Beautiful fall of 2013, after LDARing for two years, and failing my entrance exams twice, I finally got accepted to the elite university in my country. A new bright future life seemed to be unveiling for me. I still had 0 romantic experiences with women, but even then that didn't bother me. College was where you reinvent yourself, right? And I'd bet everything on this cliched saying. In October I moved on campus, I still remember that sweet coolish breeze and bronze maple leafs being blown on the outskirts of this beautiful European city. The perfect backdrop to re-boot my life for the better. I was new in town, nobody knew me yet as the weird kid, and I was set to spend the next 3 years of partying, flirting with girls and discussing Hegelian ontology.
I still remember the day I walked in my college dorm. The room was small, smelled of cigarettes, and it had new mattresses since we just survived a scabies pandemic. Disgusting! But many great things happen in the dirtiest of places. My roommate was a norwooding athlete type, who's presence nonetheless eclipsed mine. The girl next door was sultry brunette with a nice banana shaped ante-face and luscious wavy hair, a overly cheerful girl from the balkans. Her attention whoring let me knew that it was a classic daddy issue case from the moment I met her.
My roommate had a visible dislike of her and my first week there they've already got into a nasty fight over some disgusting bread crumbs that were stuck in the butter we shared. The two of them were yelling at each other, I cringed at the drama. "Man I wish she would shut her fucking gypsy yap" he told me before going on a rant, unfiltered. I didn't know what beef he had with her, nor did I care, all I wanted was to lose my virginity asap, and her unstable loose attitude made it look plausible.
I played with the idea of ratting him out to her, telling her every nasty racist slur he used to describe her, It was the perfect situation to buy some clout with her. I remembered Brechts quote; "what is the robbing of a bank compared to funding one" -- What is cock-blocking a Chad compared to being one?
Later that night I returned from lectures at 9.pm. as I entered the door I found them embracing on the bed, still clothed. "Fuck, did they just kiss and make up? " I wasn't even shocked as I was avare of her loose inclinations. "Heyyy bro," he said with a genuine smile on his face. We exchanged a few words and I left them to 'talk it out'. I went drinking to a lounge bar, talking to some 30yr balding druggie who noticed my Joy Division t-shirt, I was there for another couple of hours, until I suffered a massive heartburn from all the J&B's I've drank. I was getting really sleepy, I went back to the dorm.
As I pushed the door I bumped it into someones head, It was a guy I newer saw before guarding it, and he opened it to me laughing. On my bed there laid the girl, visibly high, in her underwear and with her woolen sweater rolled up her rib cage, exposing her saggy tits with peach pink nipples. My roommate was kneeling on the matress, with his crotch above her head, his belt unbuckled -- quickly adjusting his briefs. The third guy was rubbing her naked thigh, into it like a horny dog, he didn't even notice me. "It's Ok, he's just my new rommie" , my roommate calmed the room. The TV was on and a bizarre report on a turkish hunchback woman who had her head at the height of her intestines. The girl sat up on the bed and looked at me -- without making eye contact -- and started laughing" haha not with him here nooooo!" , my roommate noded at me in a 'sorry bud' kinda way, confirming the rejection. The circle had already enclosed without me, I was back in high school again: rejected, mortified, ignored.
The hearburn was so bad I can still feel it vividly, I just wanted to sleep now, and I spent the night in the room next door, sleeping on her bed, as they were taking turns on her. A washed out poster of shirtless Tom Selleck that has been probably there for decades was glued to the cieling just above where I was laying... for a moment it felt like he was smiling back at me.
