I’ve been listening to this song recently, and the lyrics caught my attention:
It's another verse
About how sometimes I still think of her
But I try to forget I try not to think and get it out of my head
Well it's a funny thing
'Cause if I did I wouldn't even want to sing
The same can be said for myself, but in a slightly different context.
I try to forget about my oneitis and get her out of my head, but at the same time if I do succeed, I would feel less of a need to go onto .is so often – and I love being on here.
Not only that but the dopamine that I get from constantly thinking about her and re-visiting her posts I have grown almost addicted to. So if I eventually do stop thinking about her, I would still miss the feeling I get.
Over the last year it has become an autistic routine, of viewing her content at certain times of the day, for example if I don’t rewatch these posts of hers in a particular order I have trouble falling asleep.. And if I don’t watch this certain set of her videos in the morning, she is in the complete centre of my mind until I do so. I’ve tried to stop, and I have, but eventually relapse.. it’s like an addiction – I’m addicted to the feeling it brings me. The feeling of a relationship, a companionship. What we biologically need in nature, we must have, and if we can’t then our body will account for what it is missing. In my case, this is a human connection in the form of a relationship, so my body accounts for its closest factor (leads to parasocial infatuations). I mentioned similarities in this thread:
incels.is
That’s why even though I really want to get her out of my mind, at the same time I don’t because of these reasons I mentioned. I know I will benefit myself overall if I do, but it’s yet another commitment to something that may just fail in the end.
@Last2025cel
It's another verse
About how sometimes I still think of her
But I try to forget I try not to think and get it out of my head
Well it's a funny thing
'Cause if I did I wouldn't even want to sing
The same can be said for myself, but in a slightly different context.
I try to forget about my oneitis and get her out of my head, but at the same time if I do succeed, I would feel less of a need to go onto .is so often – and I love being on here.
Not only that but the dopamine that I get from constantly thinking about her and re-visiting her posts I have grown almost addicted to. So if I eventually do stop thinking about her, I would still miss the feeling I get.
Over the last year it has become an autistic routine, of viewing her content at certain times of the day, for example if I don’t rewatch these posts of hers in a particular order I have trouble falling asleep.. And if I don’t watch this certain set of her videos in the morning, she is in the complete centre of my mind until I do so. I’ve tried to stop, and I have, but eventually relapse.. it’s like an addiction – I’m addicted to the feeling it brings me. The feeling of a relationship, a companionship. What we biologically need in nature, we must have, and if we can’t then our body will account for what it is missing. In my case, this is a human connection in the form of a relationship, so my body accounts for its closest factor (leads to parasocial infatuations). I mentioned similarities in this thread:
Biological Response to a lack of Connection
When we are lacking a factor that biologically we need to have to survive and pass on genes - our body is naturally going to find ways to account and fill the gaps. When the brain lacks something essential (connection, intimacy, belonging), it doesn’t shut down - it compensates. Such as: Being...
incels.is
That’s why even though I really want to get her out of my mind, at the same time I don’t because of these reasons I mentioned. I know I will benefit myself overall if I do, but it’s yet another commitment to something that may just fail in the end.
@Last2025cel
