Venting I think I have a traumatic reaction to my drunk father's bullshit

[Caesercel]

I just need to vent this. Its not like my father does anything bad or anything. He just....

PLAYS MUSIC ON LOUDSPEAKERS AT 4 IN THE FUCKING MORNING

The thing is it shouldn't bother me this much since I don't sleep at night anyway and I will leave here soon enough. But this and other bullshit he pulls out still gives me a lot of stress.

I reckon its trauma resulting from the years I spend wishing for his bullshit to end every fucking day, when it did affect me. Or the years I spent later trying to fight him, sometimes in angry frenzies, to get him to stop. If I went to a therapist they would certainly diagnose me with some trauma induced disorder.

 

[Fancy Alcoholic]

You still live with him ?

 

[Caesercel]

You still live with him ?

No. But its still my home and I am visiting

 

[imsorry]

I went through this whilst, I was living in dorms. It fucked me up.

When are you planning to move out?

 

[Fancy Alcoholic]

No. But its still my home and I am visiting

Does he know about what you feel ? Maybe you could reason him now that you're grown up

 

[Caesercel]

I went through this whilst, I was living in dorms. It fucked me up.

When are you planning to move out?

I've already moved out. I'm just visiting. That's why the stress is irrational and likely emanating from triggered trauma. But then again me moving out didn't change the fact that him turning into an alcoholic neet has put my family's future into darkness and put a lot of responsibilities and pressure onto me.

 

[Caesercel]

Does he know about what you feel ? Maybe you could reason him now that you're grown up

There's no reasoning with an alcoholic. Especially one like him who doesn't gaf about others when hammered. Infact reasoning, argument or fights are exactly the kind of thinf he would want, just to pass the time.

 

[Tenshi]

my dad does that when he drinks too, fucking annoying. Actually this is very relateable, I remember being on this constant state of anger and unquietness due to all the bs my dad would do. It was so irritating that even his presence sometimes was enough to trigger uncomfort on me.

 

[Meus]

Imagine not beating up your dad lmao

 

[Irredeemable]

Imagine not beating up your dad lmao

It's over if you can't beat up your own dad.

 

[Caesercel]

I'm relly sorry to hear that, i argue with my dad very often and as i grew up and became stronger the fights are more and more violent, we are very close to get physical these days.

Fuck sorry i shouldn't talk about myself since it's your thread venting but just said that so you know you're not alone, maybe it will make you feel better.

Oh don't worry. Its better if others share. Yes, on the worst days it gets a lot physical. I've avoided going full on fight mode tho. Nowadays I practice tolerance but its still hard constantly worrying about something to go wrong.

It was so irritating that even his presence sometimes was enough to trigger uncomfort on me.

I can fully relate. There's a time of peace and quiet when he sleeps. But the moment he's there a stress takes over. You just wait for the next bout of bullshit and mentally prepare for what you have to do. Even if nothing is happening.

Imagine not beating up your dad lmao

I've come close

 

[Pengwin]

Damn, I'm honestly glad that I haven't seen my dad in years.