wereq
@To koniec
@WorthlessSlavicShit
@LeFrenchCel
@SuperKanga.Belgrade
@Ron.Belgrade
@Regenerator
@SupremeAutist
@ElTruecel

 

[copemaxx9002]

Relatable

 

[SuperKanga.Belgrade]

Can relate unfortunately

Most of my time is spent doing nothing because I don't have the strength to keep myself entertained. I just sit and wallow in my misery 24/7.

 

[Skelly.Belgrade]

It's a coping mechanism

 

[ElTruecel]

It's a coping mechanism
View attachment 1280895

I do this everyday good cope

 

[Chudpreet]

I'm just rolling with life's punches at this point when it comes to my future. Whatever happens happens

 

[copemaxx9002]

I'm just rolling with life's punches at this point when it comes to my future. Whatever happens happens

Cope

 

[Chudpreet]

Cope

How is that a cope? I'm just too broken and beaten down by the world to give a fuck anymore

 

[Freixel]

For those unfamiliar with the definition of a dwam, this is it: a stupor or daydream (esp in the phrase in a dwam)

Dictionary.com | Meanings & Definitions of English Words

The world's leading online dictionary: English definitions, synonyms, word origins, example sentences, word games, and more. A trusted authority for 25+ years!

www.dictionary.com

What caused this, was an accumulation of my anxiety for the future, regrets over the past combined with sadness over how my life has been, and just a general sense of depression & dread. It all hit me like a freight train hits an Indian, and I literally spent at least 4-6 hours or so on each day just starring at my laptop screen, with just all these thoughts rushing through my head simultaneously.

Pff, you're a beginner

I had episodes like this every day for months from last year until the beginning of this year, and for longer hours. Literally a stone on the outside and a neuronal explosion on the inside.

I even felt like I couldn't control my mind, just mental images non-stop and without control, I felt mentally possessed and that I couldn't do anything to stop those thoughts and images, just stay there still.

On the outside, all you saw of me was that I was seeing the same images on Google Images, over and over again.

I felt like I was literally going insane, I was very afraid.

 

[Regenerator]

I can't day dream.

 

[Ron.Belgrade]

Honestly, I don't know what this is: Perhaps, it's a sign to get out & try again?

Yes!!!! Let it motivate you!

I love seeing my brocels succeed

 

[LeFrenchCel]

What being inkwel does to a man

 

[LWii]

I've been doing this all my life.

 

[DarkStar]

I can't day dream.

Really?

Tbh, idk if this really "counts" in a way, since it was just a lot of flashbacks, anxiety, etc.

What being inkwel does to a man

I'm just rolling with life's punches at this point when it comes to my future. Whatever happens happens

I don't know why, but I have some reason to fight

 

[DarkStar]

Yes!!!! Let it motivate you!

I love seeing my brocels succeed

I've gotta do what I can

I just can't go out like this, I have to keep on trying at least till I'm 25-27ish I'd say

I may as well do whatever I can now

 

[Sloth.Belgrade]

I sometimes daydream

 

[SupremeAutist]

I've gotta do what I can

I just can't go out like this, I have to keep on trying at least till I'm 25-27ish I'd say

I may as well do whatever I can now

Same I just can't accept this life

 

[Regenerator]

Really?

Tbh, idk if this really "counts" in a way, since it was just a lot of flashbacks, anxiety, etc.

My mind is empty most of the time.

 

[DarkStar]

Same I just can't accept this life

We just have absolutely nothing to lose man, at all.

It's depressing seeing what we've missed out on, but we've gotta throw everything we have into trying to ascend while we have a bit of time left. We cannot just give up man, we've gotta take any shot we can

Fuck, I'm so desperate

 

[DarkStar]

My mind is empty most of the time.

Sounds both blissful, and brutal tbh

 

[Regenerator]

Sounds both blissful, and brutal tbh

Help's me concentrate.

 

[DarkStar]

I'm just rolling with life's punches at this point when it comes to my future. Whatever happens happens

I'm in a somewhat similar stance, since I have gotten used to many of the issues I have & can sort of accept them in a way.

But idk, something in me wants to fight & try again: I know stuff is shit, but I can't make it to 25 or past & have regrets on not trying.

Help's me concentrate.

I should try whatever you do tbh, I need more focus in life right now.

 

[over_department]

This happens to me everyday. I malapadive daydream way too much

 

[Regenerator]

I should try whatever you do tbh, I need more focus in life right now.