Today has been a very low and tiresome occasion. I find that as I get further into my thoughts I just want to turn away. Staying sober is at the front of my mind, and I don't know how I'm gonna manage to do this when my life is so horribly shit right now.
I know that I've gotten myself in this position for the most part, but I don't see a viable way to dig myself out. I can't imagine staying sober for the rest of my life. Being fed zog pills, and wage slaving some shit job. Alone. No friends. No real family who loves me.
All of today I just LDARotted in my room. I've got a big ass bruise under my eye, my whole body is sore, and I feel completely broken.
Life has been an experience that I never want to go through ever again. Through the ups and the downs, and all of its nothing. If anybody can give me any advice I would greatly appreciate it. I never want to work ever again. But I doubt I'll genuinely have a chance at getting on NEEtbux. Even with all of my horrible mental health problems, and constant self hatred.
I've been in and out of different hospitals, gone through multiple therapists, taken a plethora of medication, and nothing seems to help me. Four suicide attempts in my life. My own family hates me. I hate me.
I have been diagnosed with major depressive disorder in the past, and one of my old therapists believes I may also have major bipolar disorder as well.
Everything just feels so broken in my brain, and life is a living hell for me.
I know that I've gotten myself in this position for the most part, but I don't see a viable way to dig myself out. I can't imagine staying sober for the rest of my life. Being fed zog pills, and wage slaving some shit job. Alone. No friends. No real family who loves me.
All of today I just LDARotted in my room. I've got a big ass bruise under my eye, my whole body is sore, and I feel completely broken.
Life has been an experience that I never want to go through ever again. Through the ups and the downs, and all of its nothing. If anybody can give me any advice I would greatly appreciate it. I never want to work ever again. But I doubt I'll genuinely have a chance at getting on NEEtbux. Even with all of my horrible mental health problems, and constant self hatred.
I've been in and out of different hospitals, gone through multiple therapists, taken a plethora of medication, and nothing seems to help me. Four suicide attempts in my life. My own family hates me. I hate me.
I have been diagnosed with major depressive disorder in the past, and one of my old therapists believes I may also have major bipolar disorder as well.
Everything just feels so broken in my brain, and life is a living hell for me.
